The cost of dating- I spent £50 last night!

[Okclaro]

It takes me a while to feel comfortable going back to someone’s or having them to me but this can’t keep up 😬

That was dinner, two drinks and a taxi home.

True. If a man asks you out (hopefully you are not asking them out as they will throw it in your face that you chose them one day) he should be able to afford a drink on him. C'mon....

Not about equal rights this is about a man courting a women!

Possibly but she will be traditional and will do a hell of alot of other stuff for him her whole life which he would other wise have to pay a small fortune for. Either way he is quids in and lucky to have the women.

😂 I don’t even know where to start with this!!

Only soft drink?

nope, I'm not 10 years old.

@Okclaro how much were you expecting dinner & a taxi home to cost?

Or a man that's genuinely down on his luck.
My husband wouldn't have been able to afford to take me out much when I met him, we've been together many years now and very happy.

I detest the view that men should pay. Why is it even a thing??

I would have zero interest in a man who couldn't afford a drink or a meal out. One of my main hobbies is travel and it would be pretty miserable having to leave my partner behind every time because he couldn't afford to join me. Or to want to see a film at the cinema followed by a meal out and have to compromise with a Nandos instead. I've worked much too hard for too long to tolerate more of the broke student lifestyle.

I detest the view that money isn't important.

Horses for courses I guess. I'd be really happy to go for a walk rather than a drink or meal.

How can you gauge chemistry when you're not even sitting face to face? I think it's a dreadful idea. The only redeeming thing is having things to comment on as you walk past them, but if such small talk is needed then there's probably not a lot of compatibility anyway.

I don’t date men ‘down on their luck’

I am a professional woman who earns great money who likes dining out, concerts, the theatre. I did living like a broke student when I was a broke student building my career. I had no interest in repeating it.

Meeting when you are young and at a similar life stage, and doing the walks with tinnies around a park, or playing dinner party at each other’s student houses is absolutely fine. No one is saying this isn’t?

But I cringe at older women who are OLD with means and good finances being told to be ‘kiiiiind’ to men who are usually just bad with money or haven’t been as frugal or driven as they have. No 30 year old woman with a good job (and who can buy her own bloody dinner thanks) should be getting walked around a park like a energetic toddler, or told to come
over to a strange man’s house for a takeaway because he is ‘a bit short this month’.

How do you feel about men w good jobs being "kiiiind" to women who are down on their luck @Suprima ?

@Porcupineintherough men date for looks not a woman's financial situation

@suprima of course solvency and character are important but some men (and women) are in great jobs that just don't pay well. You sound quite ruthless and that will put off some guys (it would put me off immediately, and I've been as frugal and driven as they come).
@TeachesOfPeaches Like women, men date for a range of motives and are well aware that everyone is a package deal. I don't think your stereotype reflects reality, at least not my version.

This was my experience...

You see lots of good looking women with ugly men but rarely a good looking man with an ugly woman.

I’m happily married to a man who ticks all my boxes- thank you!

I’m pleased I was ruthless. I’d have rather lived alone with my cat and had children solo than settled.

@Suprima so as opposed to I don’t date men ‘down on their luck, you don't actually date at all.

I got married recently- I did date before then. How do you think I met him?

@Suprima Of course you dated in the past but your statement suggested you were still dating.

That's not necessarily true. Similar to women older men sometimes are looking at the while package / situation.

I'm surprised that a two-line post may be generating so much attention.

But what I really wanted to say is that I like @DontBlameMe79's interventions in this. I think she's daring, she has a sophisticated point of view, and she stands her ground without being disrespectful. That in itself is a great asset! And if I was dating this lady I'd be impressed.

BTW Good conversation isn't for sale by prostitutes last time I checked. So the word isn't applicable here, or to her.

Although I think, it'd be good if it was, then a man could hire a prostitute just for good talk and for company when he feels alone - but that's not the world we live in. Perhaps that's what's called a geisha? Though to be honest I'm not sure any more, and of that there may be various types. It's not our culture anyway.

In other news... The cost of dating is awful. I feed myself the whole month with little over £50! I couldn't spend all that on one date. If I'd expect that might end up being spent, I wouldn't even try it. I'd try meeting ladies in settings other than a date.

Oh, and I get the museums hint and all that. That might have worked for me when I was young. But nowadays if my date asked me, before setting out, 'How often do you go to museums yourself?', it'd be obvious that I don't, or more precisely no longer, and I don't think it makes sense sharing an activity you no longer do on your own. So museums are out. I could still do picnics though. And days out at the beach. Though picnics and the beach mean being far from other people; my date would have to trust me already to go out alone with me. So every proposal has their own sort of problems.

Wow!!

To me and many other traditional women...a date involves a few things.

Man persuing you
Man asking you and figuring somewhere nice)convenient for you based on your conversations (because dating us about gathering DATA) and based on his budget
You agreeing after a little chase (if he hasn't sweat a little to get this date he won't value it).
Man should pay for the date..he invited you and you are probably paying for child minding to be there.

😂😂😂
What is a "traditional woman" @mumieone ?

To me and many other traditional women...a date involves a few things.

Man persuing you
Man asking you and figuring somewhere nice)convenient for you based on your conversations (because dating us about gathering DATA) and based on his budget
You agreeing after a little chase (if he hasn't sweat a little to get this date he won't value it).
Man should pay for the date..he invited you and you are probably paying for child minding to be there.

You aren't that traditional if you've already got kids.

This is one of the craziest threads I've read in a long time!

I'm the opposite of @Suprima with regards to dating, I think love is blind to socio-economic status and dates are made to some extent to discover love, however I understand and respect her point of view.

I might also be a man "down on my luck", but don't worry, I don't take your comment personally. Just so you know, though, there are some people who're down on their luck by personal choice. We have other priorities, that's all. Not everyone wants first of all to augment or preserve their net worth.

E.g., There's the man who sleeps rough because he has no choice, but there's also the man that does that because he wants to be free, and living in the streets gives him a sense of freedom. I've watched video interviews of people like that. Is that a mental illness? I'll answer with a question: What is sanity?

I don't think that that who sleeps rough out of personal choice will want to date you either. Again, nothing personal, he'll just realise that your priorities are different and prefer that your paths do not cross.