Traditions in his family are weird, If I have to do that. I will do it myself!!!

[newmumy2022]

My partner's family tradition is weird.
Must have had earrings in my daughter's ears when she was three months old.
I was resistant. But if I really had to do it, I would do it myself.

Is there anyone in or around Liverpool who has done Baby ear piercings?
Any good places to recommend?
And what kind of earrings should I prepare?

I wonder if maybe this kind of mini earrings could fit?

https://www.trendollajewelry.com/collections/nap-earrings/products/trendolla-king-crown-earrings-ball-back-earrings-nap-earrings

Help!!!
FFFF!!!

"I don't care about baby ear piercing"

Aren't you lovely....🙄

I don’t care if it’s ‘traditional’, any non-medically essential bodily mutilation of a baby or child is wrong.

No.

Just no. There will be so many more things like this in the future if they’re so adamant so you need to gain some assertive responses and the respect of your partner, NOW.

if he doesn’t respect you it’s game over.

FGM and circumcision are really not the same though

I mean not the same as ear piercing

This has to be a wind up. It’s child abuse.

I think the MN trope "No is a complete sentence" applies here.

@Fraaahnces I had the same BS about circumcision with my DH's family. My DH is a medical doctor but seems to be lobotomised when the IL's make demands. The best they could do was "DS will be ridiculed in [home country] if he goes to the public baths". That's okay, said me, because he'll only even set foot in that godawful shit hole over my dead body. A diplomatic incident ensued, but fortunately nobody lost any genitalia.

My best friend is Spanish and has her’s done as a baby now as an adult her earring holes are so close to her head she can only just manage studs. Putting a hole eveningly as a baby is one thing wait until that ear grows hole not so eveningly anymore.

OP, an acquaintance of mine had her daughter's ears pierced when she was a baby. The baby kept fiddling with/scratching at one of the earrings, even when my relative put plasters over (she could get them off in five seconds flat). They ended up bleeding and infected (did you know babies are grubby little things??) and she spent two days in hospital having IV antibiotics for suspected septicaemia.

Ear piercing of young babies/toddlers is very common in my family but there is no way in hell I'm getting my daughter's done. If she decides she wants them when she's older, fair enough. But I'm waiting until she asks me, and can understand the health/safety implications.

It’s your baby, just say no, risk of infection etc. Please stand up for yourself and your baby.

This.

Nobody will give you a recommendation for you to mutilate your child. Your concern should be your child not the child abuse practices of your dp. If you give in to this, what other child abuse practices will you give into in the name of culture?

@newmumy2022

do not do it. Don’t. It’s dangerous and above all sets a precedent. If you pander to this, they’ll walk all over you and expect you to do other things. Have they got traditions about what happens when she gets her first period for example? Will they chant and burn things?

”Thanks, your tradition sounds great. My family traditionally don’t get baby girls’ ear pierced, so we will go with that for now, and make sure we have a party and celebrate when she gets her ears pierced aged X”

A discussion that surely should have happened BEFORE a baby was born, no?

Infant ear piercing is hardly a weird tradition in your partner's culture. Surely you knew this would happen.

I suggest you find out what other 'weird traditions' his family are assuming you will adopt.

It send you are determined to do it regardless of any advice given here.

you just want to find a place and discuss earrings?!?!

You are coming across as using his family tradition as a ruse to get the advice you want.

Just be honest if not with us with yourself.

Oh dear god no! I understand it’s tradition but there’s absolutely No way I’d put my child through unnecessary pain and possible infections and the fact that your husband would speaks volumes.

What is it with all these 'traditional' men who aren't married to the mothers of their children ? If he was that traditional there'd be no sex before marriage let alone any children to worry about.

But even if you where married 7 times over, YOU do not have to agree about getting your DD's ears pierced. And if you are soooo worried that he would leave you over some thing like this - then I would respectfully suggest your relationship isn't that strong.

If he does leave you over this - don't let him have access to your child without a court order in place prohibiting ear piercing until she is of an age to give consent herself. In fact I would check out with a solicitor now.

Comparing to FGM is frankly disgusting. It’s clearly not that. I personally wouldn’t want my babies ears pierced, so can understand your reticence but it’s totally okay if you decide this isn’t the hill you want to die on. It’s not child abuse.

So, it's not a particularly weird tradition.
Some babies are my partner's family did the same thing.

As a mother you need to advocate for your child. She does not need her ears pierced.

Please try patenting for yourself rather than being an absolute doormat to the demands of a family that are treating your child as some sort of emotionless automaton or doll. Parents advocate for their children as individuals until they see able to express their own wants and needs. You need to pull up your backbone and make it clear you are going to care for your child's welfare.

So, are you understanding the dangers? Are you going to protect your baby from this?

I do think anyone will do it before 6 months.

It should be your decision. Well, no actually it should be the baby's decision, but as babies can't make their own decision you have to make it on her behalf.
Is it worth putting her through the pain?
Even with the right care they can still get infected or their delicate little earlobes can be injured.
My daughter was twelve when her earlobe swelled around the butterfly bit at the back. It was completely embedded (literally happened overnight) and the medical procedure to get out wasn't pleasant. She let her piercings heal after that as it caused her so much distress. Granted it's rare, but I know two other girls who this happened to!
Imagine it happening to a young baby!

If you give in on this op, where does it stop?
She is as much your dd as she is his and if he doesn't like it he can get to fuck.