Does anyone else have a husband like this?

[Kanfuzed123]

I know I usually post quite lighthearted things but there’s one thing that’s been getting to me for a while, I’m probably going to phrase this unreasonably or harshly and I’m prepared to get flamed/called out on it. But I feel like my husband can’t do anything. By that I mean without supervision or me having run around and check he’s done it properly after, which he doesn’t take kindly to.

some are minor thing and some not but he just won’t listen. I’ll give you a major for instance, been on holiday and rented a car, putting car seats for kids back in our car, because as per usual I’m watching the kids and cooking (I also have a bad back so it’s hard for me to lift them, bend over and install them) they are isofix (aka easier to install). My fault I didn’t supervise him or check he’d done it properly after. He’s taken both children out in the car since, I got to put kids in car and dc1’s car seat is 6 inches off the bottom of the car seat and dc2 isn’t flush against the back aka they are incorrectly installed, which he refused to believe but it’s f’ing deadly and anyone with eyes could see it was wrong, and no he isn’t visually impaired.

i ask to watch food whilst I feed baby, i come back and it’s burnt black to the bottom of the pan… I say to him I said to watch it, to which he says oh i did, you didn’t say to not let it burn

what’s really got me today, is our online grocery order. I menu plan and he puts the order in, i wrote explicit ingredients and then an acceptable sub… get the order to today and he’s ordered half wrong sodding stuff. I’m honestly at breaking point with it. This is ridiculous right?

I'm just reading this thread when husband comes in and says 'what did you say to make for dinner'

Everything that's laid out on the worktop basically! Arghh!

Truth is it’s not… and I’m at breaking point

Learned social stereotypes often only kick in after you say “I do”

Because they’re two different skill sets, unless you’re a housekeeper/nanny for a living.

if DH thought he was too important why does he take on the majority of housework and childcare?

Together with the laughing at you, his behaviour is chilling. You are a prostitute, housekeeper and financial contributor to his life. Your children are seeing a terrible example of adult relationships when he treats you with open contempt. 😨

Oh it missed that gem from good old @Oblomov22 , such a sweetheart!

like I said, we cooked together back then, he comes from a very patriarchal culture and to the men in his community his like already the most most unmanly man due to the amount he does around the house. And like a pp said, he actually does a lot, probably more than me but it’s not done properly or well.

over time he’s just got progressively more ridiculous

My son with autism will stand and watch while stuff burns in the pan. Is he on the spectrum?

Car seats are serious. I'm with you on that

Some of your other complaints eg he had oven chips instead of cooking roast potatoes, or buying dried pasta instead of fresh..... TBH, I'm less sympathetic there. Not worth fighting over

But, 9 times out of 10, when I see threads like this, the DH has a 'big job' and the OP is a SAHM. I think there is usually more equality where both parties work and earn around the same amounts

Oh fgs

It’s easier on your own than with a maliciously incompetent husband … or at least it was for me.

Warm up the mixed beans in the white vinegar, sprinkle the walnuts on top. Season to taste. Serve piping hot. And hope he chokes on it.

Nope. I had boyfriends like this. I had absolutely no inclination to marry any of the useless bastards though.
Married one that is a grown up, can be relied on and is happy to do his fair share.

The more you take on lovely, the less it allows him to do.

Down tools. Treat him the way that he treats you.

I couldn't prioritise someone who couldn't make the same effort in return.

This!
I divorced mine as well ☺️

Honestly they are breed and there are times... pointing out the obvious seems to be what I do... groan

Option 2…….yep definitely option 2!

Gosh he sounds completely useless, it infuriates me that my husband won't do the washing or cleaning, he does do everything else though and he does all the cooking and food shopping. He plays dumb with the washing, pretends to have no idea and if I do shout at him he does a load he then leaves it in the machine for the fairies to come hang them out to dry or put them in the dryer. I waited a week once for him to move the clothes (not saying anything) they had to go on 3 washes to get rid of the damp smell. Or he will just put everything in the dryer and fry woolly jumpers and printed t-shirts. I thought he was awful but reading this thread makes him look good (I won't tell him though). I feel mad for you!!

Because they’re two different skill sets, unless you’re a housekeeper/nanny for a living.

Housework isn't a difficult skill to learn. Unless you have significant learning difficulties there is absolutely no reason why someone can't learn - having a vagina doesn't make you a natural 🙄
If someone is opting out of housework or childcare because it doesn't fit their skill set is talking shit.

if DH thought he was too important why does he take on the majority of housework and childcare?

Are you talking about your relationship or the OPs? Anyone who is using strategic incompetence to get out of housework or childcare is either spectacularly lazy or thinks it's beneath them. Neither are great qualities in a partner or a parent.

I have no idea why women date/live with or marry men like this or stay with them once they realise how incompetent they are. He sounds like he needs/wants a mummy figure and you fit that role.

Going forward you either:

1. put up and continue as you have been doing, enabling his incompetence or lazy ass ways - many do this for years and grumble about it building resentment towards the man child they have married
2. sit him down and have a grown up chat about the problems in your relationship and sort it out.
3. Dump if you cannot live like this and he doesn't change

So what happened to the burnt food? If you made a new dish and cleaned up, then he achieved the result he wanted with his weaponized incompetence.

Op wanted lasagne sheets as presumably her meal plan is lasagne. So instead of lasagne it’s pasta shapes. Yes she can do pasta bake but why should she have to just because he cba to order lasagne. It wasn’t a sub. It’s irritating if you’ve planned lasagne recipe listed all ingredients and can’t make it unless you go to shop for lasagne. Op’s children may prefer lasagne, she may have planned to freeze some to replenish her emergency freezer meals he used.
Smacks of him doing a shitty job so op adds online shopping to her meal planning and all cooking for the family tasks.

Op I feel your pain. My dh is an engineer (a very good one as he is often headhunted)

So the loo seat is slightly loose. Asked him please could he tighten it. He has his head stuck in his tablet searching for plumbers.
Why????? I kid you not he said the whole toilet will have to come out.
Op you have my sympathy xx

🤣🤣🤣

What's the point of him?

If the only thing he contributes is money, you can divorce the manipulative, lazy, death trapping twat and still have his money.

To be fair if a man said ‘what’s the point of her’ about a woman who wasn’t great at housework/cooking there would be a few choice replies on here…