The cost of dating- I spent £50 last night!

[Okclaro]

It takes me a while to feel comfortable going back to someone’s or having them to me but this can’t keep up 😬

That was dinner, two drinks and a taxi home.

I'd say being purposely poor is almost worse. Nothing big or clever about choosing to live in poverty. I've known a few people like this...what they all had in common was how quickly they appeared with a begging bowl when they had a sudden life emergency they hadn't had the foresight to plan for. I guess they think the rest of us work, save and invest for shits and giggles.

What!? Seriously? Why should he be paying? Her expenses are greater than his? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It is basic good manners not to expect a free ride because you have a set of t*ts!!!

This is a joke post, surely 🙈🤣

I can't believe this thread is still going but moreover I can't believe there are people out there who genuinely don't think it's more expensive on the whole for a woman to date than it is a man.

Not every time but overall as a group it seems blindingly obvious that it's more expensive for women

It doesn't have to be, is the point.

I talked to my cousin about this yesterday (he's a 20 someting man currently dating, I am neither of those things but have been in the past).
He wears expensive clothes and shoes. he buys new regularly. He has his hair cut and his beard trimmed at the barbers for an important date. He buys expensive hipster hair gel and beard oil. He always offers to pay for dinner and the taxi if shared.

I used to wear whatever I had and pay my half of dinner or drinks. He certainly spends more than I ever did.

Sure, some women will get their hair and nails and tan and waxing done, and that costs money. But in my experience women who do all for that for dates do it anyway, for all kinds of events or just regular life. It's not like its specifically the dates that make them pay for that stuff.

I think its obvious its more expensive to "look good" (in a specific sense) as a woman, but it's hardly a necessary part of dating, or universal, or even specific to dating. So no, not in any sense "blindingly obvious".

Well not of the man is expected to pick up the tab, as quite a few still seem to expect.

babysitter (because usually it's us with majority care)
taxi (because it's unsafe for us to walk late at night)
Lower pay

Did you ask your nephew why he chooses to pay?

Babysitter...only if you have children, and only if you don't have free options for childcare.
Taxi, well if you live somewhere you can't walk or bus it, that's a cost anytime you go out. It's not dating specific. And its not like men don't need to get taxis too.

My cousin, not nephew, offers to pay quite often because some women seem to expect it, and also he's a kind and generous guy who can afford it. Most women say no thanks though and prefer to pay for themselves.

my point is that women are more likely to be baring these costs. I won't bother to explain because it's been explained so many times on this thread already

And my point is you're bearing the costs you choose to. Please do not "explain" your opinions again.

I'm not sure what you're not getting.

I don't remember choosing to be the only parent to take responsibility for caring for by kid, or being too scared to walk home alone after a date, or for my income to be lower than a man's

You chose to have a kid, and to date with a kid who needs a babysitter. You need to pay a babysitter for any kind of night out, its not date specific. You choose to live where you live and use taxis (I get buses and walk or cycle home).

Structural inequality means there is a pay gap but it hardly relates to your dating life. You could easily make more than any of the men you go out with, on an individual level. I make more than my husband. And my cousin. And most of the men in my office.

You're too simplistic.

As an aside, why do people bang on about taxis and safety? I feel less safe in a taxi than most places. Alone with a total stranger who can lock the doors and drive anywhere he wants, often late at night and you with drink taken? IT's like the ultimate unsafe situation!
Really weird.

This thread certain rooted out those who are generally a bit unhappy with their lot.
Or the choices they've made and now live with.

Interesting though

"me, me, me, me, me....it's all about me, me, me, me"

God forbid you could ever see past the end of your nose and actually evaluate the situation for women as a whole vs men as a whole.

Women, on the whole, spend much more money than men to look 'acceptable'. Most men dislike prematurely grey hair, hairy legs/vag/armpits, etc. These things often cost money or lots of time to sort out (and time is money for lots of people).

Women, on the whole, are in more danger than men when they go on dates and often have to spend money to be safer, e.g. train rather than walking, Uber rather than train. Even paying significant higher rent to make sure they live near the station or in a safer part of town. Men don't generally have to spend money to avoid sexual assault or murder.

Women, on the whole, earn less than men.

Women, when they have children, are far, far more likely to be the primary carer than men who have children. A woman will often have to pay a babysitter to go on a date. A man's kids will be with their mother.

Society is nowhere near equal, and silly pickmes deluding themselves into thinking it is are harming us all.

I think a woman needs to test that choice by going on First Dates with unshaved unwaxed hair on her legs in a short skirt Preferably a dark haired woman and then lets gauge the reactions of her date , the rest of the people on the show. And the Twitter reaction. I reckon that will show how much of a choice it is!!!!

@pixie5121
I'd rather be a 'pickme' than a 'miserable moaner'

Why are straight women attacking other straight women here?

Isin’t the point of dating that you find a compatible person FOR YOU!?

So there’s less ’competition’ (don’t take that word too seriously, women shoudn’t actually be compiting each other, especially because some man) if you’re looking for different things.

Stop fighting each other (once again, especially because some man - who cares about them?) that is exactly what the patriarchy wants.

Yes, I noticed years ago that most pickmes are a bit thick. Must be nice to be so oblivious.

Because pickmes ruin it for all of us by accepting shit behaviour from men.

I have lost count of how many useless men I've met who thought it was acceptable to be lazy, boring manchildren and do the absolute bare minimum because other women tolerated it.

Women like this aren't just fucking themselves over, they're fucking us ALL over.

There are many ways to be purposely poor. The financially literate, such as me, can choose to do it an a way he'll never have to rely on anybody's help or on the public purse.

One can be purposely poor just to reject anything that means consumerism and needless spending. One can have this thought from a young age but only have perfected it in adulthood (and in old age not need it as they'll have the state pension then).

Women who don't like this can go date other people. They're not needed or wanted.

Have cheaper dates
stay in and have sex

Lots of anger verging on destructive bitterness, but alternative views are always good to hear

no shit 😂

and some very hetero normative assumptions

I’m dating older and right now all I want is (nice) sex and some escape from my single mum life

and some women are looking for a life partner which is also totally ok
and naturally what they look for is going to differ from what I am looking for

but surely how we approach dates and dating is going to be drastically different ?

and why can’t that be ok ?

Women like this aren't just fucking themselves over, they're fucking us ALL over

so
you are angry with shit men
and
all the women that date shit men

thats a big % of people to be pissed with there
HUGE