Ye gods it's bleak out there

[Redridinghood22]

Apologies for another OLD thread but I'm really talking myself off a ledge this morning.

Single for approx six months and OLD. Open minded about meeting someone a little different from my usual "type" and so I really try to look for the positives in someone's profile and not discount them straight away. I set myself quite a wide age-range of 10 years in either direction and a fairly wide geographical radius.

All that in mind, these appear to be the options available to me as a 30-something professional woman:

1. Scruffy men in old tshirts and shorts, often with very unkempt and wiry facial hair.
2. Grown men who constantly refer to Marvel, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Disney.
3. The usual cliches who presume that their favourite pizza topping, Uber rating or the fact that they "love to travel" is the most interesting thing about them.
4. Insistence on "being able to give as good as you get" or have "savage banter".
5. Stating that he'll buy the first round on a date provided "the next one's on you". How bloody unnecessary and off-putting. That's surely the point of rounds, no?
6. Moody-faced up-the-nose selfies, with their hoodies up, or photos taken in the men's urinals.
7. Mentioning sex or the devil horns emoji at every opportnity in their profile
8. Stories about how absolutely paralytic they get whilst drinking and stupid things they've done whilst under the influence.
9. Describing their perfect Sunday as recovering from a hangover, Netflix & chill.

As if I wasn't already missing my ex.

Admittedly there are valid reasons why we didn't work out but my God what I wouldn't do to have him back right now with his nice manners, normal conversation, and clean clothes 😭

I need to get off OLD don't I. I just don't know where else to meet people and don't fancy cultivating a male-dominated hobby purely for the sake of trying to meet someone...

Jeez mate.

You are really really really not doing yourself any favours and you're being abusive now, I'm actually thinking you might be just here to prove all the cynics of OLD correct. But you're too much, way too much!

My experience of OLD? I'm mid-40s, attractive, solvent, slim blah blah, I've met a few interesting guys and some nice ones and had a fairly long FWB and a friendship with some really lovely times and sex (with FWB). However none of these guys were remotely long term relationship material, not for me, and I think not for anyone.
They all seems to have emotional unavailability ( I recognise it because it's something I'd identified in myself and had therapy for) but at least I've been marriages and had mostly LTR my whole life....these guys seemed to be proud they hadn't 'any baggage'. No, the inability to form close relationships your whole adult life is not a good thing!

Oh dear . Point proven !

The minute you say something they don't like the tru colours come out .

Bitter twisted spinster bitches indeed !
Or maybe normal discerning women . ?

Yeah exactly!

Jesus what happened? Women on the thread were called bitter spinster bitches??

@SpentTooLongOnUsername you really don't seem very nice!
Why can't men take any criticism?

I am rather proud of my teeth

People say they are my most prominent feature

😁

Starting to feel sorry for @SpentTooLongOnUsername but not seen the deleted posts... I get the point he was trying to make but still...

It did not make sense without the original quote

He got a bit cross that some of us bitter, twisted, spinsters didn’t want to snuggle under his freshly laundered flowery sheets with him.

Have I pulled @Ohmygoditsgonewrong ?
🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

😏

Our first date can be hanging out laundry whilst we make plans on how to hoover the carpet

Best start off how we mean to go on 😉

Try being my age (60) they are all absolute pigs mostly with their tops off in photos and nasal hair growing down to meet their facial hair.
I'm still attractive, sorted, great job, own home, clean and presentable - none of them are my equal.
Did all the good men get sucked into outer space or what. I only go on there and look to remind myself why I am still single from time to time.

I don't do OLD partly because there is someone who met my ExH online and thinks she's won the lottery. I know what a twat he is, so just leaves me wondering how many others on there are twats too and I just can't be arsed with another twat.

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🥂🍾

Sounds like the first date I've been dreaming of.

It needs to be a daytime date. We can't hang washing out at night, obvs. What with all the spider willies

How about good hard all nighter......

Of sorting out the kitchen cupboards

Every lady's dream

🤠🥳😎

My, you're a catch.

I do declare, I shall be the envy of the whole of mn!

So glad i met dh when meeting people in a pub/ night out was the norm

I've just read the full thread and got more than I bargained for! The random asking for profile advice then kicking off when he didn't like the advice was classic.

The only OL date I ever did I ended up marrying... then divorcing a few years later. I'm in the club of people who are just not going to go there again I'll just stay single. It's best for me and I don't think the men of the world are too gutted about it 😂. Sorry you're struggling to find decent dates out there OP. My sister got there in the end but it was hard work.

@SpentTooLongOnUsername

definitely too many references to sex and the rose patterned sheets thing sounds weird. Also, I don’t know what romantic to a fault means, but it comes across as aggressive. And the responses you are giving on here make it seem like you are using mumsnet to meet women. Its kind of creepy to me. All too try hard.

Im not OLD any more but it sounds like nothings improved. One thing i noticed. So many men took photos from an angle where they are looking down at you, the viewer. Checking out my male friends tinder, so many women took photos where they were looking up at the viewer. It was so weird, I just thought men were clueless at taking a good photo and then I thought its like some visual display of domination and submission between women and men. I mentioned it to a bloke on tinder once and he blocked me 😂 he had a photo where he was looking down.

checks boundary fences

yep, all good. Congrats spinsters - spider-senses still working. Slightly disappointed not to be called a frigid lesbian, but oh well.

I thought women did that to hide the double chin 🤣

Men look down because they don't understand the art of taking a flattering selfie. Women look up because it highlights cheekbones, makes eyes look bigger and yes, as @NAMEchangeOUTOFembarrassment says, it conceals one's double chin.

It hadn't occurred to me it was a sub/dom thing. I look like an ugly version of Bella Emberg if I take a photo looking down at my phone.