Father's Day - DH out for the day, unnanounced

[19Bears]

Would you be annoyed if you got up this morning to a text from your DH saying he'd gone out for the day, and hadn't said a word about his plans, bearing in mind it's Father's Day? The kids had written his card and wrapped his presents, and he's gone off without saying a word. He has taken to this recently, going off to gigs etc and only letting me know once he's actually on the bus. Today's text takes the biscuit though as all it says is, "Leeds." Nothing else. I couldn't give a monkeys, and we have a much better time without him, but wouldn't you at least expect him to want to spend the day with his children? Also, my brother is in a care home after leaving hospital and I was hoping to go and see him tonight which I now won't do.....Or am I being oversensitive. If I'm not overreacting to this, I'm going to use this as the last straw and text back telling him this is where it ends. I will not live a half life, accomodating his trips away, so he can return home as if he's a teenager coming back to his mum without taking any responsibility as a parent himself. Not to mention all the other things that are wrong, which you'll know about if you've seen other threads of mine.

[Isthisit22]

What?? How does your husband just get to unilaterally opt out of parenting on a regular basis, leaving you to do everything?

Time to dump him then at least he'll have to look after his kids some of the time.

[Polly271220]

Why are you still with this waste of space

[EvenMoreFuriousVexation]

It's particularly shit of him to disappoint his kids. If it was a one-off I'd say maybe he just doesn't see the importance of fathers day (I know a lot of guys don't) but this is part of a repeated pattern.

Is this the final straw for you? Looks to me like he's clearly telling you by his actions that he wants out, but is too much of an emotional coward to pull the plug himself. I'd put him out of your misery, personally.

[Bednobsbroomsticks]

He wouldn't have a home to come back to

[Orchidflower1]

Ok so who is he REALLY seeing when he swans off?

[Mumdiva99]

Yes I would be very annoyed. I would be okay if we discussed it and he told me of his plans first. I would think it rude and disrespectful not to be informed in advance.

[IncompleteSenten]

Who's he shagging?

I don't blame you at all for saying this is where it stops
He clearly doesn't give a shit.

[19Bears]

Thank you all for confirming that this is not normal. Sometimes I convince myself that I'm overreacting to things like this, but I'm not, am I. And I very much doubt he's shagging anyone. Not with those teeth.

[HollowTalk]

Ugh @ those teeth.

Haven't you written about this one before? He's always doing this isn't he?

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

Are you married to my ex husband?

[pumpkinpie01]

A one word text ! That's so so out of order ! I haven't seen your other posts but sounds like this is the final straw don't put up with this shit any longer

[WomanHere]

How old are the children? Once mine were over 10 I let them sort their own Father’s Day. They chose to do nothing today (we are now divorced) as teenagers. It’s not your responsibility.

[KangarooKenny]

I’m sure I’ve read about this before. If you don’t like it, time to end it.

[NewbieDivergent]

I'd pack his bags ready for when he returned.

[Ihatethenewlook]

He really doesn’t give a shit about you or his own children, does he?

[forrestgreen]

Text back
'Divorce'

[pedropony76]

And I very much doubt he's shagging anyone. Not with those teeth.

🤣

[Dancingwithhyenas]

Really bizarre behaviour.

[MadMadMadamMim]

Text back. Text Stay There.

And then block him. That would be the end of the road for me. Put the chain on the doors, have an early night.

It's so utterly unreasonable that only a twat would think he could behave like this and there be no consequences. I haven't even read your other threads.

[SunshineAndFizz]

Between his odd behaviour and your cutting comments about him, I'd say this relationship is past its best.

[layladomino]

You are most certainly not over-reacting. Father's Day aside, this is awful behaviour. Even if you didn't have children it's poor behaviour.

He is making decisions about how he's spending his week end with no reference to you, his wife. No thought about his parenting duties. Regularly choosing other things over being with his wife and children. Assuming you will fill the gaps and do all the caring and looking after. Assuming you don't have anywhere that you want to be. His selfishness and arrogance are truly breathtaking.

Add to that the fact it's fathers day and he doesn't give any thought to the fact that you / his children might have something planned.

He is acting like a single man. He is showing you where you and the children stand in his priorities. You would be well within your rights to tell him not to come back. It sounds like it's long overdue.

[catandcoffee]

Is this the man that goes off to music festivals as and when he wants.....regardless of where they are ?

[goody2shooz]

You’ve put up with this sort of nonsense from him for years. Have you really no alternative but to keep living with him - and writing about him here?

[Ishacoco]

Can we have a précis - ed version of OP's previous posts?

[NOTANUM]

Is this the guy who goes off travelling at the drop of a hat, never thinking that you’re doing everything? I’d personally be chucking him out and I never say that!