Dating thread 229: Traversing the world of dating

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

It’s brutal
despite 2 vaccine it knocked me out
and single mum too doesn’t help right ?
please rest and heal up x

HowlongWillThisTakeNow I think your right, I just need to make a move. I have only ever dated on guy that hasn’t made the first move, eventually I jumped on him 😬, obviously it didn’t work out, though I have a feeling he was secretly married.

@Lovemusic33
its not so much that you need to make a move, it’s more like you need to provide the opportunity for him, if you are kissing, touch his arm / chest / leg whatever to show that you are okay with touching and okay with him touching you

Hey all, @ibelieveinmirrorballs hope you feel better really soon, I was triple jabbed and was rough with it, 6 months ago now though.
Not a lot happening with me but weirdly a newish friend of mine confided that she is having a thing with one of Mr Turks friends!! She said mr turk is a genuine nice guy so is going to do a bit of sleuthing behind the scenes when she sees his friend. I’ve only seen him once recently and not sure if he saw me. Absolutely no one else i have my eye on. HARD to meet people unless you want to spend all your free time in a pub which I don’t as ive gone tee total again plus find pubs boring. And refuse to go back on any hateful apps. All my single friends say the same. Hate the apps, but how do you ever meet anyone.
How’s everyone else’s lovelife? 🙂 @SortingItOut how’s mr K? @Thisisworsethananticpated and balkan? You sound nice and calm hope things are on a nice even keel now. Xx

ButterflyOfShay
oh that’s exciting news
the trails and links to Turk !
work this connection please !!!

im really trying to manage
boundaries with Balkan
him and ex are a Balkan version of Johnny and Amber , with kids in the mix 😵‍💫

and yet - we talk friendly chit chat all day which isn’t really commensurate with FWB

I did restart sexting and chatting with overseas ex , but I’m not feeling it like I did last summer
probably cos I fancy someone in real life

oh well , it’s not dull

ButterflyOfShay I don’t like going to pubs either unless it’s with friends to watch live music outside. I don’t enjoy dates in pubs, especially this time of year, I know in winter there are not many other places too meet. I tend to date people that like outdoor activities. I’m pretty much t total too.

I haven’t heard from Mr Cherry, he mentioned meeting up today when we last saw each other but it often feels like I’m the one doing the chasing and asking him if he wants to meet up. I don’t want it to come across like I’m desperate but I also want him to know I really like him. I would like him to chase me a little.
Im finding it hard not to over think things (something I always do), I feel like I’m just waiting for him to vanish or to end things. I’ve had so many bad experiences with on line dating and been hurt so many times that now I struggle no let my guard down and I’m constantly worried about rejection. I really need to learn to relax and get over it 😬

@Thisisworsethananticpated …maybe this is the right way to go about Balkan. Develop a strong relationship in time bit right now when there is so much drama just be close friends ( with benefits 😈of course)
in my case with Mr ex I miss the sex but I know I can’t go there for his sanity. I don’t know what to do about Uber posh MrC. There’s no emotional connection whatsoever there. Sex is great though but I am averse to FB and don’t want FWB either. I’m biding my time but we will have “ the talk” in a week or so. Meanwhile I keep checking possible second iron

Mila14

agree , it can’t turn into anything more serious with his situation
which means as I plan my summer , im not
planning around him really
I’ve learnt the hard way

and yes funnily there is a friendship there
i talk and chat with him more than my bloody friends ! Which is why nothing really progresses with others as I like him more

but as I’m not up for a serious relatiionship anyway …

it seems like you have made a decision about MrC ?

@ButterflyOfShay that sounds like a major step forward with the Mr Turk story. Hopefully she can be the one who brings you two together!

I don’t know what to do about MrC @Thisisworsethananticpated. I’m trying to discern whether I am judging him harshly. I really don’t want to be with a guy who is not emotionally available to be honest. I’m talking to someone else but I keep checking options…I’m way too picky I think.
I really really thing you should keep your thing with Balkan. I also understand his situation in a massive war with kids between. It would be weird if he was totally available. His DC should go first at a time of marital war. Be patient 😊and enjoy all the way

Good update from me today! Mr Turk and i finally said hello in passing!! Well we were staring at each other and I said hey and he said hi back… hopefully he wasn’t just being polite and thinking I’m a weirdo?
@HowlongWillThisTakeNow Male point of view please do you think it could have been that?!? 🙈 hope not 😱😱 I did have a good skimpy outfit on (inappropriate for a 40+ yr old 😅) so that did maybe help ..

Does he care how you are..? I mean, do you think he has emotional warmth towards you? I think lack of an emotional connection can either be because it’s early days or just because… there’s nothing really there.

Oooh @ButterflyOfShay this IS exciting! Very exciting about the friend link too - I’d say you’re perfectly poised for this to now move forward via this connection…

Still in Covid recovery mode here. Have had to cancel lots of plans but I’m hosting a big celebration birthday party at home in just over a week so hope I’m well recovered by then.

Mr Nice is living up to his name and has apparently started to make me a small something… I’m slightly horrified by this although think it could be something as small as a coat hook (he’s a furniture maker) so hopefully it won’t be excruciating or weird. We’ve started to plan next date which is good although I am still very slightly wrestling with the niceness and wanting to push it away.

@Thisisworsethananticpated glad it’s all good on the western front as it does sound like there is something between you that is worth holding on, to, it does sound like he’s been through a rough time too but I think you take challenging characters in your stride don’t you x

It’s so weird the way things happen sometimes isn’t it, like things beyond coincidence?? I feel like me becoming friends with this chick is kind of helping it along somewhat! Love the way life throws in these tidbits sometimes ☺️

Thanks all. Feel really down tonight with the reality of things.
So to put you all in the pic. Guy came out of nowhere a few months ago..to narrow down a novel ticked a lot of boxes. Too good to be true hey?!
like @Lovemusic33 has said lots of kissing but no actual point of having sex..this dragged on and became frustrating for me.
few minor differences but in all good and I was happy. Then a small change with me unable to see him and he didn’t like it. Sulked and ignored me. I’ve taken it so badly due to my last relationship issues. Where we’re up to now is he messaged me and chatted a week later but seemed oblivious of what had happened?! I decided I was wasting my time and went quiet. Yesterday I had a ‘how are you’ I’ve replied and nothing. Why am I doing this?! It’s clear he suddenly wants a friend? I really liked him and thought the feeling was mutual. Sigh. What would you all do now?

@Lovemusic33 mr cherry sounds nice, when did you last see him? Is he quite a lively character or more chilled? Has he been in a relationship recently or been single a while? Do you if he’s chatting to other people? It’s a minefield isn’t it, I think all any of us can do is stay positive and try not to overinvest! (Says me completely obsessed with a guy ive only ever said hi to and even that’s taken over 2 years!!) 😂😂🙈
Hopefully he doesn’t drink either, had enough of pissheads it’s so boring and offputting now.

And what are his annoying quirks @Lovemusic33 😂😂 go on spill!! 😄

Sorry… ignore me! Just catching up and seen that question's already been asked and answered! 🙈

Sounds good and completely different to Mr M! X

Oh my gosh this is cute.. you’re funny.. 😂😂💗

So let’s be honest, any man will say hi back if a good looking woman in a skimpy outfit says hi to them, I doubt he thinks you are weirdo.
the question is what is your next move ?, you have broken the ice with the 1st little exchange now you need give him an opportunity to strike up a little exchange of his own, could you ask him to do something, hold something ( not that), or do you a real quick favour?

These bits are the true magical bits of life that makes it all worth it

Well todays date (if I can even call it that) wasn’t that great, feeling confused and disappointed…oh and still sexually frustrated, I really don’t know what to make of it. One things for sure..I’m not doing anymore chasing.