Inappropriate behaviour from a guy I am seeing?

[Charliec12]

I have been seeing a guy for 6 months now we are taking things slow and not official. He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help. Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her). Anyway the ex girlf split up with her new partner that evening and he moved out. The partner who moved out blames the guy I am seeing for it all as he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still. Anyway I found out the next day that to wind the partner up who had moved out that night the guy I am seeing had decided to send messages to the partner about what he was doing in bed to his ex girlf who is also the guy I am seeing’s ex girlf too. I got sent the screenshots sadly. This is out of order isn’t it from the guy I am seeing even though we are not official? He was very drunk and said he did it to wind the ex partner up who had just split up with the girl. The partner I am seeing has not apologised to me about it either

Couldn't have said it better myself.....

There are no rules about what is out of order and what isn't. If you got told here that his behaviour was ok, do you think you should try to stay with him an put up with how shit he makes you feel?

You make the rules for your relationships. If he does things that you think are out of order, then they're out of order for you, and it doesn't matter what anybody else says.

'Stay away from people who make you feel bad' sounds like simple advice, but it's the only lesson in boundaries you'll ever need, and it'll protect you from ill treatment and abuse very well.

He makes you feel bad. You know what to do.

Why would you continue to see him, he is a total shitbag. Dump him.

How old are you op ?

Even if his story is completely true, what kind of absolute arsehole tries to wind someone up after they've split with their girlfriend saying what they've been doing to them in bed??

Especially if their friendship had caused some of the issues that led to a breakup.

That's extremely cruel and fucked up.

Glad you're not official, will be easier to walk away.

Next.

Why are you putting up with this shit? He’s probably still sleeping with her. Fuck the lot of them off. Find someone nice.

Dump him.

Literally the first piece of info we get is "he has anger issues" and it doesn't improve from there onwards at all.

Are you fucking insane? Read over what you have written down. Then walk away right now, actually as PP have said- run. Put a value on yourself and keep some dignity.

*Sorry 'insane' is perhaps the wrong word choice. No offence meant to any MH issues. I meant insane as in lost your rational mind.

Totally inappropriate.

agree with everyone you should end it. If this is what he is like 6 months in then what will he be like after 2 years? Also not being official after 6 months is a huge red flag. He clearly wants to duck around and use that as an excuse why you should be cool about it

Fuck around. Not duck around

There’s so much wrong here that I don’t know why you’re posting here and not just texting this guy to end it.

Do you really not want more for yourself than this complete shitbag of man? I fear greatly for your future given you haven't already dumped this loser.

I'm good friends with my ex and I can tell you now the absolutely last thing he would do if I broke up with my DH would be to try to "piss him off" with immature sex talk about me. Because all 3 of us are grown adults.

He'd likely check that we were all ok and otherwise stay out of it. That's what normal people do. Throw this one back.

No need to add question mark to title of your post.

Do not spend one more millisecond on this loser, his loser ex, or in their tacky grim little world.

Trust me when I say RUN, don’t walk, away from that whole mess.

Please let us know you have at least one iota of common sense.

Dump him then work out why you value yourself so little you've considered continuing this relationship.

It’s not exactly Jane Austen, is it?

I agree with what @Watchkeys posted: Stay away from people who make you feel bad' sounds like simple advice, but it's the only lesson in boundaries you'll ever need, and it'll protect you from ill treatment and abuse very well.

@Charliec12 This is very good advice. There can be long term consequences for sharing your life with people who make you feel bad. And those consequences are not good.

There are long term consequences for sharing your life with people who love and respect you and make you feel good. And those consequences are good.

Love yourself and surround yourself with people who make you feel good, loved, respected.

'not official. He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking..'

You can do a lot better than that.
Mario wasting your time with him and find someone nice.

Hi old is he... 10

He needs to GTF up, way too much drama & your BF is revelling in it. Dump his sorry ass & run

You're not 'official' because he still wants to get back with his ex, and he doesn't want her to think he might've moved on.

He's still friends with his ex because he wants to get back with her (yes people can be friends post relationship, but that's clearly not this blokes intention).

He's winding up the ex's (now ex) partner, because he wants to make sure they don't patch things up, because he wants to get back with his ex himself.

The anger issues and depression could well be driven by him not being over his ex, and wanting to get back with her (not excusing or justifying it, just trying to suggest a reason).

There's a theme in all of the above. Hopefully you've already identified it for yourself.

Matey.

I got two sentences in.

C'mon don't do this to yourself.