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Original poster

Is anyone really happy single?

149 replies

BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 21:30

Those of you that have been single for years with no fwb/fb (as that would be cheating!) Are you genuinely happy single and do you not miss affection or get lonely?

ive been single for 5 years (not through choice) and would like to know if anyone is actually genuinely happy completely single?

OP posts:
surlycurly · 26/06/2022 22:41

I question this a lot. I've been single pretty much for 9 years. I've had lots of male company and a few relationships but ultimately I think I'm a better human alone. Being in love is all very nice but I simply prefer to live my life solo. I do miss sex but not enough to make a connection happen. I won't be single forever; I know I'll have more men in my life at various points, I just simply don't believe any of them will last as I don't think I really want to share my life. I'm currently alone on holiday in sicily and its absolute bliss not to have a partner. I love to suit myself!

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 26/06/2022 22:43

Yup... been single post divorce for 5 years now and have no intention of every being in a relationship again! Love it!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 26/06/2022 22:47

I'm happy, I've been single for around 8 years, not had sex in that time.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a partner but generally im happy on my own.

I have a teen dd, a job I enjoy, good friends and family and the pets to keep me company.

altmember · 26/06/2022 22:48

I'm very independent, quite happy in my own company, hate feeling smothered in a relationship. I've spent most of my adult life single (but not by choice), but I don't enjoy it.

I'm actually now in the happiest relationship I've ever had, but we're both very independent and we don't live together. That won't realistically be possible for another 10 years (when all our kids have grown up), and as much as I like the concept of us living together, I'm cautious that it might wreck what we have now. I think I have a phobia of growing old and lonely by myself lol.

Most people I know who are happily single have fwb arrangement of some kind.

Pawtucketbrew · 26/06/2022 22:50

Late 40s, 1 DC, fulfilling career, lots of friends and hobbies. I bloody love being single and can't ever imagine sharing my space with a man again. I love the freedom of being able to do what I want when I want without checking with anyone else. I need a lot of personal space anyway and never feel lonely.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 26/06/2022 22:53

Yes. I've been single for 10 years now. Not even been kissed during that time and couldn't care less.

I've got a wonderful DD, great friends and family, my own home and a job I enjoy. The longest relationship I ever managed was for 2 years. I'm just not relationship material.

The more I read on here and the more I hear from friends about their husbands the more I'm glad I'm single!

Maybe I'll meet someone, maybe I won't. It'd have to be someone very special for me to get into a relationship with them. And I just can't see me living with anyone again. Or god forbid having to share my bed with anyone!

Furrybutts · 26/06/2022 22:53

Single 4 years now, all my children have flown the nest, and I can honestly say I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship.

I also have no time, between working full time, active dogs, a hobby I hugely enjoy and grandchildren, I'm rarely at home and I don't know where I would fit a partner in :-D

I'm not a people person, and since the menopause started, I find any interaction longer than about 20 mins exhausting.

I love sex (but a woman can get anywhere) but not intimacy so much.

Lavendersparkles22 · 26/06/2022 22:56

I've been single 2 years, come out of a very tumultuous marriage. I had back to back long term relationships, so I lived alone for the first time at 35. I adore it. I have realised so much about myself I didn't know. I get over whelmed and sensory bombarded having another adult in my space and I definitely felt smothered in marriage. I've decorated how I like, I parent how I like, the house work is easier, I can be spontaneous and not need to check in with someone.

However, I've recently started having sex again with a couple of fwb. I don't consider this to be cheating, as its meeting a physical need, just like exercise or eating well. I love how empowered I feel, having sex and leaving (they are never allowed at mine, so I can leave when I like). I enjoy the rush of hormones and it boosts my mood. I don't check in with them regularly and if they get too needy, they're binned. Harsh, but I'm pretty clear in my boundaries from the start. I don't have the time or desire to be adding to my mental load with a man to be quite honest.

alwaysmovingforwards · 26/06/2022 23:02

Being single and choosing my own path, with a FWB for a date / sex every other weekend is working out perfect for me.

AyeUpMeDuck · 26/06/2022 23:03

I am.

I split woth my ex about 6 years ago. I tried dating for a year or so and didn't meet anyone I could tolerate.
Now I'm sort of of the mind that the pros of a partner don't outweigh some of the possible cons. Even just having more washing.. or having to consider what they want to do.. or what they want to eat..

I'm too selfish in a lot of ways I suppose. I do what I wanted to where I want, eat what I want, watch what I want and there's no one being pissy at me.

I don't get lonely and I don't miss sex etc. I don't particularly enjoy sex, I've always found it a bit ridiculous.. all the faces and the talkin and the noises.. ergh.

emmie847 · 26/06/2022 23:11

Iv been single for over a year now and I love it soooo much it's made my change my mind about having children and getting married

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 26/06/2022 23:12

Those of you that have been single for years with no fwb/fb (as that would be cheating!)

That's an interesting take - I guess you mean that if you're getting one of the major benefits (ie sex) of being in a relationship, then you're not really single?

Companionship is also a major benefit - so if you have a lot of friends, or a much loved pet, are you "not really single"?

What about if you have a handy diy-er friend or family member, is that also "not really single"?

I've been single over 10 years and I can't ever see that changing. I have FWBs because I like sex, and it's much more honest and fair to keep it casual than to get into an unsatisfactory (for both parties) relationship just because I want a regular bunk-up.

I very much consider myself single because to me that means "not in a romantic relationship".

Original poster
BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 23:20

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 26/06/2022 23:12

Those of you that have been single for years with no fwb/fb (as that would be cheating!)

That's an interesting take - I guess you mean that if you're getting one of the major benefits (ie sex) of being in a relationship, then you're not really single?

Companionship is also a major benefit - so if you have a lot of friends, or a much loved pet, are you "not really single"?

What about if you have a handy diy-er friend or family member, is that also "not really single"?

I've been single over 10 years and I can't ever see that changing. I have FWBs because I like sex, and it's much more honest and fair to keep it casual than to get into an unsatisfactory (for both parties) relationship just because I want a regular bunk-up.

I very much consider myself single because to me that means "not in a romantic relationship".

No it’s because I don’t have one so want to aim it at those who have absolutely no male interaction and fwb whilst I get is single it’s not the same as having no male interaction at all basically no sex!

OP posts:
Original poster
BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 23:22

I guess the way I see it is those that are happy are generally the ones still getting sex so they are not fully alone alone I more men those that have fully sworn off men.

OP posts:
Earlydancing · 26/06/2022 23:25

Ooo, me, me. 🙋 I'm very happy on my own. Just the thought of being with someone exhausts me. I love my own company and I've even started taking myself off for short holidays instead of going with friends. I'm loving being so antisocial. 🤭

MoreOfADogPerson · 26/06/2022 23:28

I haven't sworn off men but I have absolutely no interest in being in a relationship or having a FWB. I enjoy the utter luxury of having to only consider what's needed for me and my dog. I have lots of male friends, fellow pub goers etc, but I really want nothing beyond that.

ComfyChairPose · 26/06/2022 23:30

BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 23:22

I guess the way I see it is those that are happy are generally the ones still getting sex so they are not fully alone alone I more men those that have fully sworn off men.

No, im not :getting sex. Im happy.
Is sex what makes you happy. I dont think it is.

Fuzzyhippo · 26/06/2022 23:30

I'm not technically single as I've been in a relationship for 7 years, but I would consider myself single now as it's very casual and I don't really see him anymore. Would be nice having someone to share my life with, spend time with as most of the time I'm alone and it really gets to me. I see people on the media posting pictures of going on dates and holidays and always wonder why I can't have that. I don't think I could be happy single as I'm very dependent on relationships bringing me happiness

stayathomer · 26/06/2022 23:31

There’s a thread at the same time ‘is anyone really happily married?’ I just find it interesting.

Sunbird24 · 26/06/2022 23:31

Oh yes, over 4 yrs single and celibate now and I am very happy! Even if I met somebody (unlikely as I find so few men actually attractive) I wouldn’t want to live with them, never mind sleeping in the same bed every night. Turns out having my own space is a big part of what makes me happy and the thought of sex now mostly gives me the ick.

Original poster
BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 23:31

Yeh I guess I’m just looking more at those I can relate to who have no male interaction at all no FWB no intimate sexual relationships.. just fully alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
BiscoffSundae · 26/06/2022 23:33

stayathomer · 26/06/2022 23:31

There’s a thread at the same time ‘is anyone really happily married?’ I just find it interesting.

Yeh I read that thread as there seems to be an assumption that everyone who is married is unhappy so surely not everyone who is single is happy...

OP posts:
TheClitterati · 26/06/2022 23:39

Yes I am very happy & content and single for 9 years now. I don't want to date anyone & doubt I will again. I CBA with all the drama, and I have a fun & fulfilling life.

Stinkywizzleteets · 26/06/2022 23:40

I loved being single. I was single for 6 years, no hint of so much as a snog in that time. I had a dog for cuddles and more friends and a better social life than I’d ever had before. I could really commit to and enjoy my work without worrying about being available for anyone else.

I miss the freedom it gave me.

Marty13 · 26/06/2022 23:54

Been single basically my whole life. I had kids through a sperm bank and very happy. I used to think I should be looking for someone because it's the "done" thing but I've come to realize I'm actually happier on my own. Relationships stress me out. At the end of the day I am SO glad I don't have to share my bed with anyone, or put up with someone making noise when I want to sleep, or complaining when I want to watch a video late at night. I get to raise my kids however I want to without having to navigate the opinions of someone else.

I'm not totally against a relationship - but if I meet someone they'd have to be bloody amazing before I was willing to give up being single.

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