Inappropriate behaviour from a guy I am seeing?

[Charliec12]

I have been seeing a guy for 6 months now we are taking things slow and not official. He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help. Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her). Anyway the ex girlf split up with her new partner that evening and he moved out. The partner who moved out blames the guy I am seeing for it all as he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still. Anyway I found out the next day that to wind the partner up who had moved out that night the guy I am seeing had decided to send messages to the partner about what he was doing in bed to his ex girlf who is also the guy I am seeing’s ex girlf too. I got sent the screenshots sadly. This is out of order isn’t it from the guy I am seeing even though we are not official? He was very drunk and said he did it to wind the ex partner up who had just split up with the girl. The partner I am seeing has not apologised to me about it either

He sounds awful! What on earth have i just read?

Get the hell away from him

Yep totally agree and I think it was because he was trying to fight the ex due to the ex calling him names and the guy I was seeing getting more angry. When I left at 8pm I told him I was worried that the ex would come back and there would be trouble then I found out the next day the guy I was seeing was goading him and purposely trying to wind the ex up with messages like that 😩

Well, I was going to advise waiting until you're a grown up before worrying about relationships and to concentrate on your schoolwork but now my mind is blown.

On reflection, I'd still advise waiting until you're a grownup though.

Possibly I did ask him that Sun and he has said no

So have you dumped him yet ?

I wasn’t too bad until Sat night but that was an eye opener for sure and not in a good way

Thanks and yes it is a worry there is huge commitment issues there I can see

Thanks it is because he likes drama I think and was winding the ex up to try and get that. To do that was totally out if order

It felt like I was at a circus Sat night

Way way waaaay too much drama after a short period of time. Walk away

He has mental health issues snd I kept thinking it would get better in time but Sat night was a huge eye opener

I didn't get further that the first 6 lines. So many wrongs in there already. Look just don't waste your time on blokes with issues like this. It will never go well Set your standards higher.

We haven’t slept together much really so I don’t think it is that

My advice would be, if you can’t move away completely from these losers, (small town where you grew up would be my guess!) then certainly change your circle of friends and acquaintances because every one of them sound really horrible, especially the guy you were seeing. He is using you for sex (not “taking it slow”), is violet, angry, drunk and still into his ex massively. Not a great catch.

I would have thought a 41 year old would have a bit more maturity. This sounds like teenage drama.

Have a little self-respect and dump this loser.

Thank you the relationship felt like hard work at times due to his mental health issues mostly but I put up with that but to then have to see those screenshots really hurt me. There was no respect there for me regardless of how drunk he was :(

They never get back together though. She has various boyfriends as time goes a long and he still visits her and the boyfriends. I think he sees her as family as he has grown up with her children around him

Do you have kids OP? Obviously not with him as you've not been seeing him long, but do you have kids?

I have certainly seen a very bad side to him since Sat night. The week before the ex hit him and he hit the ex back so they really don’t like each other. I left early as I was worried the ex would come back and trouble would start :(

Thanks :)

Why do you want to be with an abusive violent alcoholic who possibly is still shagging his ex? It's all very Jeremy Kyle. Get rid of him and have a bit of respect for yourself.

We didn’t sleep together much and it was ok he didn’t know how to use it though and it didn’t work well 😂 not sure what that was linked to

It's all too much for a new relationship. Anger issues, drinking, depression, creepy behaviour - why would you saddle yourself with all that?? I'd dump him.

Yes it seems like it

He's 41???? FML. Put this one in the bin. Grim.