Much younger woman staying with us...

[Idontknowwhattothink]

I cannot believe I am typing this.

Myself, my partner and our small child are living together. I am early forties, he is early fifties.

We have a woman in her early twenties staying with us from another country. She is very good looking and is scantily dressed most of the time. This is not me being jealous, this is a factual observation. There is no way he has not noticed she is very attractive looking.

My partner is handsome, likeable, warm, engaging. But... He's not George Clooney and he's old.

This is the weird thing. If it wasn't so ridiculous I would be sure she had a giant crush on him. She really seems to always want to spend time alone with him, gazes at him constantly and seems somewhat besotted.

But surely surely not?

Most 20 year old walk around half naked these days so I wouldn’t be too worried. She certainly could fancy him— in other countries it’s not only normal to marry an older man it’s standard (I’ve lived in these countries I’m not being xenophobic)
if she’s gone in a week I’d ride it out and not
have a young visitor to stay with you again. You obviously aren’t super solid in your relationship to do this.

If she's really as obvious as you say I would have got rid of her ages ago. That's so disrespectful and rude

You obviously aren’t super solid in your relationship to do this.

It wouldn't even be about that for me, it's the disrespect she's showing the OP in her own home where that woman is a guest that would piss me off

In the 1990s I was asked to help a 19 year old from Eastern Europe to come to Britain as an au pair. There were a few minor problems with both families who employed her but nothing disastrous. Within two years her sister had also arrived here and they moved in with a man to be housekeepers. I met up with her for coffee, wanted to check she was ok and legally employed ( before EU membership, she had an au pair visa) She told me it was fine as she and her sister were going to get the man ( who from memory was late 50s and there was just him) to marry one of them and that sister would then have enough money to look after the other….. I’m sure they weren’t the first, nor the last.

Yep!!
I bet this scheme we have of housing strangers will feed many threads to come.
@Roselilly36

Some of these replies! Sounds like she'd have to be topless and straddling him and suffocating him with her boobs before they'd think: "Oh hang on, maybe she fancies him!"

Time for her to leave - definite no to an extension!

These are the viewing figures for the top sixteen hashtags containing the word ‘daddy’ on TikTok. ‘B’ means billion.

It is very much A Thing.

"Scantily dressed."
Brazen hussy.
Get her tellt to put some appropriate clothing on, preferably ones that button up to the neck and cover the legs, she shouldn't be flashing any ankle!
🙄
sarcasm alert in case anyone isn't sure

I'm sure there's nothing untoward happening but she needs to go.

You can be perfectly honest with your husband about why. (Even make it a flattering joke - you can't believe she can keep her hands off him.)

You can't be honest with her - just say you need the space.

@Shariefa
I agree with you.
However British culture will call this an old fashioned attitude.

She’s not there as ‘help’!

The whole setup with her staying sounds really, really weird.

Are you angling for a threesome OP? 🙂

Next year, if the boss of the company that sent her asks you to accommodate his workers again, specify that the guest has to be a male, and under 30 preferably....

I'd talk to her boss about finding her a new place to stay for the remainder of her time in the UK. Tell him it's not working out and she's making your and your husband uncomfortable with her blatant flirting behaviour.

@SwedeCarrotLime

The point is never bring a woman ugly or pretty into your home.
It never ends well.
If someone's going to cheat they will but there's no need to give it a helping hand.

She's not there as help but the OP needs the money she gets for hosting her - not worth it.

Yes this ⬆️. Her behaviour is inappropriate and disrespectful to you. She is either completely shameless or deluded. Either way, she needs to leave pronto.

When I was in my first office role post my post grad probably about 23/24 there was a Partner in one of the teams I would say he was about 50. We all called him a silver fox and flirted relentlessly with the poor fella!

@TSIFT seriously no women at all !
The issue here is this particular woman - who happens to be young and attractive- is brazenly flirting with the OPs DH. He is repelling her advances.
It therefore hardly seems fair that no female future boarders should ever stay, due to one bad experience.

Sadly I agree

When I was 23 (and attractive) I was attracted to and dating goodlooking, fit men in their late 40s. The oldest being 48. So it’s not that far a stretch to think she would be attracted to him, especially if as you say he is handsome, charming and well off.

What makes you come to that conclusion?

I've not RTFT, I've skimmed at best but I do take issue with you saying early 50's is "old". Is it fuck. I've got an 11 year old and I'm about to turn 53. I'm most definitely not old in any way whatsoever!

"Old" is relative.

When I was this woman's age, men in their 50s definitely seemed old. Ancient in fact. Even the rare men who still retain something of their looks at this age just wouldn't have appealed to me at all. And I don't think I was unusual in that. We're always told that 'lots of women like older men', but I've not seen it in real life, certainly not with this large an age gap. Not saying it never happens, but it's certainly not the norm.