Ye gods it's bleak out there

[Redridinghood22]

Apologies for another OLD thread but I'm really talking myself off a ledge this morning.

Single for approx six months and OLD. Open minded about meeting someone a little different from my usual "type" and so I really try to look for the positives in someone's profile and not discount them straight away. I set myself quite a wide age-range of 10 years in either direction and a fairly wide geographical radius.

All that in mind, these appear to be the options available to me as a 30-something professional woman:

1. Scruffy men in old tshirts and shorts, often with very unkempt and wiry facial hair.
2. Grown men who constantly refer to Marvel, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Disney.
3. The usual cliches who presume that their favourite pizza topping, Uber rating or the fact that they "love to travel" is the most interesting thing about them.
4. Insistence on "being able to give as good as you get" or have "savage banter".
5. Stating that he'll buy the first round on a date provided "the next one's on you". How bloody unnecessary and off-putting. That's surely the point of rounds, no?
6. Moody-faced up-the-nose selfies, with their hoodies up, or photos taken in the men's urinals.
7. Mentioning sex or the devil horns emoji at every opportnity in their profile
8. Stories about how absolutely paralytic they get whilst drinking and stupid things they've done whilst under the influence.
9. Describing their perfect Sunday as recovering from a hangover, Netflix & chill.

As if I wasn't already missing my ex.

Admittedly there are valid reasons why we didn't work out but my God what I wouldn't do to have him back right now with his nice manners, normal conversation, and clean clothes 😭

I need to get off OLD don't I. I just don't know where else to meet people and don't fancy cultivating a male-dominated hobby purely for the sake of trying to meet someone...

I think that on the whole it’s quite true. Most “eligible” people probably pair off without online dating.

Not all, but the pool using it will have a lot of the “others.”

I remember a post on here a while ago saying any decent catches will already have a waiting list for when they become single

Clearly I didn't have a waiting list when I threw h out so I'm one of the dregs 😂

I agree with doing it in small doses. It’s easy to get burnt out and depressed otherwise.

Avoid the obvious red flags and give people a chance, like you are doing. I met DP on Tinder after about 4 years of OLD and his profile had one picture, virtually no blurb but no obvious flags. Been together 6 years and he’s a thoroughly decent, honest, lovely, fun, reliable man.

Had to wade through oceans of Lovecraftian horrors to find him though. It really is a numbers game. About 40 first dates, maybe 6 or 7 decent fellas who just weren’t in to me/I wasn’t in to them and the rest were giant walking cliches of DO NOT DATE THIS MAN with about 4 or 5 who genuinely set off my abusive dick radar (previous abusive relationship).

That's a really horrible thought. I haven't a hope in hell in that case

If you sign up for one of the sites that you have to pay quite a bit for you should be better off? I think match is £120 for six months is it? That's enough to put off the idiots and freeloaders

I met now dh on match and we talked for a week, met for a walk and the rest is history.

I did chat to a few other men and went on a couple of dates but never really clicked with anyone.

Dh picture looked nothing like him in person 🙄but I let that go as he's actually better looking than the weird selfie he had posted

Personally I think that is a lovely profile. You are not making yourself out to be anything you are not and there are some great things in there!

3 sleazy mentions of sex in 200 words. Could you possibly shoehorn a few more in so women can easier give you a wide berth?

The one thing I would add is whether or not you have a cineworld/odeon card. Having one means you can go out with someone, talk about the film afterwards and it keeps the cost down of the date. Just in case it doesn't work out.

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

I don't think the mentions are sleazy. It is way better than not mentioning sex at all and then someone sending you a dick pic! Now, that really is sleazy.

I found it a bit much - plus the two added mentions of “bed/sheets”. Just fucking boring imho and either he’s going to bang on (ha!) relentlessly about sex like a dick-pic-sending creep - or he’ll be the type who just wants to gaze into your eyes and whisper sonnets at you when you’re trying to figure out 23 down (11 letters, means cardinal sin).

I dipped my toe into OLD a few months ago after a relationship breakup.

Spent a week moseying through and thought fuck this, I'd rather be single

As it says on the tin, high chance of attention/responses but they’ll be from creepy people

What are these men actually thinking??

I’ve said this to my partner if we split up or worse then I’m getting a dog to replace him. Can. not. be. arsed. I found a good one, I can’t imagine finding another the state of online dating. I’ve a friend at 40 that’s trying to find someone and she has some hideous tales

I wouldn't mind a number 2 from that list.