New boyfriend forgot my birthday?

[hotnakedgelato]

I've been dating a man for almost 4 months. We have seemingly been crazy for each other (while not moving that quickly) and have a mutual understanding that we are moving into a serious LTR.

My birthday is in less than two weeks. He asked a few weeks ago what my birthday preference is and I said acknowledgement and to be taken out for dinner.

It's been crickets since then, until yesterday I finally pointed out that he hasn't asked if/when I am free. He said thanks for reminding him, he forgot

Interested in views on this

Get a grip

Good grief! Loosen up 🤣🤦‍♀️🤣

You’re getting off on creating drama out of a non issue. Too much time on your hands obviously

I hope he dumps you, nasty shallow troll

In your head you’re punishing him for how your ex made you feel. That’s not fair on either of you.

I don’t see anyone being threatened and I think having high standards is healthy and positive. I don’t think this much angst is a sign that you’re ready for a serious relationship.

But I hope your birthday goes as you want it to. I hope you can shake off the damage past relationships have done. He really hasn’t done anything wrong.

Has anyone here read my posts all the way through? I don't understand the way I am being characterised at all.

@hotnakedgelato please ignore all the pick mes on here. Of course you should have expectations of your boyfriend for your birthday.

@portugalq once you understand pick mes, you can't unsee it, right? It wasn't until I decided to expect better from men that I got one who's amazing (other than his poor planning abilities)

@ginslinger thanks!

@hotnakedgelato are you a fellow FDSer?

@portugalq yes - totally life changing!

‘Birthday requirement’, Crikey you sound hard work OP.

Ah so this is a dating strategy?
Like The Rules back in the 90s?
Know your boundaries and your worth?
Well that will explain the slightly unhinged tone we're all picking up on!!

This whole thread is bonkers to me.

I don't understand why, when you discussed your birthday a few weeks ago, you didn't go ahead and arrange a date/childcare rather than leaving him to do loads of guess-work?

I agree you're setting him up to fail and that's not a nice way to treat someone.

Read every post OP, and replied at the very beginning.
My opinion of you has decreased everytime you post.

Perhaps reflect on some of the points made. The majority are saying youre blowing this up out of nothing, you're setting yourself up for a fail etc, you're not doing yourself any favours etc. Perhaps stop being so defensive and listen to them and reflect.

You are pretty demanding and your expectations are over the top. Sounds like you like to punish people who don't do what you want them to do. Honestly, good he sees this early. That he is always going to need to grovel and apologize and never make you happy no matter what he does. People aren’t perfect. You sound controlling.

FDS is a misandry based movement that pushes women to put men in their place and control their own lives by controlling the men.

It gained steam on Reddit for a bit but was pretty much run off the platform by people who were against the blatant sexism and the horrible approach to dating. Not sure where it is housed now.

It is mostly femcels (female incels) who blame all the problems in their world on men.

It's two weeks away - plenty of time to "take action" . Jesus, stop self-sabotaging. There is no reason to be disappointed.

You’ve been in a relationship for a few months and talk about failed relationships in your past; possibly you didn’t plan to be a single parent. Probably a lot of people commenting on your thread are in long happy marriages, so they may see more clearly than you the aspects of what you are doing that are perhaps less likely to create a long, successful partnership. That could explain why you feel you are being characterised a certain way.

Obviously you haven't read all of my posts? I felt upset, considered some of the responses, have decided to just carry on as is with my boyfriend.

All he knows is that I pointed out that he didn't book my time and then when he did do so (with prompting), I said thanks, that sounds lovely.

People here have gone absolutely mental at the idea that I dare expect anything of my boyfriend, even though I was clear from post one that we both see this as the beginning of a serious LTR, and even though he knows that planning ahead is super important and unfortunately essential for me.

He's very nice to me and I am very nice to him. I have accepted horrible behaviour in the past and I find the violently angry responses here bizarre. They seem mostly to centre on the idea that I am horrible to expect my boyfriend to think about and do something for my birthday, after HE BROUGHT IT UP and created an expectation.

People here are also assuming all sorts of crazy stuff about me. I literally have said that the important thing is that he thinks ahead and makes time for me, and that I told him I don't want a gift. I said that I appreciate his booking a very expensive restaurant even though this isn't my favourite kind of place. And yet I am being called a shallow melt who only cares about money. Wtaf.

No, being a single parent is my worst nightmare. I left a man who was/is emotionally abusive.

Maybe people who have been in long happy marriages don't know much about the beginning stages of dating, given that they haven't got much practice? All I have 'done' is have some conflicted feelings, which apparently is not allowed

Agreed.

OP, he's not a mind reader!
If it's really important to you take the initiative and say "I fancy doing something for my birthday, shall we arrange something?"

He hasn’t forgotten your birthday if it is two weeks away, OP.

Give him a chance before making negative assumptions.

Thanks for that explanation.

So op wants a "high value man". I googled what that was and there are a tonne of articles out there telling men how to be a "high value man". It's all just a game isn't it?

I can't imagine that all this game playing results in healthy, happy relationships 5 years down the road.

He literally told me that it "managed to slip his mind"

This explanation was crap. The idea is to be the best woman you can be, fully self-sufficient without a man, and not to accept a man who doesn't treat you well/have his own shit together.

They also correctly identify how misogynistic the world is. Just look at Roe v Wade. Women are second class citizens the world over.