Does anyone else have a husband like this?

[Kanfuzed123]

I know I usually post quite lighthearted things but there’s one thing that’s been getting to me for a while, I’m probably going to phrase this unreasonably or harshly and I’m prepared to get flamed/called out on it. But I feel like my husband can’t do anything. By that I mean without supervision or me having run around and check he’s done it properly after, which he doesn’t take kindly to.

some are minor thing and some not but he just won’t listen. I’ll give you a major for instance, been on holiday and rented a car, putting car seats for kids back in our car, because as per usual I’m watching the kids and cooking (I also have a bad back so it’s hard for me to lift them, bend over and install them) they are isofix (aka easier to install). My fault I didn’t supervise him or check he’d done it properly after. He’s taken both children out in the car since, I got to put kids in car and dc1’s car seat is 6 inches off the bottom of the car seat and dc2 isn’t flush against the back aka they are incorrectly installed, which he refused to believe but it’s f’ing deadly and anyone with eyes could see it was wrong, and no he isn’t visually impaired.

i ask to watch food whilst I feed baby, i come back and it’s burnt black to the bottom of the pan… I say to him I said to watch it, to which he says oh i did, you didn’t say to not let it burn

what’s really got me today, is our online grocery order. I menu plan and he puts the order in, i wrote explicit ingredients and then an acceptable sub… get the order to today and he’s ordered half wrong sodding stuff. I’m honestly at breaking point with it. This is ridiculous right?

@Kanfuzed123 I keep thinking about your husband .A bit of me thinks that ,as another poster has suggested ,possibly he is depressed .In support of this theory is the way in which his behaviour has changed since you first got together .People can lash out ,say vile things when in the grips of depression .I have a brother like this .
But of course your husband would need to recognise his behaviour for what it is and seek help .
And then there's the not inconsequential matter of regaining your respect and affection .With children to raise I know from experience that the additional work of raising an adult rather than being able to rely on them for practical and emotional support is an ask too far .

I think he could be yeah, sometimes he’s just vacant, staring off blankly into the distance and when something goes wrong (ie one of the kids is sick, particularly the eldest) he’s on a downward spiral for days. He’s started some counselling lately actually, so maybe it is all tied to that… I don’t know.

I'm a little spooked by the similarities between your situation and mine!

My experience with good counselling was that it all got worse before it got better. It was worth it, but painful, hard, engrossing work that made me less present and aware while I was processing it all. My dh is going through that right now and I'm trying to bear in mind how hard it was (not doing very, but trying) because it really was a strange kind of unsettling upheaval.

Talking of being spooked gentleness ..30 mins washing up ,I feel you ! I can rarely reference this as so many have dishwashers .
It's a thorn in my flesh because not only does it take aaages but is so badly done .This is really the only thing he does in the house and he reacts so badly to criticism that I put up with it ,rewashing loads of stuff ,especially the "high risk" items as my son refers to them .Jugs -they have a bulbous bit inside under the spout which is never touched ,glassware which is treated as an item to be given a quick dunk in filthy washing up water at the end .And don't get me started on how the sponge/cloth/scourer are left .

Sorry ,shouldn't be playing top trumps on the OP's thread .

So once a year or so I ask DH to make dinner for DD (3), just went in to find he’d made her an omelette … with nothing. Just a whipped and fried egg. For fucks sake. Isn’t it obvious that won’t fill her up alone? Am I missing something?