Traditions in his family are weird, If I have to do that. I will do it myself!!!

[newmumy2022]

My partner's family tradition is weird.
Must have had earrings in my daughter's ears when she was three months old.
I was resistant. But if I really had to do it, I would do it myself.

Is there anyone in or around Liverpool who has done Baby ear piercings?
Any good places to recommend?
And what kind of earrings should I prepare?

I wonder if maybe this kind of mini earrings could fit?

https://www.trendollajewelry.com/collections/nap-earrings/products/trendolla-king-crown-earrings-ball-back-earrings-nap-earrings

Help!!!
FFFF!!!

Your concern should be for your baby.

You don’t “really have to” hurt your baby on her fathers family’s say so. You can say no, and your partner should back you. If his family said she had to have fgm would you do it? Marry her off at 13? Not educate her beyond 11? No. Then don’t do this either.

If he would leave you over ear piercing then he's not worth having

Give them a time frame. Say (for example) on her 12th birthday, or, when she's 15.whatever, and then be firm. That's your tradition (put it like that).

Really important to start laying down the law. Of course, compromise when you can, but often you cannot. Don't apologise. She's a child of 2 cultures.

Worried about losing the argument or losing your partner? Are you ok? You sound like you’re in a difficult relationship.

You have to be kidding me. You’d rather hurt your baby than lose your partner.

fuck me!

Anywhere that will pierce her ears at that age is no reputable.

what’s next that you/she will be forced into under the guise of ‘tradition’

like fuck I would let this happen to my daughter

Your job is to protect your tiny baby.

Not capitulate to other adults at the first push.

This is your first opportunity to learn to be a good parent to your defenceless kid.

Or will you prioritise your own comfort and the demands of others over her?

You have a child now. She must be your priority, above all else.

If your partner would leave you because you disagreed about this then I don’t fancy the rest of your life. What else will he make you do (to yourself or your daughter) under threat of abandonment if you don’t obey?

You're worried about losing your partner if you don't have your baby's ears pierced?

Stand strong OP, you are her patient. Tell them unnecessary harming of your child will not be happening.

@Blushingm can you verify this please? I’d love to think this is the case but have a fear it’s an urban myth

You don’t “have to do it”, you are her mother, say no!!
I can’t imagine any reputable touching a baby’s ears.

If he'll leave you over ear piercings, he will leave you anyway. Gosh. You need to be able to face down a man. There's going to be lots of issues where he can't have his own way.

What culture are they?

You would rather hurt your baby than stand up to your partner?! You have got to be KIDDING me?! You sit your partner down and tell him in no uncertain terms that your baby girl is NOT going to have holes put in her ears because of his family's wants! If he goes against your wishes, then you know what he thinks, not only of you, but of his daughter and you have a massive problem going forward. What else are you going to allow your daughter to go through in order to placate your partner and his family?

Why isn't your daughter your number one priority? She cannot say no on her behalf. You are her mother, no-one else comes before her and her well-being.

If your partner would leave you over piercing your baby’s ears then you have much bigger problems. You’re her mum. You’re in charge.

I just kept saying no

Which bit of this isn't clear?

Every time it was mentioned I explained calmly and nicely that I was uncomfortable with it. I also explained that in the UK (and amongst my family and friends) most people disapprove of babies having their ears pierced. I said it might be normal for them but it's not culturally normal for us. I said I was worried about her pulling on them and getting infections. I was not at all emotional about it - just calmly explained the several reasons why I was against it. I also promised to do it when she was older, if she wanted to. They weren't happy but they're reasonable people and just had to accept it. They were very pleased when my daughter had them pierced on her 9th birthday. They love buying her earrings now.

If your partner will leave you because you refused to mutilate your baby, then you should want him gone.

No it's still legal.

It looks awful.

when I see babies with earrings I do judge the parents for putting holes in their babies ears.

sorry, but I do

Your priority should be your baby. Advocate for your baby.
If he's willing to ditch you both over this then he isn't really worth having in the 1st place.

Stand firm and say no.

Tell your dh to go and get his ears pierced if it’s that important to him and tell him it’s not traditional to do it in your family.

child over partner every time

I also wouldn’t be leaving my dd with him alone or his family in case they take her themselves. I work in early years and the amount of babies/toddlers who have ripped their ear lobes or have caught their earring causing it to bleed is too many to count.