Traditions in his family are weird, If I have to do that. I will do it myself!!!

[newmumy2022]

My partner's family tradition is weird.
Must have had earrings in my daughter's ears when she was three months old.
I was resistant. But if I really had to do it, I would do it myself.

Is there anyone in or around Liverpool who has done Baby ear piercings?
Any good places to recommend?
And what kind of earrings should I prepare?

I wonder if maybe this kind of mini earrings could fit?

https://www.trendollajewelry.com/collections/nap-earrings/products/trendolla-king-crown-earrings-ball-back-earrings-nap-earrings

Help!!!
FFFF!!!

Just go to a piercing/tattoo shop.

My DD had hers done at 3 months old with a sterile needle as opposed to a gun. She cried as it was going through but as soon as it was done, within seconds she was smiling as if she didn’t even remember what happened. No infections and no scratching/tugging at the ear.

I think the shop I went too used steel earrings so there was never any need to change the earrings as dirt doesn’t build up behind the earring back. I just washed it with salt water for the first month or so.

I’d recommend a place that uses a needle and not a gun. You also don’t sound like you want to do it so you shouldn’t be pressured into anything you’re not happy with. I will say though, if you’ve had a baby from a different culture to you then you should know what sort of things they do in said culture such as ear piercing/circumcision etc and whether you’d be happy with that or not

@newmumy2022

what do you mean then Op - you are gonna get baby’s ears peirced?

It's a good question! Jewellery is such an ancient thing that it's probably an incredibly complex answer.

Indeed although part of me can't help thinking it's to do with looking "pretty/female".

My niece had hers done at 3 days old ( Vitenamese mum). I've no idea why BIL did not put his foot down, can only think he must have thought it was fine too.

Don’t do it , let your child choose if they want it done once they are older

No, please don't do it, it looks so tacky and is cruel to the babies.

If someone pierced my ears without my permission it would be assault, your baby can’t give permission so it’s assault, tell them no and they will never see your daughter again if they persist in bullying, if that fails tell them to fuck off and threaten them with social services.

I don't think it should be controversial to say that you shouldn't cause a stab injury to a child for decoration.

I'm very sensitive to other people's cultural beliefs and practices, but there is a line - and piercing babies with needles falls on the wrong side of it here.

I'm not old-fashioned - love piercings and tattoos myself, but having had both done, I fully understand that these should be for teens and adults respectively.

Eugh

By the way, I hate classism, and try to avoid conscious/unconscious bias and prejudice based on appearances myself. BUT - it's just a fact that many (not all, but MANY) people in the UK will strongly associate babies with piercings with lower-class and low-income families.

If your partner would leave you because you won't get your daughter's ears pierced then you have a much, much bigger problem and a very weak marriage.

If my husband would leave me over something like that I would know that
a) my husband doesn't think much of me, and is looking for excuses to leave
b) I'm well rid of someone who is so controlling and runs away as soon as he doesn't get his own way
c) I would rather lose my husband than be forced to cause pain to my child

Does your husband mean more to you than your child?

Its totally your choice, and to be under pressure is wrong. I can see the arguments as to why you wouldnt - and they are all pretty valid. Just to offer a different perspective for you though. My mother had mine done when I was 6months old, also for cultural reasons. I suffered no complications, love having pearced ears, and have no memory of the event (no trauma, physical or mental, at all from having them done so young). Actually, im pretty grateful i had them done so early that I have no memory and didnt have to deal with looking after them myself. And I figure if I hated them as an adult I could just let them close. <shrugs>

It is child abuse, on my view. Nothing else. No place should be allowed to pierce a baby’s ears.

Fuck your partner’s vile family and their rank, barbaric ‘tradition’.

Defend your baby. Poor little thing.

This...she must be able to consent.

@Mum070322@NeverDropYourMooncup

No, this isn't about any fashion.
My Partner's family has always put pressure on me.
They say they will do it in their traditional way.😭
So, I would rather take the risk getting my daughter's ears pierced at Claire's, and take her there by myself.
Some people here have replied and many have done it before.
And this kind of mini round earrings is suggested to be fine with 3 months child.
www.trendollajewelry.com/collections/nap-earrings/products/bolt-nap-earrings

I am grateful for your reply, I have compared the gains and losses.
I would rather do it myself than have them do it the rough way they did.

My mother had my ears pierced when I was 3 months old.
I’m now in my 30s and haven’t worn earrings since I had the option of taking them out myself.
I absolutely hate that my mum took the choice away from me, I don’t wear earrings yet the holes have never closed up, and I’ll forever hold it against my mum that she chose her wishes over mine.
My own daughter was 10 years old before she got hers done, her choice.

If your family pierces your babies ears without your consent, the correct response is to call the police. But if you think they would do something like that and violate your trust, they should not be left alone with your child. If your husband does it without your agreement, do you really have a marriage you want to stay in?

you are a mother now. Your job is to protect your child. You can’t be passive, you can’t let other people control you. Infant cosmetic body modification is awful, but in the grand scheme of things, ear piercing is probably one of the smaller issues you will face with your family. You are the parent. You make the decisions. Ovary up and do your job.

Some people will attempt to justify inflicting pain, abuse or misery on a child in the name of culture, faith or tradition.
Just say no.

Don't think the OP is reading the room with this one.

I have read everyone's comments.
I can feel the concern of many people and I am grateful to all of you.
However, I am too afraid of losing my Partner, I am a Hong Konger and my visa and job are not guaranteed at the moment.
Losing my Partner means I may lose everything.
So, as I said, if I must do it, I have to do it myself with my daughter.

Do you really believe your partner would leave you if you refused to pierce your daughter's ears?

My worry is that they could ask you to do anything and you would do it because of what you think you may lose. They basically have total control. This is very worrying.

What nationality is your partner? I find it very strange that someone of a culture who's family would insist on putting earrings in a baby hasn't insisted that you get married. Why aren't you married?