New boyfriend forgot my birthday?

[hotnakedgelato]

I've been dating a man for almost 4 months. We have seemingly been crazy for each other (while not moving that quickly) and have a mutual understanding that we are moving into a serious LTR.

My birthday is in less than two weeks. He asked a few weeks ago what my birthday preference is and I said acknowledgement and to be taken out for dinner.

It's been crickets since then, until yesterday I finally pointed out that he hasn't asked if/when I am free. He said thanks for reminding him, he forgot

Interested in views on this

And it is not our birthday for two weeks, yet you are speaking in the past tense. Honestly you sound barking and your shouty responses are not helping. If he has any sense he will make a run for it.

Just break up with him. You are not showing him your Queen Energy by giving him a second chance. He is clearly not a High Value Man. Ditch him for someone who will worship you and go all out months ahead of your birthday and buy you expensive gifts and bow at your feet.

Utterly bizarre thread! I doubt you'll have the same problem next year, op, he'll hardly hang around for a repeat performance of this nonsense.

I really am done with this. What a bunch of trolls.

Sometimes if almost everyone else is perceiving you in the same way, it's worth considering whether even if they're wrong about you, perhaps you're coming across in a way you don't intend / it's a tone thing for example.

You've just been consistently dismissive and snarky, which is your prerogative obviously.

But dismissing the shared opinion of lots of people who don't know each other, so aren't biased, seems pointless when you're the one who started a thread of a discussion forum.

Agreed!
And what the hell is a red pill man??

I'm off for a Google, suddenly feel too uneducated to take part in a thread about planning in advance for a birthday 😂😂

And you didn't ask him or tell him when you're free even though it's you who needs to arrange childcare, not him.

Tell me you're high maintenance without telling me you're high maintenance ...

If we stay together, I would just tell him where to take me in the future because he doesn't understand good restaurants (yet)
The unmitigated arrogance 😂
We have a female Professor Higgins here, I think. I pity poor Mr. Doolittle 😁😁😁

Agree!

You sound very high maintenance tbh.....

👍 this!

You ok hun?

I wouldn't expect fanfare after only four months. That reeks of outsize expectations.

No what you mean is people who don't agree with you.

You obviously have no idea what a troll actually is.

So?

Just because he likes you doesn't mean he owes you gifts and celebrations.

I'll never understand that attitude.

"Requirements" ???

Say a lot, really.

'The best I am going to be able to expect' ... If you are interested in long-term with this guy, relax. You do not know why he hasn't preformed as expected in the birthday department.

If you really think that the behavior he has shown over the past 3-4 months is cast in stone for the duration, and he isn't cutting it, break up.

You are definitely overthinking this. When I quickly read your OP I thought he'd forgotten your birthday. He hasn't and it hasn't happened yet. Relax and take it in your stride.

Hey OP I know what it's like to have been through a bad relationship and trying to readjust how you approach dating so you don't make the same mistake again. It's hard!

I think people are reacting strongly not because they think you should have "no expectations" of men. Not a single person has said that.

They're reacting to your specific expectations in this case.

You were bothered enough about this to create a thread on MN questioning when it should have been a non-issue. And when you feel more confident and settled in the relationship, probably it will be a non-issue to you too.

Your responses make it sound like you think the only problem is that your (very new) boyfriend needs to be "trained" to meet your expectations. But please remember that, FDS crap aside, real-life relationships are with individual human beings, and they require communication and compromise--not just training a partner to meet your expectations.

It sounds like the two of you have resolved things which is great. Hope you have a good time on your birthday.