Traditions in his family are weird, If I have to do that. I will do it myself!!!

[newmumy2022]

My partner's family tradition is weird.
Must have had earrings in my daughter's ears when she was three months old.
I was resistant. But if I really had to do it, I would do it myself.

Is there anyone in or around Liverpool who has done Baby ear piercings?
Any good places to recommend?
And what kind of earrings should I prepare?

I wonder if maybe this kind of mini earrings could fit?

https://www.trendollajewelry.com/collections/nap-earrings/products/trendolla-king-crown-earrings-ball-back-earrings-nap-earrings

Help!!!
FFFF!!!

This is in relation to the FGM argument.

Is it not the tradition in your boyfriend's family to be married?

Or is it only to hurt your almost newborn baby. Just because there are some weird traditions out there doesn't mean you should do them all, does it?

That went straight over your head, didn't it?

Are they travellers? It is very common within this community.

Personally, if anyone mutilated my daughter there would be hell to pay.

It's a no from me too.

I massively judge parents who pierce their young children's ears.

Thank you. The comparison to FGM and child abuse is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard.

Your daughter doesn’t need her ears pierced, she needs a mother with a backbone, but I’m guessing that’s not really the issue here, it’s that YOU want to get this done.

Exactly this. That was obvious from the very first post when OP showed she had clearly been browsing for earrings.

People are comparing the justification, not the acts. I’ve already explained this above. I give up now.

OP, do not let the fact its tradition make you do this to your tiny baby. There have been lots of traditions throughout history which have been phased out because they are ultimately very wrong.

Though it isnt illegal to pierce a babys ears, I cannot for the life of me understand anyone who would punch holes in a babys body, in the name of either tradition or vanity.

Just say to them exactly that. You will not be putting holes in your perfectly perfect baby anytime soon. Once she is old enough to understand and wants to have it done, then you will look into it.

Rinse and repeat.

Adding to Naunet's comment above - you seem to want this done. Your poor little baby - with a mother who puts her own ease and comfort (not going against wishes of other people) before her child's welfare. Instead of selfishly protecting your own interests, you should be protecting her from child abuse, which is what this is as it is without her consent and potentially harmful. I despair. Grow a backbone ffs..

I get the feeling that OP actually wants to do it and is after recommendations but is blaming the father's family take the heat off herself...

I agree!

OP you sound like a spineless twat.

It’s an anonymous forum - just ask where to get babies ears pierced as you want your baby’s done.

When you start a thread implying you’re being forced to hurt your child when you don’t want to - then of course you’re going to get stronger replies.

If this is about his family's cultural traditions you need to decide whether you're going to blindly accept ALL of their traditions going forward or whether you'll assert yourself when you're not happy with what's being asked of you. As I said, I married an Indian. 99% of the time I'm happy to respect and acknowledge their religion and traditions. For example, my children don't eat beef (fine with me, I'm a vegetarian anyway), my children are sometimes taken to the Hindu temple. This is all fine. I like what I know about Hinduism and I want my children to learn about their roots, about India about Hinduism. However, there are aspects of my in-law's culture that I don't agree with. In these cases I have to act as advocate for my child. I am their mother. If I don't stick up for them when I feel something is wrong then who will? One of the things I disagreed with was getting my daughter's ears pierced as a baby. I didn't care if they got upset, I was just not comfortable with it and I felt it wasn't in my daughter's best interests. I had to stand up for her even though I'm not an assertive person at all and I generally avoid conflict. Another thing I disagree with is that in their culture the family wealth is inherited by the son. The logic is that the daughter marries in to another family and so inherits the in-law's wealth. I don't agree with this either so my son and daughter will get 50/50 when we die. Another tradition I disagree with is that the in-law's live with their first born son (my DH). I'm sorry but no! I love them but this won't be happening. If your DH is from another culture you will keep coming up against these differences over the years. You simply can't always give in because you don't want to upset them! You need to stand up for your children if you think something is not right. As I said to my in-laws "I respect your culture but I have my own culture too. Sometimes there will have to be compromises".

It's culture, it's tradition. To question it is like you are against tradition @newmumy2022 . What did your family say in response?

The mother's decisions and traditions trump those of her in laws. Don't twist it around to imply I said something I didn't.

OP you do realise that it is very likely that your DD's ear piercings will end up lopsided when she is older? It's extremely likely that her ears will not grow symmetrically and the piercings will be uneven. I know because I chose to have my ears pierced around age 7 because near all the girls in my class had pierced ears. I now have multiple piercings in one of my ears to distract from the fact the original piercings don't line up!

What a strange thread.

Almost as though the OP has an ulterior motive DM style

Baby, new mum who (apparently) can't say "no", controlling DP, being forced by HIS family to do something... tick tick tick tick... only needed it to be twins for a full deck

Don't feel pressured. Personally it would be a big fat no from me. Unnecessary to pierce a babies ears.

reputable piercers will likely not do it.

I don't get why some cultures see it as traditional? They always say tradition but no one can actually give a clear reason why it's actually needed? It's all for vanity imo!!

the worse thing is when people say 'well it's no different to vaccines'. It is!! Vaccines serve a purpose, piercings do not.

break tradition!

I can't see what's nice about a baby having ear piercings anyway. They are cute without!

Don't be so gross. Your poor baby

For those of you who don’t understand the FGM argument.

I’m not sure if you’re being ignorant or simply refusing to accept the similarities as you chose to have your baby’s ears pierced and don’t want it to be likened to something that you disagree with.

FGM is a tradition in some cultures just like ear piercing is.

I have had personal experiences where FGM is pushed upon you by people claiming it’s their tradition and culture and that it’s offensive to reject it or say it’s unnecessary to the child.

Ear piercing is exactly the same.
Parents are being guilt tripped into hurting their children because it’s ‘tradition’.

If someone wants something done to their child then (wrongly or rightly) that’s their choice.

But absolutely no parent should ever be forced into hurting or mutilating their children because of so called traditions or cultural practices.

It's quite common in Ghana as well, I know people from Ghanaian families/ancestry who had theirs done very young. Not sure why it has to be at three months, though?

I had mine done at seven, and cried so much that my mum had to make me get the second one pierced because I was ready to walk out of there before that happened again. And I was old enough to decide I wanted to have it done!

Piercing a babies ears is completely irresponsible. You should be ashamed of yourself for even entertaining this.

“cultural” tradition or not. Absolutely sickening.

Me too. I thinks its awful. As a PP if you stick unessessary needles anywhere else it would be abuse, bit the years are ok? Also my dc both held/pulled their ears when tired and teething so there's a risk she will pull the earrings out/get infection. I would never put a man before the well being of my child. But my dh would never force me or the dc into something either.

I'm gonna say it, it looks common as muck!