Opinions please! Is this nasty?

[Deepdown]

My daughters birthday is coming up. My OH, her stepdad said were not getting her a cake because we didn't buy his kids one. Their mother bought theirs and sent it to ours with the kids. So they still had a cake.
My daughter has no one else to buy her a cake only us two, her dad has nothing to do with her.

Is this nasty or is it reasonable?

Are you serious, OP? You have to ask? Horrible man

It's really quite tragic and alarming what some women will put up with just to have a man in their life.

Why are you even asking his opinion? Struggling To believe this is real tbh. I hope it's not.

He sounds like a controlling arsehole. Can you afford a cake OP? X

Why didn't he buy his own kids a birthday cake? Thats his job as a parent. Yours is to look after your own child (and buy a cake if you want to....or a pony...). Its not his decision to make.

Why are you even asking!!!

And are you married?? Because of not, he's not her step dad

What do you think OP? I am interested to know.

Surely the 'fair' thing is you (her mum) buys a cake just as she (their mum) bought a cake?

Or is the issue something to do with him seeing it as 'his' money?

This thread is a good example of why I trust the judgement of the first wife. 8/10 times, there’s a reason why he isn’t in the family home and that reason is him.

This can't be real! If it is stand up and be the parent your child deserves. Of course you should buy a birthday cake!

Poor kid. Just buy her a cake.

You must know it's not reasonable. Buy her a cake; it's none of his business. (Also: his argument makes no sense and in fact supports YOUR plan to buy a cake. He's either stupid or he thinks you are).

It’s very worrying for your daughter that you need to ask.

He’s an almighty twat. I would be getting her the biggest cake and I would also be finishing the relationship. Nasty shitbag.

What a twat! Why didn't he get his child a cake? The fact that the ex wife sent one shows that she knows what he's like, and that she's grown used to compensating for his thoughtlessness. Is he generally tight, or just crap about birthdays? Either way, your daughter deserves better, and if he's not interested in being a part of that then I'd be inclined to show him the door.

Christ on a bike. I'd buy TWO cakes in her favourite colours/themes but I'm contrary like that.
LTB!

He thinks it's OK that his children had a cake and she has none? How exactly does he justify that?

Yes, it's nasty! One child got a cake and the other won't, if he has his way. Do not let this man dictate what you do for your child. He sounds very mean-spirited and more interested in petty trivialities than actual fairness in how the two children are treated.

Id buy her a pony as well. He’s being a nob.

Buy two cakes. One for your daughter's birthday and the other one to smash in OH's face.

This 💯

Nasty. Buy her a cake(and presents).

What's the backstory?

Also: There is no such thing as complete fairness, in this situation. The children have different parents. Even if you and he agree on everything, his child's mother may have different plans. If he's going to be fighting you on something as easy to understand as this (yes, your child should have a cake!), you're in for a miserable time of it. You'll have to be willing to fight your child's corner every step of the way. What a life!