Ye gods it's bleak out there

[Redridinghood22]

Apologies for another OLD thread but I'm really talking myself off a ledge this morning.

Single for approx six months and OLD. Open minded about meeting someone a little different from my usual "type" and so I really try to look for the positives in someone's profile and not discount them straight away. I set myself quite a wide age-range of 10 years in either direction and a fairly wide geographical radius.

All that in mind, these appear to be the options available to me as a 30-something professional woman:

1. Scruffy men in old tshirts and shorts, often with very unkempt and wiry facial hair.
2. Grown men who constantly refer to Marvel, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Disney.
3. The usual cliches who presume that their favourite pizza topping, Uber rating or the fact that they "love to travel" is the most interesting thing about them.
4. Insistence on "being able to give as good as you get" or have "savage banter".
5. Stating that he'll buy the first round on a date provided "the next one's on you". How bloody unnecessary and off-putting. That's surely the point of rounds, no?
6. Moody-faced up-the-nose selfies, with their hoodies up, or photos taken in the men's urinals.
7. Mentioning sex or the devil horns emoji at every opportnity in their profile
8. Stories about how absolutely paralytic they get whilst drinking and stupid things they've done whilst under the influence.
9. Describing their perfect Sunday as recovering from a hangover, Netflix & chill.

As if I wasn't already missing my ex.

Admittedly there are valid reasons why we didn't work out but my God what I wouldn't do to have him back right now with his nice manners, normal conversation, and clean clothes 😭

I need to get off OLD don't I. I just don't know where else to meet people and don't fancy cultivating a male-dominated hobby purely for the sake of trying to meet someone...

Well hello to you @Ohmygoditsgonewrong
I'm impressed by your large cock <batters lashes>

Do you have your own teeth?

Pm me 😉😘

Yes, I read everything you wrote

ANY mention of sex or sexual things in a PROFILE would have me never meeting you

Any intimacy (ANY!) should only be brought up on real dates

Sex is a part of relationship (even short ones)

And reading a PROFILE is not a relationship

If you're 'old fashioned' (drop that too, looks weird) then talk about anything bodily happens when you've actually fucking MET someone

Writing profiles is really difficult and of course different people have different tastes.

FWIW, I swiped left on any man's profile that alluded to sexual activity in any way.

I take it for granted that people are on a dating app because they're interested in intimacy. That doesn't need to be spelled out.

And I'm not interested in shagging someone til I'm really comfortable with them. I rushed into enough crap relationships in the past by not taking time to get to know, like and respect someone first! I want to take my time and want to date someone who is equally willing to take time to get to know me as a person first, not just an anonymous female body to explore.

Obviously not everyone is looking for that. Just trying to explain why some womenor menwould respond this way.

Btw I'm a relationship therapist

So my feedback is really based on having listened to people talk about how they want to be valued or talked to

Remove ALL references to anything to do with the body or intimacy - focus instead on your rich, full life - hobbies, how much you enjoy your job

Normal shit

Oh he's definitely fishing for a pm. Wonder how many dick pics he's been sending whilst he's posting on here 🤔

Tally agree with @sleepymum50
Especially this:-
Its usually considered bad form to hijack another persons thread and make it all about you

Also suggesting on a parenting website that women should be private messaging him 🤢
Thought about reporting, but I guess if there are women on here sad enough to ignore the blatent advertising red flags and go for it, they should be free to

Ok LaurieFairyCake just said the same thing I was trying to word more diplomatically 😂I think her version is clearer!

X-post @MistyFuckingQuigley

And to unhijack the thread.....it's crap isn't it, OP. It's just pure luck as to whether you meet someone decent, whether online or IRL. I lucked out on a dating app and met someone lovely and decent but it's just a roll of the dice.

You've never been to an all you can eat buffet then? Or a bottomless brunch as they're called round here - basically you just eat every single thing in sight until you can't move, then when you can move, you eat every single thing in sight again.

It's not exactly the stuff of romance, but hey, nor is that terrible profile in this thread 😂

For the record :
I haven't pm"d 😂. Fuck that shit I have enough of that on line Mumsnet is sacrosanct!

@SpentTooLongOnUsername 😂😂😂

Bloody women! We deserve what we get!

Oh dear, we've upset a MAN. And not just any man, either. A man who can iron, drink prosecco and sleep in flowery sheets. It's a great loss to the single women of Mumsnet.

<weeps>

Oh no !
No wonder I've had zero luck online . Guess I get what I deserve . 😉
Having said that the one potential relationship didn't post anything remotely creepy but was still a first rate knob 🤷🏻‍♀️

To be fair, you made several references to sex, kissing, hand-holding, the state of your flowery bedsheets, exploring women's bodies

Only one of those is a reference to sex in my opinion.

@Redridinghood22 God it’s Bleak out there

I take it back about the thread being high jacked. It was a perfect and glorious example of what your whole thread was about!

We could not have asked for a better example of everything thats wrong with men.

Smash the patriarchy I say.

My last venture into OLD was a date with a man who had brown teeth and smelt cigaretty despite being a non-smoker. His photo was at least 10 years out of date and he had a closed mouth smile. He'd described himself as business man, who travelled extensively, for both work and pleasure. In reality he was unemployed and didn't even have a passport.

I'm afraid I used my friend's rescue phone call and made my escape.

Thank god someone has finally said this!!

I personally would swipe left on any indirect references to sexual activity, whether it's the devil horns emoji or talking about bedsheets (?!) or kissing.

You're meeting people on a dating app. If you get on well, they will eventually find out the pattern on your duvet cover and how much you like to snog. It doesn't need to be sold up front unless maybe you're both specifically looking just for sex and nothing else.

Until I've gotten to know someone well enough to decide we get on well, I'm not on a need to know basis about anything that's supposed to make me imagine them in bed.

SpentTooLongOnUsername WTF are you doing derailing the original thread?

More importantly why are you seeking advice on your dating profile from the MN Borgs? Is this really the pool you want fish in 😫😫

“I’m a nice guy, you b!tches!”

Didn’t take long for that to unravel did it now?

Jesus wept! Way to prove a point!