Traditions in his family are weird, If I have to do that. I will do it myself!!!

[newmumy2022]

My partner's family tradition is weird.
Must have had earrings in my daughter's ears when she was three months old.
I was resistant. But if I really had to do it, I would do it myself.

Is there anyone in or around Liverpool who has done Baby ear piercings?
Any good places to recommend?
And what kind of earrings should I prepare?

I wonder if maybe this kind of mini earrings could fit?

https://www.trendollajewelry.com/collections/nap-earrings/products/trendolla-king-crown-earrings-ball-back-earrings-nap-earrings

Help!!!
FFFF!!!

This poor, poor child. A mother that won’t protect her and a father that would dump her mother and screw her over for refusing to obey him/his family and hurt her baby. The poor kid has no chance.

If you get it done, go to a piercing / tat shop or a Dr. Don't let some some random person who was trained in 6 mins stab her ears. There are a lot of cultures that do this. Right or wrong , it's their culture and I'm not going to say it's weird. I know lots of people who do it practically at birth so by the time the baby can touch them, they are healed.

For those saying it's weird, well it's really not. It's extremely common in many cultures and honestly less painful for the baby than circumcision for boys, which is totally appropriate too. For those saying they don't believe in it because of consent, cool, you do you. However, if a parent chooses to get their babies ears pierced, they are not cruel or misguided either, it's totally appropriate. If the child chooses later they don't want it, they don't have to wear earrings and the hole will close up.

The only issue I take, is that you seem like you are being pressured into and don't want to do it. You are the parent, you advocate for your child. Don't do something out of obligation or pressure. Stand your ground. So if that's why you're doing it then remember, "No." is a full sentence. If you really don't mind, then go ahead and find a place highly recommended and clean for it to be done. Don't skimp on material for ears either, you don't want to risk allergic reactions.

It doesn't matter if it's common. Poking holes or cutting bits off your baby for no good reason, when you sit back and think about it is bloody stupid.

There's no need for it.

Hi - Indian woman here (F26) - it is very normal in countries and cultures across the world to pierce babies ears between a few weeks to 1 or 2 years. I had my ears pierced at age 1, as did all of my cousins, aunts, grandmothers, for time immemorial. None of us have had any related issues. Obviously don't use a piercing gun (at any age that's terrible), but piercing at a young age is not 'weird' or 'abuse'. Please stop and think next time before you shit all over other people's cultural traditions with your western-centric views.

First of all, never take advice from strangers on the internet, especially with a decision that should be personal...

Second, piercing a child's ears when they are young is a VERY common practice all over the world. There is no harm in it, assuming you care for your child properly to begin with since you'll also be caring for her ears afterwards until they heal... Don't listen to all these people telling you to ignore your husband's wishes to keep his family tradition alive. I'm not saying you have to do it, or even that you should, but that's a decision the two of you should make together, not a decision you and half the world on the internet should make together.

Third, to kind of show you the other side of this argument, just imagine this: you know good and well if you had told the internet that YOU wanted to get your daughter's ears pierced at a young age because it's your family tradition, and that your husband was the one who didn't want to have it done, everyone here would be telling you to screw his feelings and who cares what he thinks and do what you want... Which makes my first two points all the more important: don't take advice from strangers on the internet and make this decision privately between the two of you.

What's culture got to do with it. FGM and MGM is also 'culture' for some, it's still illegal.

I second this. Indian mumsnetter here and I didn't know any girls growing up who hadn't had there ears pierced at an early age (grew up in a predominantly Asian area). My mum, aunties, grandmothers etc. all had their ears pierced at a young age (around 1-2 years).

As an adult I don't think I know any woman (Asian or other) who doesn't have their ears pierced - so not sure how much it matters about what age that happens.

What is the reasoning to pierce ears so young where it is cultural?

also Indian woman here - born and bred - and had my ears done when I was baby.

not over my dead body will I let anyone put holes into my now 2 year old DD’s body without her consent - for reasons that are not a medical necessity.

Also Indian - and also pierced at infancy - and not for a minute will I even entertain doing it to DD.

so - spare me “tradition”.

For those saying they don't believe in it because of consent, cool, you do you.

Seriously?! So because it's "cultural", it's okay to lop off a baby boy's foreskin and stick holes in a baby girls ears? So, you won't mind if I pop round to yours, pin you down, chop off your labia (just unnecessary bits of skin after all) and then pierce your nipples? I'm pretty sure you'd call that assault. But, hey, consent isn't needed to mutilate somebody according to you, so...

Cultural norms be damned, it's assault of a minor. In some places you can't even smack your child anymore, but chop bits off and put holes in them and that's okay because it's in the name of the untouchable "culture" and going against that is wrong?! I despair!

^This. In my culture we pierce ears really very young. I was a baby when I had mine done. My sister was older when she had hers done but she was still a very young child. I think it's v personal. I see nothing wrong with doing it young. It isn't weird. But if you aren't comfortable then don't do it or be forced to

As an adult I don't think I know any woman (Asian or other) who doesn't have their ears pierced - so not sure how much it matters about what age that happens.

Because it's completely unnecessary & being forced on them?

Yeh may be its being forced on them.

But then I've never really hear grown women say "god I really hate my parents for piercing my ears before I was able to give consent".

I think the culturally norm in this UK is that most women have their ears pierced. So I'm not sure if what age that happens really matters if, in the end, most women have their ears pierced.

To those comparing it to genital mutilation and foreskin removal, no it really isn't in the same league.

I think the culturally norm in this UK is that most women have their ears pierced. So I'm not sure if what age that happens really matters if, in the end, most women have their ears pierced.

I think it does matter that you should be able to choose when old enough tbh.

I can't see why having pierced ears should become so important that it must be done to babies.

I think that tattoos are more mainstream now as well so might we as well take that decision away & get it done on babies?

@newmumy2022 I think some people might be overreacting to the risk here, partially due to a lack of understanding/respect for the concept of tradition. There is certainly a risk here with piercing children’s ears so early but there are lots of risks early in childhood.

What is more concerning is that you think your partner would leave you over this. Is that really realistic? Due you truly believe he could do that? Is he not a decent person? If he threatens leaving you when you don’t comply to his demands, it’s sounds like there may be other things to worry about in your relationship. Are you certain this man makes you happy? Or does he make you anxious and unhappy? You may be able to work on it if you really have to or want to, but I suggest you need to be honest with yourself about what the real issue is here

culture is not a defense when discussing body modification and consent.

i have done things to my young child without her consent and against her will. I have held my very young child down for a medically necessary, emergency medical procedure because I understood the consequences of not proceeding and she did not. I have insisted on vaccination because I understood the importance and she did not. I still felt horribly conflicted about violating her autonomy. The fact that she is now old enough to rationally discuss the need for these things Is a huge relief.

doing something to your child’s body that is not necessary without their consent is not justifiable. There are some grey areas for what counts as justifiable. For example, not every country follows the same vaccination schedule so it’s not clear that there is a definitive perfect schedule, but ear piercing is never going to qualify as beneficial to the child.

Someone asked why it's tradition for certain cultures to pierce the ears of babies. I only know about Indian culture (I'm British and have married an Indian). It's an ancient religious tradition going back thousands of years - it's one of several rituals that marks different stages of life. There is actually some Ayurvedic science involved too - that area of the ear is an acupressure point and they believed that by piercing there they are stimulating areas of the brain and this will benefit the babies and help proper brain development. They also think it helps other parts of the body too. You can read more here:www.google.com/amp/s/m.timesofindia.com/life-style/health-fitness/health-news/the-science-behind-ear-piercing-and-other-traditional-beliefs/amp_etphotostory/69924553.cms.
I do think it's a little harsh that people are saying it's barbaric and child abuse without understanding the reasons behind it. I myself chose not to pierce my daughter's ears when she was a baby, however I don't view it as child abuse. Boys ears are often pierced too at a young age.

But sometimes “tradition” and “culture” does not necessarily mean it’s a good thing. A lot of bad things have been done and are being done in the name of tradition and culture, throughout the world. I am not going to respect a bad practice because it’s been done for thousands of years.

How is there no a risk that a baby could pull out the earring and swallow it? Are they somehow less easy to prise apart than adult ones? It just seems a massive risk.

Yes but I'm just saying they believe there are health benefits to getting it done so it's not seen as a bad thing by many people. I think the child abuse allegations are taking it too far.

What is the reasoning behind this ‘cultural tradition’ of stabbing holes in a tiny defenceless baby? What does it do? What does it achieve? Does it connect you to a higher power? What?

Sorry, it’s believed to be linked to health benefits??? What would those be?

I posted a link to the supposed health benefits a couple of posts up. Here it is again. www.google.com/amp/s/m.timesofindia.com/life-style/health-fitness/health-news/the-science-behind-ear-piercing-and-other-traditional-beliefs/amp_etphotostory/69924553.cms

I just created an account so I could reply to your post.
My ears have been pierced since I was 6 months old and my cousin was 3 months old.

I support piercing a baby's ears because I don't remember it. My ears have been pierced my entire life. I don't know anything different and I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

I suggest going to a tattoo parlor. They have all the proper tools, are extremely clean, and very professional; the chance of infection is very low. They will also have hypoallergenic earrings, which are best for first time piercings.

Do not do it yourself or take your baby to one of those places (like Claire's) in the mall; piercing guns are awful and the chance of infection is extremely high.

I think the best ages to have ears pierced is 6 months or less, or 10+. Both age groups are less likely to touch their ears and/or mess with the piercings, so the chance of infection is low.