Dating thread 229: Traversing the world of dating

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Checking in. Thank you for the thread. Love the rules!

Great walking date with Mr Blue. He was extremely kind and decent, not my usual type looks wise but there was an attraction as the conversation flew. I've dated some super fit men before but it still went wrong so I wanted to keep an open mind here. He actually made me a picnic (baked the bread and the cakes). Definitely won me over.

Awesome news Eesha…amazing he baked the lot for you… where did you go for walk? I want to go for walk date too with iron 2

@Mila14 we just walked around a park in London several times, then found a quiet spot to natter. He made a huge effort and actually it worked a treat. We want to do it again. Early days but seems lovely!

{mention: pixie5121} Bumble, though I've met quite a few dates there.

Agree about the food thing and he was happy to eat a bite first but it all seemed fine!

Super exciting. It’s great that you like him a lot even though he’s not your usual type! Really brilliant. He’s making a lovely effort too and being straightforward.
Did you kiss in first date? When do you guys consider it’s the right time to kiss and when to DTD??. Advise please

@Mila14 yes, we kissed. Its really important for me to know if there's an attraction so I tend to ask outright pretty early so I know if it's a friend date or more! The soonest I've waited to dtd is till date 4 but now I'd wait much longer to get to know them. I find the kissing tells me a lot anyway

@Mila14 it's very early days, just a date zero so I'm not too invested but he's a very nice guy and it's great to meet nice people. I have a lot on my plate anyway which is helping me not get invested.

Wise Eesha !

@Eesha what a lovely date. He sounds very sweet.

{mention: pixie5121} and @WeWantTheFinestWines My experience on old is the same :(. Most of the people I meet lunge at me (

pixie5121

i hear what you say about being lonely
is say forging real human connections is the kinder solution than Dating

what’s your deal with working , where family located , old friends ? Are you living far from home ?

I’ve had to be very proactive about this
I even have a list of friends who I know I can text in a bad day

anyway I’m rambling

Eesha
that sounds like a good date 😁😁

{mention: pixie5121} I think it only takes the one connection so just keep an open mind. Seriously I've had hundreds of messages in the last couple of months but none have been anyone I would be attracted to. There was one who seemed nice but we had a video call and I wasn't attracted. Now Mr Blue who isn't my type, looks a bit nerd like but is a lovely person and his messaging style seemed to work for me and I felt at ease but again early days. I guess I'm saying take it with a pinch of salt and don't let it define you. These are just faces on a screen.

Brightstar29
I think it’s clear which one you like more !
I think you also need to give yourself permission to maybe make a mistake ? I mean you might not marry the next one , but it could be a fun or
learning anyway

I don't understand how men are always whingeing about how women don't write back

because it’s true, move away from this site and towards more gender equal and you will page and pages of men reporting the same, it was the same for me as well, for every 20 or 30 messages sent, maybe one or 2 half replies
the only thing I can really think of is that a lot of men are so dissatisfied with OLD they are or have simply given up.

It’s fake profiles, male and female. Only a small proportion of the profiles on Tinder and Bumble are real people, hence the large number of non-replies that both genders complain about

Exactly. It's not just women. A sizeable proportion of men match but don't message/reply.

Ah well.. just venting here.
I've been ghosted ( again ) by a seemingly lovely woman after 3 weeks of chat.
Two days ago she messaged to say she was going out for the afternoon and then silence.
She's checked her WhatsApp recently.
I've messaged her to say that I'll now leave it up to her if she wants to get back in touch.
Why are seemingly nice people so horrible, we had mentioned ghosting in the past and agreed how awful it was.
It's upsetting frankly.
Anyway.. onwards..

@Shunter350 that’s rubbish behaviour on her part. And absolutely no need for it. A simple ‘ thank you for chatting but I don’t see this progressing further. Good luck ‘ should have been the least she sent. As you say, … onwards ! 😉

Sorry to hear this, especially after three weeks of chat. After that time period it is only polite to say that you aren't feeling it instead of just ignoring the person. I have had lots of ghosting experiences but not after talking for that long. It's just mean.

I didn't realise this.

Checking in. Bumble profile set up last week netted a crop
of three and am messaging two of those. Have been really busy at work snd away at the weekend so am hoping to line up one or maybe two date zeros later this week. Will be my first ever -never could have done this without the lurking I have done on here for the last year thank god for this thread OP! 😀

Probably for the same reason you think only men don’t respond,

men only get the male experience and the most common male experience seems to be the women don’t respond, (and I agree with that) and I won’t mention the 2nd most common (it’s not sex either).

if you saying men don’t respond, I cannot really comment on that as I don’t date men ,