Much younger woman staying with us...

[Idontknowwhattothink]

I cannot believe I am typing this.

Myself, my partner and our small child are living together. I am early forties, he is early fifties.

We have a woman in her early twenties staying with us from another country. She is very good looking and is scantily dressed most of the time. This is not me being jealous, this is a factual observation. There is no way he has not noticed she is very attractive looking.

My partner is handsome, likeable, warm, engaging. But... He's not George Clooney and he's old.

This is the weird thing. If it wasn't so ridiculous I would be sure she had a giant crush on him. She really seems to always want to spend time alone with him, gazes at him constantly and seems somewhat besotted.

But surely surely not?

That's so odd to me. When I was 23 it literally felt like the world was waiting. I wanted travel, adventure, wild nights out, to kick ass at my career. Not sitting indoors with middle aged people potty training their child.

Why haven’t either of you said anything to her or to each other about this? Younger woman finds older man attractive shocker! What you felt at her age is totally irrelevant.

Yea Me too
Older than you by 4 years but some seem to write us off .

😆 Exactly!
Call me cold-hearted (and I say this as the daughter of a refugee who relied on the shelter and compassion on others), you need to shift her, OP.

Yes, that's the puzzler...

Maybe she's scantily dressed because it's been baking hot in most of the UK for the past month? I've certainly not worn any more clothing than I have to.

I don't think a younger woman finding a 50yo man attractive is that weird. If she's making him feel uncomfortable with her behaviour (as opposed to her clothing) and if you had to live with her medium- or long-term then it'd be worth saying something, but with a week to go it hardly seems worth it. And whether he finds her attractive or not, your husband doesn't seem interested in pursuing her which is the important thing.

I'm not writing anyone off. DH is very attractive. Plenty of women I'm friendly with in the area make jokey remarks to me when they see him out running or playing sport. But come on, thirty years older - that is old as f*.

I will say it to him when I get a chance. I have been working mad hours the last week or two. Plus I don't really care.

I don't intend to say anything to her unless things get worse. She will be gone soon. I'm not having her back next year.

Well he seems like he’s a decent and honourable chap. He’s picked up on the vibes and is making sure he’s not alone with her.

I, as a young(ish) woman would not be scantily clad when sharing a house with a middle aged man who I don’t know very well, even if it is hot - it just has the potential to be a bit awkward.

Plus I don't really care.

Sounds like it...

Oh! Didn’t see your last post, OP.
She’s leaving. Good riddance. 😆👏
Your DH certainly has had a Lomi Lomi ego massage! 😁
She’s got a bit of nerve… chutzpah, as my auntie would say.
I have to be honest, I don’t remotely understand 23 year olds with daddy issues. I had a 30 year old boyfriend when I was 23 and I thought he was ancient!

🤣

I know! Me too. 🤑

Do people still say 'scantily clad' 😂? Sounds like a Sun headline

I think she probably has a crush on him .You say he is attractive for his age.Many young women like older men (obv half attractive not beer bellies!) He may seem younger if he looks good. Your DH is being respectful and decent .If she is leaving soon then no big deal .Maybe think twice about accepting again .

I suspect I might have walked around half naked in those circumstances but purely because I was oblivious to who I was living with. The suggestion two old fossils would be bothered might not enter my head.

The clothes are just the way she dresses at home I guess. It's impossible as he has eyes that he hasn't noticed how goodlooking she is.

It's her gazing at him like a lovestruck puppy, jumping at every opportunity to be alone with him and seemingly unfazed when he declines, always diving to sit beside him or patting the seat beside her. Daddy issues perhaps, I dunno. Just plain weird.

Good job she's leaving soon.

I'm glad your DH seems to be repelling the advances, but I would be minimising time they spend alone if you can, and not taking anything for granted.

Someone said she wants your life- or thinks she does. I get this from people as well - mostly about our dog rather than DH. People seem to envisage we have some middle class idyll with the perfect house and perfect dog. They've clearly not been inside .

I agree @rookiemere. I'm glad she's off soon. I cannot imagine him cheating on me (even though this forum is littered with threads starting with a similar declaration) but I guess lots of relationships begin in dubious circumstances.

This is really odd. Taking in a woman you don’t know - if she is here on business why on earth isn’t she in a hotel??

how awkward!

dod the woman know she was going. To be housed with strangers?

Your partner is in a horrible position and is clearly trying to distance himself from this lassie who obviously makes him uncomfortable. I have a lot of sympathy for him and I think you need to tell your friend that they have to find somewhere else for her to say for her last week.

She might not fancy him. She might well think of him as a 'safe' man to get male attention from.
I used to have 'father figure' crushes loads when younger. Its a nice energy to be around.

You could be right though and shes making a play for him. Is she friendly to you?

Yes. It's in line with what the company does - they place people with local families so the same age children can play and learn each others language.

Our house is nice, spacious and can afford privacy so he asked would we take her. We don't have any guests organised so I said yes no problem.

We see much more of her than I expected. She has a nice airy work space, bathroom, living area and bedroom. I assumed being the age she is that she would not want to be stuck spending time with us.

My parents have live in housekeepers. There was an attractive young lady many years ago when I was still living at home. She was really very pretty.

My mum had a family emergency and went away for a month, leaving my dad, the housekeeper, my brother, and me. The housekeeper saw that as her opportunity to hit on my dad, not sure if she wanted the attention or wanted my dad, but it was so obvious what she was doing that even my then teen brother noticed it. My dad did all he could to avoid her, including staying out all day and every day to stay away from her. Meal times she would cook for my brother and me, but then insist she will eat later with my dad…so my dad would eat out before coming home from work.

My dad does have an eye for the ladies, but he’s very loyal to my mum. So it is very possible that your DH is doing similar.

You know, it could totally be this too. 100%.

I remember being out with my mother's friends and afterwards she made a comment about one of the husband's spending the entire evening speaking to me and musing if the wife was put out. I wasaghast that anyone would think there was anything romantic in the intention.

Good lord.

Did she stay on after your mum returned?

It is really strange. We have two couches. Myself and DH sprawl out on one each when watching TV. I watch TV every few days. No matter where DH and I start sitting, she always appears and squeezes in beside him. If he has his legs elevated her (mile high and in teeny tiny shorts) hers will be plonked beside, toes nearly touching or else curled up beside them on the couch. Inevitably he will immediately move and say something in a jokey tone like "I should be sitting beside my honey" and come join me. I'll be disturbed then at some stage she will ask him to sit back with her. It's hard to explain but it's bloody weird. Then always jumps at any opportunity to get alone time with him despite him clearly avoiding. I've noticed her gazing at him a lot. I cannot fathom what is going on with her.