Opinions please! Is this nasty?

[Deepdown]

My daughters birthday is coming up. My OH, her stepdad said were not getting her a cake because we didn't buy his kids one. Their mother bought theirs and sent it to ours with the kids. So they still had a cake.
My daughter has no one else to buy her a cake only us two, her dad has nothing to do with her.

Is this nasty or is it reasonable?

Child before cock, OP.

Another vote for 'massive cunt'.

Fucking hell he has issues

The ex bought a cake as she knew there would otherwise be no cake … buy the cake and learn from the ex

Wtf? Any man who tried to treat my child like that would be binned immediately.

He would be happy for your child not to have a birthday cake? And he's actually planning it so that she doesn't have one? Wtf.

You don't need his permission to get a cake for your child and also wtf are doing with a guy who thinks he can dictate to you what you do buy your own child?

Yes, he’s a massive cunt.

Please buy her a cake.

YOU can buy a cake for whoever you like. Thats YOUR choice.

If HE decides not to buy his child a cake, thats HIS choice. Its his responsibility not yours. He doesn't get to pin it back on you. Plus he knew they were getting a cake so he didn't HAVE to buy a cake.

Your daughter won't have a cake. This will upset her. This will seem unfair. She doesn't care who bought the cake. All she knows is kids get a cake for their birthday. She isn't interested in parent politics.

The fact HE is playing parent politics at the expense of your daughter says everything. This is potentially emotionally abusive because of the way he is doing this.

The fact HE is TELLING you, you can't buy a cake is clear cut financial abuse.

So the question is, do you want to be with someone who is financially abusive and treats your child as a nuisance and inconvience and he doesn't want to see happy?

Indeed this isn't really about the cake. Its about the fact you are not allowed to spend money on your daughter, because of his arrangements with his ex, which you are not party to and don't have control over and he's quite happy to shit all over your daughter.

Reflect on this.

He sounds massively controlling. I hate men like this. Buy your daughter a cake.

And as a pp said, you don't need permission to buy a cake for your child. You buy your child whatever the hell you like.

When do you think op will be back? 🤔

What's stopping you from going to buy one yourself. It's your child. Your money. By them a cake. If he kicks off over a cake then he's a asshole!

You already know the answer. Who on earth questions this? My children would be devastated if i didn't get them a birthday cake. Even more so if I listened to a stupid cunt and agreed!!

If this is how your partner acts and thinks i think you have much bigger issues 🤨

He would have been told immediately to fuck off. For good!!

Get the biggest brightest cake you can find then tell him he isn't allowed none! Bloody twat.

He's a prick. Buy the cake.

And he is still under your roof ? He has shown you that he doesn't give a stuff about your child so you need to stand up for her and get rid of him.

she’s Your daughter.
It’s totally Your choice to get a cake
stuff what he thinks or says

get yourself to Tesco/ asda / wherever and buy a cake and candles

My mum sat there while my stepdad did this when I was twelve. I’m a mother now and reading this has made me realise she was just as much at fault for not getting me a cake when he said I didn’t need one. I baked my own fucking cake while he was out because that’s the sort of person I am. He laughed at the lopsided, partly burnt result because that’s the kind of person he was.
She said nothing until he started on her a year later. Then suddenly she had something to say because it suited her narrative. Too little too late. I’d been fighting my own battles since I was six.
Grow a pair of tits and protect your child, OP.

“Deepdown” you know he is a bastard. My mum moved a stranger into my house when I was 13 and my brother 10. She was a doormat, emotionally abused by my narcissist father she divorced him and then remarried another narcissist who controlled her and effectively made my brother and I homeless. It started with small things like this. Not buying a birthday cake or not giving a gift because I wasn’t his child. It all started the same. Three years after he moved in he had the locks changed when I was at school and moved me and my brother out. I lived with my friend and her family until I was old enough to house share and my poor little brother went and lived with my narc father who claimed their wasn’t enough room in his house for me to join. My mum let him do this to us. She wanted “an easy life” it’s “easier to just let him do it rather than stand up to him, if you think it’s hard on you, imagine what it’s like for your poor old mum”

my heart breaks for your daughter. Such a lonely way to spend your childhood knowing that if things get tough your own mum will side with a man who gives her no joy or life at all. Women are bizarre sometimes.

He’s a miser. Take it from one that grew up with a miser step dad, put her before him always.

What a nasty man. Your poor daughter.

It's a very sad post.

My guess is never. Wind ‘em up and watch ‘em go.

That's fucking weird.

Denying a child a birthday cake?

Hope you're not considering this and told him to fuck off. Get the largest cake you can comfortably afford

It's not nasty,it's plain cuntish,get rid of him

Get rid of him now. I hope you aren’t married or living together

abusive

don’t let any man tell you what your child can have - ever

a five year old not having a cake because he said so - that’s ducking abuse

Make a cake together - it's not rocket science. Flour/sugar/butter/eggs. She would really remember doing it together - even if it doesn't turn out brilliantly.