To think most men aren’t cut out for relationships?

[Curiousturle]

Most men don’t seem to be good at being partners, let alone the cheating, affairs, constantly on the look out for younger, prettier models etc ? Given half the chance most would shag around and so many look at porn, use sex workers etc. Many are selfish, don’t pull their weight at home etc

Sorry to say but I think most men who are good at relationships are IN relationships: so the ones I’ve met on the dating scene either don’t actually want a relationship or can’t hold one together

obviously nor everyone meets someone at school/college & is then together forever but it seems as common as not

I think the takeout is (unless you a v young -under late 20s/30s for those who’ve been focused on career etc) that decent men won’t stay single long

I thi know the opposite is true actually, most men really belong in relationships and don't thrive without them.

If course most of them are in the same relationships they've been in since they were very young and and aren't out chasing women.

Agree with pp who said the men who are good at relationships are IN them.

I don't recognise most of the stories on here about men using sex workers, porn, having multiple affairs, etc. I'm married to a decent man and so are most of my friends. I appreciate that there are plenty of wankers out there, but there are also plenty of really nice blokes. People are individual. You can't just write off half the human race as being tossers.

A standing penis has no conscience as the old saying goes

I'm cheered by those who say there are decent men who enjoy being equal partners in long term relationships.

I haven't met any of them but I'm glad some people have. 😊

Maybe you’re just a bad picker OP? Never been in a relationship with a man who’s anything like that

I’m jaded after finding out a guy I thought was one of the really good ones, utterly devoted to his partner who seemed his soul mate, has had multiple long term affairs whilst he’s been with her. It has made me think, ‘jeez, if he cheats, anyone can’. And that you really can’t tell the cheaters from the non- cheaters.

I agree. From looking at my friends relationships. I have lovely friends & they don’t have lovely relationships- bar 1 friend who has a lovely guy.

Maybe you just pick the wrong ones, all the male men in my family have been good father, and not to shoddy husband’s, in fact it’s been some of the woman in my family who have gone rough!! Not the men.

there is good and bad in both women and men, is just not that clear cut!!

This

Ridiculous to put 1/2 the adult population into one box

I don't recognise your description of men amongst the men I know.

Maybe you should change your social circle.

Most men I know are in relationships they haven't got the balls to leave - not just the good ones!
The vast majority of men would rather be in a relationship than not. Sexless, loveless, like-less (is that a thing), hence why they have so many affairs.
I can count on one hand the number of relationships of friends and acquaintances that I would consider a desirable relationship to be in.

Have to say I also agree with others. I know plenty of really good men. Yes they're in relationships but not all. I know of plenty of women who have morals in the gutter on the other hand

Taken at face value nearly all the men I know through family and friends have been great partners and dads etc..
Now obviously I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and they’re all going to have had good and bed times but still….

Hmmm I’m not sure, I’d say DH is a very good partner and from what I can tell I think he really enjoys being in a relationship, it seems to have really settled him and given him a sense of purpose.

He’d only really had casual relationships for about 8 years before we met and was very much in the “don’t want to get married camp”, lots of partying etc etc.

He’s not selfish at all, he’s always bringing me food/coffee and doing jobs round the house, he’ll often go to several different takeaways when I’m hungover to make sure I’ve got my perfect order 😂 and to be honest, I’m not sure I’m that nice that I’d put myself out like that when I’m feeling shitty! So he’s probably less selfish and nicer than me.

No affairs/eyeing up other women to the best of my knowledge. No idea on porn as I’m pretty relaxed about that, but it certainly doesn’t impact our sex life if he is watching it.

Maybe he’s a rare breed because I do hear stories of friends partners being lazy slobs.

I know many decent men and I know some not-so-decent women.

I know as many women who are a car crash when it comes to relationships as I do men. In fact, my mum is one of them. After she had an affair and left, my dad went on to a long committed happy marriage. My mum doesn’t seem able to have a well balanced long term relationship as she is overbearing and needy. Some people can be tricky, it is not necessarily a male trait to suck at relationships.

Sorry to say but I think most men who are good at relationships are IN relationships

Exactly. The good ones get taken quickly. That leaves the crap ones who are the ones "on the pull" in pubs/clubs, on OLD websites, etc which are basically are revolving door of the same "kind" of man. Rarely, a genuinely good guy will appear on the dating scene, usually after being cheated on or widowed, and will get taken quickly.

I agree OP. Whilst I don’t know many cheaters etc, any marriage/partnership I have insight into, the woman is doing far more than 50% of her share to keep everything afloat and putting up with varying amounts of bullshit.

I recognise what you've saying about the porn and not pulling their weight at home op. Most of the men I've ever known in any capacity have found it hard to adapt to family life and the compromise that it needs to be a success. Most men will watch porn if they can do it without being found out in my view. Not all men obviously but most. Men need women but most hate to admit it and a-lot even hate women because they need them. This is just my view.

Current DP is amazing - more than pulls his weight with the kids (his and mine) and around the house. My ex was a waste of skin. Neither functions well out of a relationship though.... I agree that most men who are good relationships are already in one. As are plenty that aren't.

Every workplace I’ve worked, the CEO has come into me. Loads of married men too. It’s not industry specific - I’ve worked in loads of different sectors but it’s the same.

My friends and I have come across many married men on online dating. Some of my friends have ended up in relationships with men who were otherwise taken - they didn’t find out until later!

My friends, family and colleagues have had partners cheat on them. It’s not just my experience - but many people I know.

If you look at national statistics, abuse isnt uncommon.

And I never said ‘all men.’ I’d say many, even most.

cushioncovers agree men need women!

It depends on the circumstances. People with addiction issues, impulse control, abusive/ controlling aren't marriage material and they aren't going to have good marriages.

Men are cut out for relationships as marriage greatly benefits them. They hope for regular sex, someone to do all the things he can't be bothered with in life, get to do some photo ops for being a good father. Many want something on the side as they feel they are entitled to it.

Mine seems happy enough, pulls his weight, doesn’t whinge. He’s a decent person all round. They do exist.