Much younger woman staying with us...

[Idontknowwhattothink]

I cannot believe I am typing this.

Myself, my partner and our small child are living together. I am early forties, he is early fifties.

We have a woman in her early twenties staying with us from another country. She is very good looking and is scantily dressed most of the time. This is not me being jealous, this is a factual observation. There is no way he has not noticed she is very attractive looking.

My partner is handsome, likeable, warm, engaging. But... He's not George Clooney and he's old.

This is the weird thing. If it wasn't so ridiculous I would be sure she had a giant crush on him. She really seems to always want to spend time alone with him, gazes at him constantly and seems somewhat besotted.

But surely surely not?

@Idontknowwhattothink i don’t understand your breezy attitude. I hope this is a wind-up. You don’t sound like you care about your family at all.

It doesn’t matter whether this young woman is being accidentally or deliberately provocative. The reality is that her behaviour is a threat to your happy home life. What are you waiting for? Give her a day’s notice and tell her that in the meantime she can stay in the generous rooms you’ve allocated to her - not the main household.

This setup sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

All sounds very odd!

Friend had a similar situation but she was the au pair. Coming down in the morning wearing a negligee type of thing. V v similar to what you describe. She had her on the first plane home. He was much older but attractive and rich. She just didn't want the trouble however unlikely something maybe
She is being incredibly disrespectful.

Next time she pats the seat next to herself invitingly, plonk YOURSELF next to her saying "How lovely" with a big grin at her.

Take any opportunity to laugh at her. She's testing her pulling power.

Or just say to her FFS stop trying to be a femme fatale. It's really not appropriate to flirt with a man old enough to be your father, your host, and married. Pack it in.

I would definitely tell the company that you can't put her up for an extra week. They should have checked with you before offering her another week so they can't complain if you can't accommodate her.

Whatever is going on, she is making both you and your husband feel uncomfortable in your own home. Grit your teeth, get through the original period, but make it clear to the company that they need to find her other accommodation beyond that date.

This.

I assume you fancy him so to find it bizarre that other women would is, well, bizarre. Frankly.

she might not "fancy him" but she might like the power play and validation

She’s trying to entice an affair.
he gets rid of you, marries her then she lives in the U.K.
hes old and will die soon and she’ll get the money.

sound far fetched?
don’t be nieve…

I would not be happy with this at all,
If she stays the extra week, then do tell her boss you cant accomedate her and tbh, I wouldnt allow anyone else to stay either- not least as they are a stranger and around your children.

I am genuinely surprised at the number of posters who find this unfathomable. There have always been younger women who are attracted to older men but there is very much a ‘daddy’ ‘thing’ on social media at the moment so I’m afraid I’m not surprised in the slightest. Hope you can avoid the extra week, OP.

I don't know why you think it is so odd. Lots of young women are attracted to father figures. It's not unusual at all.

If I look back to being in my 20s - I can certainly believe that she's just enjoying flirting and seeing how far she can push it. In theory thats fine but clearly not if the other person in question is married and she's staying in your house. I suspect she doesnt actually really fancy him but it's a bit of fun. I think it can also sometimes be hard when you're young and female - most older blokes only relate to you in one way even at work. So it then becomes the dynamic you're used to and one that carries on. Yes, it's destructive and I think that in your case I would just come up with some accuse as to why she cant stay on longer.

Do you get paid to host her?
She fancies him, you said hes good looking. Lots of young women go for men twice their age, and she probably does want your life.
But how has she not picked up on him constantly avoiding her?

She's definitely testing her 'pulling power'.
Whether there is an ulterior motive to her actions,... guess it depends on her upbringing.

Has her boss called yet to ask you to prolong the arrangement?
I would make up an excuse and say she can’t stay, you’ll have other guests staying with you. As others have said, she’s being incredibly disrespectful towards you and you don’t have to tolerate that in your own home.

That was my first thought, old in mid 50s! He'd be a toyboy to me. For all you young women, after 30 time seems to obey different laws of Physics, goes by much faster.

There is no way I would be putting up with this silly arrangement once this lady started behaving so inappropriately in someone else's home. Could care less where she goes, and would be telling the company they need to sort proper living arrangements asap.

It's her gazing at him like a lovestruck puppy, jumping at every opportunity to be alone with him and seemingly unfazed when he declines, always diving to sit beside him or patting the seat beside her

What's her English llike?
Because I'm wondering what's wrong with someone - preferably your DH - saying to her "Please stop, your behaviour's completely inappropriate"

Probably it would create a frost but she's going next week anyway, and you just might prevent her doing this to her next hosts

Oh please . you don't have manners and respect in someone else's home?

Isn’t the advice never to bring another woman into your home? It’s a tale as old as time.

Especially a young attractive women.

DH represents Daddy. The loving tolerant all-forgiving male provider.

She probably mislaid her real Daddy a long time ago, so will spend her life as a needy little girl looking for Daddy/safety/ male protection/ support in every man she meets.

Ask the family history, but get rid of her anyway.

Time for her to go....it's your home...if it makes you uncomfortable, she can go elsewhere..

She sounds terrible and has boundary issues. She's being very rude flaunting her youth and looks around him. I'm much older than your husband and I understand what you meant by him being 'old'.

My parents were in their mid-80's when they had a much younger female in the house for a while. My mother told me the 'girl' kept touching my dad. Stoking his arm and such. Mum didn't like it at all and told me, "the old fool likes it". My mother didn't suspect they were about to have an affair, it was a boundary issue.

I was there when the young woman visited. She immediately sat next to him and start rubbing his arm and snuggling! She went as far as running her hands through his hair saying he needed a hair cut. He never went bald and had longish hair. She never came back after that.

@SwedeCarrotLime , what's this on social media? Wasn't aware of that...