How to nip an intense mutual attraction in the bud?

[raisinkrumbs]

As the title suggests I'm in a situation where I've developed an intense and unfortunately mutual attraction to a man I have to see regularly. I am 45 and he is 51. We are both happily marrried for decades and have no desire to screw our lives up but the attraction is huge on both sides. We've done nothing but other people have already commented on the tension between us.

Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this and is there an easy fix to nip this in the bud?

A balding 51 year old as well. Eurgh. The poor OP is probably the latest in a long line of women he's targeted.

Pretty sure OP has already posted about this unless there’s two women with attractions to their fellow dog walker.
I remember the prev post mentioned a dog licking the neighbour’s face and him joking “that’s more than I get at home”…!

Anyhoo. I would suggest avoiding the neighbour as much as possible. Find a way to feel sexy about your husband again. Maybe suggest some role play (our eyes meet over the doggy bag, etc). Take up a hobby to make you feel sexy, eg dancing. Take some sexy pics and send them to your hubby.

Think about telling your children in future how you fancied the neighbour and that’s why you’re no longer with their father. I’m not saying that to be nasty - that would be the biggest turn off for me personally. Train yourself to think that every time your think about your neighbour.

All of this. And that's coming from someone who's been in this situation and beaten it. Feelings and attractions happen (yes, even at 50+). How the involved parties deal with this is the only thing that's relevant here.

-A balding 51 year old as well. Eurgh.

Nice. Some men are balding as early as their 30s, just saying.

😆@Onthedunes we live next door to a babe about the same age as OP... Funny how these threads can make you paranoid. Until I remembered that 10pm is way past his bedtime.

They moved in not long ago and he is HITTING on you.
Bet they moved because the last affair blew up and his wife went MAD.
Your his next LAY and so convenient your next door, so no effort on his part.
The fact people can see he is hitting on you, is such a red flag, he doesn't even care if they tell his wife.
He sees you as a poor sex starved woman, and thinks your husband is a fool.
I wonder how many other woman he is shagging at this moment, after all you only see him in the street and have no idea about his daily life and so you really are one of many possible shags. All he has to do is smile and hope one day when everyone is out he gets to come in for coffee and get his end away.

Her dog's legs are three inches shorter than they were a month ago, he's run ragged the poor thing 😂

I'd be surprised if the spouses have not cottoned on, especially with op being so embarrasingly smitten.

The term gagging for it comes to mind. 🙄

@Onthedunes reluctant dog 😂
@GreenManalishi 😂that's too funny!!! Poor woof woof!🐶

Let's hope it's not a sausage dog 😂

You need to question if you really are happy with your husband or if you’re just with him for convenience or whatever

When I was with my first husband, I had crushes on so many people from famous to ones I worked with. Some more intense than others but still at the daydreaming about them stage

Then I met my second husband and started an affair. I eventually confessed and left my first husband. I can now honestly say that I have not looked at another man since I’ve been with him. I honestly believe I had so many crushes because I was miserable in my marriage, I just didn’t want to admit it to myself let alone others

Yes, you're right. Personal preference of course but I just find don't balding men attractive at any age.

*just don't find. Typing on phone, sorry.

By the age of 50 approximately 85% of men are bald. So that's going to leave you with a bit of a conundrum at some point!

Yeah and they have "dealt with it" by discussing how much they want to have sex with each other. Line crossed. I'm judging.

By the age of 50 approximately 85% of men are bald. So that's going to leave you with a bit of a conundrum at some point!

I've been married for over 25 years and I'm not planning on having an affair. [Grin]

I notice OP avoided answering what it is that people are noticing when they see them together

I think she's wanting to come across all Jilly Cooper but it all sounds straight of Take a Break.

'Sharon was instantly attracted to hunky plumber Dave. His bald head twinkled in the sunlight, just like his cheeky blue eyes. We were both married to other people but we were determined to fight for our love. Things went fast and we fell pregnant within a month. Our families were devastated but we know we did the right thing, true love was the winner.'

"neither of us can move at the moment."

not read the whole thread but this bit of one of OP's posts is just weird. Of course one of you could move! If you value your marriage enough this ^ is the solution and it should be a matter of urgency.

"By the age of 50 approximately 85% of men are bald"
what a weird thing to say! I would not say 85% of 50 year old men are bald - thinning maybe, even ED sufferers maybe but not totally bald!

Maybe it's more Jane Austin with a few tweeks...

"It is a truth uniniversally acknowledged that a married man in possesion of a good dog, must be in want of a good shag with the neighbour"

Sorry, I should have written bald-ing. I find "ew I don't fancy bald men" when most men will at some point lose their hair, a bit like a self fulfilling guaranteed middle age disapointment! What do you do down the line when the one you've got's hair starts falling out, or you're after a new one and they're all balding?! It's a bit of a given!😂

"it’s the fact someone of that age is behaving as if they can’t control their dick. That’s what is repulsive."

Maybe i have only met toads in my life but I actually think a horrifyingly large percentage of 51 year old men would definitely cheat on their significant other if they thought they could get away with it. Men do not stop being "led by their penis" just because they are further along the decades.

To be clear, as I realise my last post wasn't particularly, I wasn't expressing approval for how the OP is handling her feelings, more responding to the way some pps seem to be judging the OP for even having these feelings at all in the first place.

What a weird post. Generally it isn't very cheap or easy to move house, especially in this market. You've no idea about the financial circumstances of the OP.

FriendlyPineapple · Today 14:09 I am not saying that moving house is easy in the slightest.
I am looking at it purely from the "which do I value more, my marriage or the convenience / comfort of staying living in the same house and not having to move house but it means risking my marriage"
I guess if you think marriages are as disposable as houses then sure, your comment is fair enough. Hey, why not change spouses as often as you change your car!