Is anyone really happy single?

[BiscoffSundae]

Those of you that have been single for years with no fwb/fb (as that would be cheating!) Are you genuinely happy single and do you not miss affection or get lonely?

ive been single for 5 years (not through choice) and would like to know if anyone is actually genuinely happy completely single?

yes, I used to think that I ought to meet somebody or ought to try, because that was the done thing.
Then I realised, (lightbulb) I don't want to though

As to the sexual side of things I have very little need in that department. I satisfy myself when I feel the urge but that's really not very often. In fact that's another reason to stay single as I wouldn't like the pressure to have sex more often than I actually feel like it.

I’m not, well I am about half the time. I’ve been single most of my life which I never imagined I would still be single at my age (50s).

But I’m very very introverted and I like my own space. always have and I think it’s one of the reasons why I’m still single, my ex thought the ultimate goal of a relationship is to live together and I really didn’t want to (especially with him and his DCs) so it was a huge bone of contention with us.

Also I’m picky and tend to get the ick really easily. There’s only two people I dated that I could ever see myself with long term but they didn’t feel the same 😂

so I do get lonely sometimes. I don’t miss sex at all but I do miss companionship and sharing parts of my life with someone. But I’ve given up trying to find that special someone, my ex has really made me feel like I don’t to deal with another man ever. However if the perfect guy for me happened to pop into my life I wouldn’t turn him away 😂

Very very happy and no plans to return to middle aged post-marriage dating for a year or two or never (I did three years of full on wanton promiscuity and a couple of boyfriends).

I'd like to work out how to make some new platonic girlfriends in my new area as have just relocated and left good mates behind.

Thanks @D0lphine - I think you might be right, I honestly think it's the best kept secret and sometimes wish I'd known earlier still that it was my thing 😂 people do occasionally tell me I must get lonely but I haven't yet :)

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

You lot are my inspiration! After a failed marriage, I fell hard for a guy who gave me the run around and since then I have been trying to get to a place where I’m happy in my own skin. I can’t face dating.

I will be looking into a fwb though…

Really interesting thread and responses!

I'm a solo mother by choice and had my child via as sperm donation (sperm bank).

Up until that point (aged 39) I'd genuinely wanted a relationship (living together, children etc no marriage though as I'm divorced) and was quite miserable that I'd ended up single in my late 30s not through choice.

I'd had FWBs and a couple of relationships during the period of being 36-38/39 however none of it worked out in the end. I think I was experiencing some sort of hormonal 'surge' where all the feelings felt so intense and encompassing.

Now that my son is here it feels as if I've experienced a lobotomy lol! I have totally lost interest in men and romantic relationships. I'm certain this is post partum hormone slump, and nature's way of ensuring I focus on the child however imagining long term and when this post partum period settles, I can't see myself living with another man again. I think romantic relationships can be fun, enriching and enjoyable but I seem to have been unlucky in finding a suitable partner (so far), and now with a small child in tow, really don't have the time or headspace to develop any real intimacy with anyone (nor do I feel I want to).

It's hard to say whether I'd feel really lonely and isolated without a child, I desperately wanted one, and I was extremely lucky to have conceived, and now that I'm a parent so far it's been a wonderful dimension/experience incomparable to any other relationship I've ever had. I did enjoy my own space however friends all coupled up and busy with their families and children, I'd often felt like I was waiting for their (sporadic) invitations and the weekends felt very lonely indeed.

Content more than happy. My husband passed away 12 years ago when I was late 40s and had small kids. I have not had any sexual contact/dates with a man since then. I do have a few male friends, but they all have partners and there's no interest either side beyond friendship.
I didn't get married until 40 and was single most of my life - one two year relationship one one year, the rest just dating or nothing. So quite used to being on my own.
I live with my daughter, still in school, and my son has recently left. I have plenty of friends, interests and work. I'm not closed to the idea of romance/relationship, but I'm not looking for or pining for one.
I masterbate on occasion so don't need or want fwb.

I've been single about 6 years now. I've had sex in that time but one night stands, no FWB. I am very happy single, I love the freedom and having my own space and being independent. Whenever I have been in relationships I find them smothering, too much pressure and just this yearning for them to end. I just don't think I do well with too much company. When I've been in relationships I would often make up excuses not to see them just so I could stay alone that night. I really enjoy my own company. I love being able to come home at night and do whatever I want, wear whatever I want, eat whatever I want, watch whatever I want without judgment.

The sex aspect, sometimes I do miss that. I masturbate but sometimes I would like a good fuck but not often enough for me to enter a FWB situation - even that just seems like too much effort or hassle to me.

I think I'd feel a lot differently though if I didn't have my daughter. I have an 8 year old and so don't feel that pressure that many women my age (30) are feeling to settle down and have kids. I have mine which I am eternally grateful for so that removes that worry.

All in all I have had some great relationships in the past but I am just never truly myself or happy whilst in them. I love my life, I love my independence, and I can't imagine there being anyone in this world that could change that for me. So yes to answer your question, I am single and genuinely happy.

I am beyond happy, totally single. Had my DS8 on my own too.

I would never entertain a relationship now.

I realise I am probably so damaged from past relationships that I literally give off a repellent. But honestly, I am happy.

I’ve seen this but I have kids so doesn’t apply to me 🤣 women are happier without a man or children!

I'm very happy single. And yes, my marriage was bad by the end, but before I met my husband I was single for 10 years and again, very happy. Single suits me just fine. The kids are mostly out of the house, I have cats and a good social life. No man required.

Thoroughly single - 15+ years - since DH died. Have been completely man-free by all your definitions through that time :-D

I have a small group of excellent platonic friends who are men and women, a job that I enjoy, and kids who keep me busy! Also elderly parents to look after.

I occasionally wish I had some back up making big decisions but overall I am totally fine.

Very happy. Most people bore the socks off of me and the overwhelming majority are more than a little disappointing in the bedroom. Ugh, I can’t imagine anything worse than literally sucking up scraps of affection in return for mediocre sex and company. 🤮

I'm widowed. I miss DH and we had a good relationship. But even so, I recognise that my daily life is generally better as a single woman.

Single for six years, no FWB and never been more happy and content.

I guess I am happy single, but that’s because I have no choice unless I want to be miserable every day. I don’t think being with someone is a path that is open to me really, so I can either just suck it up and make a life worth living or be miserable and sad about being unlovable. Might as well be happy 😆

I’ve been single for almost two years now and I have no desire to change that. I’ve never even downloaded a dating app or tried to meet anyone else, because I’m so happy by myself.

Maybe my relationships have been all awful (I’ve only had two, one for two years and one for 11 years), but really I’m struggling to think of what a man could do for me that I couldn’t do for myself better.
After I broke up with my son’s dad, I have been sort of waiting to get lonely, but it just hasn’t happened.

I love not having to tiptoe around a man child, not having to pick up after anyone but me and my son, I love that I always get to pick what I want to watch and don’t have to deal with huffing and puffing and sulking for anything.

Financially it’d be better to be a two-adult household and it would be useful to have another pair of hands, but that’s not a good enough reason for me to date.

Married now but was single and very happy for 7 years before that without FWB situation. I think I did miss affection to a certain extent but the freedom and lack of responsibility towards someone was something I cherished and did not think the trade off was worth it.

I am happy on my own.

My last attempt at dating ended up in me being assaulted, although I had known this man as a friend for years. Better to be single and happy than in a bad relationship. The incident made me look back on my dating history and realised that in a desire to be loved I put up with poor behaviour and the message that I was never good enough and did not deserve any better...no more.

If I ever met a decent, honest and loving potential partner who I was certain would bring a positive addition to my life then maybe, but as a middle aged woman I have had to accept that no many men fit that description.

Instead I focus on building a good, independent and fun life for myself.

😂"most people bore the socks off me" sums it up so well.

8 years single, had a couple of happy LTRs before that. Initially I really wanted another relationship. Recently I've noticed I'm really happy now and find it difficult to imagine sharing my space again. I've dated a bit and would like more of that, or a FWB. Being single gives me more space for friendships though, and I'm much more physically active, go out more to shows/ events, which I really enjoy. I date women and some of the comments on this thread about discovering yourself when single, have made me realise that I am rarely attracted to women who have not been single for a while.

I’ve been single since 2018 and no FEB or such like

im very happy, to the point that I’d be wary of coupling up incase it interferes with my happiness ☺️

I love the freedom of doing exactly what I want, enjoy my own company.

I have friends & family around which is great

packing up for a couple of months travelling in autumn, go off on holidays when I want at the drop of a hat

i look round at a few really good relationships but many mediocre that just don’t seem to make either dp happy and wonder why 🤷‍♀️

One of my best friends is. She's an immensely private person, very wealthy (all from her own hard work) and just has never met any man she likes enough to want to spend her life with him. She claims she;s never met a woman in a truly happy marriage. Bit cheeky as DH and I are very happily married, as are the other two friends in our close friendship group. But she sees us making loads of (very normal) compromises on our time and energies and sees that as an unhappy choice because she wouldn't be happy doing it.

She goes out a lot, has loads of friends, goes away whenever she wants. A good life but for me it would be a pretty lonely one. It suits her, though. She thrives on it and has never in all the years I've known her, been on a date. Even though she had a boyfriend who proposed to her years ago and she is still friendly with him and his family.

So you think a woman needs a man in order to be happy?

Come on, OP. There's lots of single women out there who love being single for the independence, the freedom. I was happily single for quite a long time, so are a couple of other women I know.