Biggest life changing regret.

[Nellynelnel]

Mine is not having children. The wondering of what my life would have been like if I did.

Do you have any life changes regrets? If so would you like to share?

Letting my ex husband well and truly shaft me for everything i ever worked for by letting him manipulate me at my lowest in order for his personal gain.
I lost everything and cannot retire when I should be reaping the benefits of my hard work.
Then finding out after leaving him the biggest lie that he was gay and knew from day 1 of our 25 years of marriage.
I was well and truly used.

How did he shaft you so completely?

Not getting on the housing ladder much sooner
Not marrying the right one
Not saying the things I should have said to a late relative (good stuff - but I'm hoping they knew)
Putting on weight and getting stretch marks

Everything else I can live with

This and I don't think I will ever forgive myself for giving my dc such an awful father . Yes my dc won't be who they are but they would at least have a chance to have a father that loves them like they deserve to be loved

He took half of the marital home, except I put all the equity in as I'd had three previous houses he then took half my inherited house and I didn't touch his huge pension pot. At the time I was under a lot of pressure and agressive behavior from him so I gave in. Had a walked out and rented I'd have been stronger.
He also lied to me for the whole of our marriage and used me as a beard.

Your solicitor seriously failed you

Not my story, but I know someone who - with his wife - bought a lottery ticket every week, without fail. Same numbers, every week.

He heard the lottery result on the radio (this was YEARS ago), and realised instantly that the winning line were 'their' numbers. He drove straight home, on top of the world...absolutely giddy, I think the prize was around £2 million.

You know what I'm going to say - his wife had completely forgotten to buy the ticket.

There are similar Urban Myth type tales along these lines, but I actually know this chap (not his wife), and I know how it unfolded in terms of his life. It really had a detrimental effect on their relationship.

@EarringsandLipstick thank you so much for your kind words x

Oh I'm sorry.so you have support.help?
Does anythi g help,make it ease.
What do you do in life that feels good?can you bring little bits of that into every day to try and make it bearable.
Last year's events.do you have any therapy.
Any techniques you've been given or found for yourself that help?

I'm worried my biggest regret will be not having more kids

Not travelling more pre children
worrying about being alone hence settling down to young
not studying when younger -40’s is hard!
stepping off the property ladder
not having a 3rd child
you live and learn though!

Not keeping an iron grip on my weight. I was slim in my teens and 20s with a great healthy diet and plenty of exercise, and then settled down and basically took my eye off the ball and started indulging in an unhealthy diet and sedentary lifestyle. It has had an impact not just on my looks but my health. I am turning it round now, framing my thinking in terms of ‘I deserve to have a healthy body, and to feel fit and well’ rather than ‘I deserve the cake and wine’ and it’s working in terms of the choices I’m making, but I wish I didn’t have to undo 25 years of poor eating, drinking and exercise choices. My DD (age 16) recently asked me what advice I wished I’d been given at her age and I replied ‘Don’t get fat. Exercise for at least half an hour a day - even if it’s just a walk. Eat for health’.

You’ll do it though.

why? Because you’re not doing what I see time and time again on mumsnet. Posters upset about their weight but giving a multitude of reasons as to why their diet and lack of exercise is not the main contributing factor.

whereas you are completely owning it.

i reckon you’ll do. Properly do it and keep it off.

good luck

Where do I start ...
Not going travelling after finishing school
Not going to uni
Not moving abroad to my dream country ( I wish I had been an au-pair just to get me into a family in my chosen country and help with learning the language and the progressed from there)
Picking my acne in my teens & 20s
Wasting 6 years of my life with a loser, literally
Getting into the debt we have now. It's manageable but we could do so much more if we wasn't paying off this bloody debt every month for the next 3 years.
Putting weight on, I had a lovely figure and still do but without the weight it would be a hell of a lot better than it is now

Not telling him to fuck off sooner, before he cheated, before he was abusive, before he lead me on for a decade and for not being able to recognise my worth. BIG REGRETS!

Being beyond shite with money and eventually being made bankrupt and losing my house. I bought it for 40k and it would have been paid off by now. Instead, I'm renting a housing association property with nothing to leave to my daughter.

Moving away from my lovely static caravan at the coast to be closer to the city and better financial stability.
The park closed for a month and I was pregnant with my first and could no longer just bum at different friends houses during closure. I also wanted to be closer to family, which all went tits up as I confronted them about my childhood abuse and they consequently stopped h

Also....meeting the love of my life who unfortunately for me was married. Wish I'd never met him.

Hit post too soon.
..having anything to do with my daughter.
I've not really been happy since, I hate living inland in a house, this time of year in particular makes me realise just how much I loved my life at the time (though I did actually know that at the time).

Do you have anyone to talk to? Samaritans are great for just having someone to talk to who makes you feel that they care.

You could always post on Relationships?

I hear you.

I dont have a sliding doors moment to look back on. I wish I had been sensible with money, then again im still not now! If anyone has any words of inspiration to help someone who finds it extremely hard (like battling an addiction) to not spend everything they have as soon as they have it - please share!!

As an example I got the £326 cost of living payout just last Friday and its already spent so now I am borrowing £200 off my mum to make it to next Monday (pay day). I've always been like this.

Not going to Art college, parents couldn't afford to send me.

Not going into business with friends who now have a very successful business but we would have had to have remortgaged our house and had a child, too much of a gamble

Not appreciating and spending more time with my husband who passed away 5 years ago very suddenly. He was there in the morning and gone by 2pm that afternoon. You never know whats round the corner

Hindsight a wonderful thing, no point in lingering on what might have been, you can't change it. Look to the future and move on

So sorry.

is it out of the question? What made you change your mind?

But what was it spent on? Presumably you needed the money to pay for the increased cost of living?

Absolutely none of your business.