Is anyone really happy single?

[BiscoffSundae]

Those of you that have been single for years with no fwb/fb (as that would be cheating!) Are you genuinely happy single and do you not miss affection or get lonely?

ive been single for 5 years (not through choice) and would like to know if anyone is actually genuinely happy completely single?

They're not contradictory. Some people are happy single, some are happy in relationships. It's not that one is right and the other's wrong.

But those are different people.
We’re not all the same, who want the same things.

I don’t mean to sound rude, but if your
a grown-up, I hope you understand that.

@YouAreNotBatman Yes, I understand what you mean completely. You don't sound rude. I appreciate your perspective.

This! One of the clinchers for me in ending my marriage was a feeling of existential dread at the idea of spending my later years with someone who at 40 I found profoundly irritating. Maybe he just wasn't the right person for me and there's someone out there who wouldn't induce those feelings in me. But I doubt it.

My 2 friends who are happy in their relationships long term-

1 it's all about the lifestyle and she has no kids- he's very well off and she can do whatever she likes as he's 20 years older and can't be arsed -She is materialistic and would admit it

1. Pretty low expectations - lovely person but totally happy going along with 'her bloke' at all times and doesn't mind doing everything- I think she genuinely actually does enjoy it

It does take all sorts and there are plenty of happy women out there in situations that others would have ended years ago .

I find that most of my couple friends are desperate for me to be coupled up - it's definitely more them wanting me in a relationship than me wanting to be in one!!

I find it hard to belive that anyone would genuinely be more happy living with another adult than on their own (or with their children/pets). I think most relationships are too much compromise and are undertaken for mainly practical reasons (childcare, shared finances, fear of being lonely).

I find it hard to belive that anyone would genuinely be more happy living with another adult than on their own (or with their children/pets).

I don't get why anyone would be more happy living with either another adult or with children. Pets, yes.

But I'm perfectly happy to accept that a lot of people feel the opposite to me, and that's fine. I don't know anyone who'd be daft enough to either express sympathy for my single state or try setting me up

Being 100% happy with your life is a pretty high bar to set - I'd say I'm 95% happy with being single. I have the odd wistful moment when it would be nice to have a hug or shag or sympathetic ear. Would a relationship mean I'm more than 95% happy with things? It's possible but I'm not holding my breath.

I wish people would give a little personal info along with their declaration. For example 'age 48 out if an abusive marriage' or '29, never wanted a relationship, think I'm asexual' or '34, never been on a date' As people's life experiences will have a huge bearing on whether they are happy or not single

50 single and childfree. I've been single and celibate by choice for about 6 years. It's not just not looking, I actively avoid men who show an interest, I really do not want a relationship. Every now and again I'll feel nostalgic for the excitement of new romance but then I remember it doesn't last for ever.

I was married for a few years in my late 30's to a man who turned out to be deeply unpleasant. I thank my lucky stars I didn't waste 20 years on him.

I don't feel lonely, I like being independent and pleasing myself.

"I find it hard to belive that anyone would genuinely be more happy living with another adult than on their own (or with their children/pets)."

The OP was about having a relationship though, not living with someone.

I am. Single 6 years.. but have a dog who is the best male I've ever lived with
After I had to literally run from my ex alcoholic violent partner, I bought my tiny flat, which is now my haven
Life is not always easily as I'm disabled but I can do everything I need to.,,, and the peace of mind and contentment I have now is Priceless

No relationship or sex for five years and don’t miss either.

I'm 57, divorced( married 18 years)
3 DS's in their 20's
3 year relationship exp
Happily single( no FWB) 6 years

After I split up with my ex, I was single for a year and then I started dating again. I was so happy single, yet I dated. I've been in a relationship for a few years now and although a lovely guy, I must admit I look forward to him going home or me going home. I love having my own routine and not worry about having to feed someone or have sex or stay up until whatever time I want. I have kids and have lived with men all my life and now I'm relishing being on my own. Being with my kids is different, I love that and would be happy to have them all the time.

I don't know if it is him, me, my age (50s) or what. All I know is that I've gone from looking forward to spending time with him, to excited when I know I won't see him for 2 weeks.

I was single/lone parent for 8 years.

I loved it. There were hard times that were lonely when DD was really young but being comfortable in my own company has given me the blessing of not compromising when it comes to relationships.

I did meet someone about 4 years ago. We remain in our own houses for now as our kids are at school in different areas and that suits me. We see each other frequently but have our independence.

I'm not quite ready to be full time with someone but I do know the relationship is right because I spent so long single and happy.

If he wasn't such a good un I'd be happy to stay single.

Single is bliss.

48, child free by choice, single for the last 12 ish years. absolutely love my life! Completely single, no FWB at all, really not interested. Interestingly, quite a few of my married with kids friends say they're very envious of my position and outlook on life

Of course you can be happy single . Some of the most unhappy people I know are married and all of the unhappiness relates from the relationship. A good relationship is the best thing ever , a bad relationship is worse than being on your own .

I thought this was the other single thread until I saw the dates. Must be an example of the Other threads you might like thing showing up. Parababe, I could almost be you except that I’m 49 & single for 8 years.

Late-50s m, single for nine years after a difficult marriage. Genuinely happy to be single and living alone.

I agree with those who say your perspective is likely to be shaped by whether you're relieved a difficult relationship is over, or you're forcibly single after bereavement or other unwanted ending.

I think I'm open to long-term again, but have two main question-marks:
• Could I really face sharing my space with another person again?
• Even before the question of sharing my space, I realise all my defaults after a long and difficult marriage are set to 'Why would you put yourself through that again?'

I guess that's why friendship or FWB appeal: some of the good bits of a relationship, but without feeling invaded. You keep some safe space.

Then again, am I missing out on something that could be wonderful and life-giving? Maybe. What I do know is that being single is infinitely better than being in an undermining long-term relationship.

Ecstatically so

I've found being single surprisingly nice and not sure why I was so scared of it before, as went through 3 different long term relationships with little gap in between, never giving myself time to be single. I've learnt loads about myself, and the more single I am, the more I just don't think I'd put up from a bloke now as I'm no longer scared to be alone.

Couples I know in real life and ones i read about on here make me glad to be single! The odd lovely walk together, a cuddle and kiss and a nice day out is just not enough if you're putting up with a lazy arse, moods, restricted on what you can and cannot do and when you can go out or guilt trips if "you've gone out 2 more times then them this month." Yawn!

Of course there are lovely relationships but long term they are rare and I think for the majority of women, they are just putting up with someone for either fear of being on their own/financial complications/kids/fear of unknown.

For every single woman people are feeling sorry for there's a couple where the woman's night is being ruined by a sulking idiot bloke who's only there because he's been forced to socialise 😁