Page 6 | Inappropriate behaviour from a guy I am seeing?

Charliec12 · 2022-05-17T21:14:42+00:00

I have been seeing a guy for 6 months now we are taking things slow and not official. He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help. Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her). Anyway the ex girlf split up with her new partner that evening and he moved out. The partner who moved out blames the guy I am seeing for it all as he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still. Anyway I found out the next day that to wind the partner up who had moved out that night the guy I am seeing had decided to send messages to the partner about what he was doing in bed to his ex girlf who is also the guy I am seeing’s ex girlf too. I got sent the screenshots sadly. This is out of order isn’t it from the guy I am seeing even though we are not official? He was very drunk and said he did it to wind the ex partner up who had just split up with the girl. The partner I am seeing has not apologised to me about it either

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

No I don’t get angry at all he can be curt with me and we don’t fall out as I am very chilled. But this nonsense Sat night is rediculous. I told him when I left at 8pm that I was worried about him getting in trouble then I find out at gone 11pm he was texting that man all that stuff :(

OP posts:

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:21

Keroppi · 18/05/2022 07:26

Get rid and get some respect for yourself! Dating a weirdo who fights people and who isn't even a good shag!! At his grown age! Woman up! You know you deserve better.

I know the not great sex is awful alone 😁

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youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 09:23

This was what you said six weeks ago:

I have been dating a guy for 6 months totally fell for him to be honest but he has depression and cuts me off when he is bad for a few days at a time. This week has been really bad as he has come off of his anti depressants as they are meaning he has no emotions and he has not spoken to me all week as he has turned his phone off. He told me when I saw him a week ago that he cuts off to handle it and doesn’t talk to anyone. First of all how am I anyone when he can sleep with me, tell me he loves me and tell me I make him smile? Yesterday I drove to his house in my lunch break he didn’t answer the door even though I was shouting through the letterbox. Today I took a day off work so we could spend the day together. He didn’t even have his phone on all day so we couldn’t meet. It is leaving me feel heartbroken when he cuts off, now he has had his phone off for a week. What would your advice be?

You also added this:

I found out recently he is spending £400 a month on cocaine

And then this bombshell also from six weeks ago…

I haven’t been that happy for the last 3 years and my head is regularly getting turned :( I am still in my marriage due to the cost of living and the impact it could have on my 2 kids. It is not easy at all at times though

And you have two daughters. I’m sorry but what the fuck were you thinking being married while shagging man who is a cokehead with anger issues who (based on this and other threads) lives at home, plays video games all day, takes money from you and is horrible to you?

Put your kids first and stop seeing him for goodness sake. Then file for divorce and get some solo therapy to work out what you want before even considering dating someone again.

isthismylifenow · 18/05/2022 09:23

🤔41?

How can you be arsed with all this drama at age 41?

Some of your posts are in past tense, and some not. So have you dumped him?

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:38

CandyLeBonBon · 18/05/2022 07:38

God OP the more you wrote the worse he sounds. Seriously, why are you wasting time on this loser? He'll hit you too you know. It's just a matter of time.

He got curt with me via text for the first time on Monday for no real reason :(

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Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:39

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 07:42

Are you a parent OP?

Yes I have a 1 year old and 6 year old they haven’t met him and won’t

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Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:40

Baggingarea · 18/05/2022 07:41

Every sentence of your post contained a red flag. Call it off now. He’s only going to be trouble.

I didn’t feel safe Sat at that bbq as if the ex had come back to the house there would of been trouble

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merryhouse · 18/05/2022 09:41

Well, I was going to put "WHYYYYYYYYYYY" but then I discovered that you're still living with your actual husband, which explains a lot.

You're only doing this because you're unhappy at home.

Put all this exhausting effort you've been spending on hideous men into working out a way to properly split your marriage, and into minimising the impact it will have on your children (who, btw, are not completely unaffected by what you've been doing so far).

Concentrate on your finances and your children, and then in ten years time you might be in a place where you can think about a man. By then there might be some decent ones in the pool (you'll never find one of those while still married).

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:42

isthismylifenow · 18/05/2022 09:23

🤔41?

How can you be arsed with all this drama at age 41?

Some of your posts are in past tense, and some not. So have you dumped him?

I haven’t spoken to him since Monday when I told him off for being curt to me via text, so yes cutting him off but he owes me money only £50 but I need to get that back

OP posts:

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:44

merryhouse · 18/05/2022 09:41

Well, I was going to put "WHYYYYYYYYYYY" but then I discovered that you're still living with your actual husband, which explains a lot.

You're only doing this because you're unhappy at home.

Put all this exhausting effort you've been spending on hideous men into working out a way to properly split your marriage, and into minimising the impact it will have on your children (who, btw, are not completely unaffected by what you've been doing so far).

Concentrate on your finances and your children, and then in ten years time you might be in a place where you can think about a man. By then there might be some decent ones in the pool (you'll never find one of those while still married).

On and off but yes still living with him so that prob does not help matters at all. How do you know that anyway?

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CanofCant · 18/05/2022 09:44

It's very doubtful you will get that money back. Just write it off, don't use it as an excuse to keep in touch.

Watchkeys · 18/05/2022 09:46

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:14

Thanks that really hurt :(

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But it's the plain and simple truth. The fact that you don't want to hear the plain and simple truth explains why you're in such a relationship, and why you're having the drama of a 15 year old. Things are not as you want them to be. Until you face that, you'll get nowhere.

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:47

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 09:23

This was what you said six weeks ago:

I have been dating a guy for 6 months totally fell for him to be honest but he has depression and cuts me off when he is bad for a few days at a time. This week has been really bad as he has come off of his anti depressants as they are meaning he has no emotions and he has not spoken to me all week as he has turned his phone off. He told me when I saw him a week ago that he cuts off to handle it and doesn’t talk to anyone. First of all how am I anyone when he can sleep with me, tell me he loves me and tell me I make him smile? Yesterday I drove to his house in my lunch break he didn’t answer the door even though I was shouting through the letterbox. Today I took a day off work so we could spend the day together. He didn’t even have his phone on all day so we couldn’t meet. It is leaving me feel heartbroken when he cuts off, now he has had his phone off for a week. What would your advice be?

You also added this:

I found out recently he is spending £400 a month on cocaine

And then this bombshell also from six weeks ago…

I haven’t been that happy for the last 3 years and my head is regularly getting turned :( I am still in my marriage due to the cost of living and the impact it could have on my 2 kids. It is not easy at all at times though

And you have two daughters. I’m sorry but what the fuck were you thinking being married while shagging man who is a cokehead with anger issues who (based on this and other threads) lives at home, plays video games all day, takes money from you and is horrible to you?

Put your kids first and stop seeing him for goodness sake. Then file for divorce and get some solo therapy to work out what you want before even considering dating someone again.

I am on off in my marriage and with this guy as friends more really not sex, but yes it has got worse than when I last posted

OP posts:

PinotPony · 18/05/2022 09:48

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 09:23

This was what you said six weeks ago:

I have been dating a guy for 6 months totally fell for him to be honest but he has depression and cuts me off when he is bad for a few days at a time. This week has been really bad as he has come off of his anti depressants as they are meaning he has no emotions and he has not spoken to me all week as he has turned his phone off. He told me when I saw him a week ago that he cuts off to handle it and doesn’t talk to anyone. First of all how am I anyone when he can sleep with me, tell me he loves me and tell me I make him smile? Yesterday I drove to his house in my lunch break he didn’t answer the door even though I was shouting through the letterbox. Today I took a day off work so we could spend the day together. He didn’t even have his phone on all day so we couldn’t meet. It is leaving me feel heartbroken when he cuts off, now he has had his phone off for a week. What would your advice be?

You also added this:

I found out recently he is spending £400 a month on cocaine

And then this bombshell also from six weeks ago…

I haven’t been that happy for the last 3 years and my head is regularly getting turned :( I am still in my marriage due to the cost of living and the impact it could have on my 2 kids. It is not easy at all at times though

And you have two daughters. I’m sorry but what the fuck were you thinking being married while shagging man who is a cokehead with anger issues who (based on this and other threads) lives at home, plays video games all day, takes money from you and is horrible to you?

Put your kids first and stop seeing him for goodness sake. Then file for divorce and get some solo therapy to work out what you want before even considering dating someone again.

Jesus OP. I know you might feel like your head has been turned and you have fallen for this guy but, trust me, it's just a distraction from the horrible situation at home.

You have enough in your plate sitting the split from your DH. Don't add to your mental load. Get rid of this bellend, who clearly doesn't give a shit about you despite the occasional charm. Focus on yourself and your girls while you sort out your finances and living arrangements.

Once you're in a better place, you'll be able to date and find someone who respects and loves you as you deserve.

WDTABNONONO · 18/05/2022 09:48

As soon as you mentioned anger issues I was out.

Honestly unless he's 14 I can't see why he'd do such immature shit.

Bin him off sharpish!

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:53

PinotPony · 18/05/2022 09:48

Jesus OP. I know you might feel like your head has been turned and you have fallen for this guy but, trust me, it's just a distraction from the horrible situation at home.

You have enough in your plate sitting the split from your DH. Don't add to your mental load. Get rid of this bellend, who clearly doesn't give a shit about you despite the occasional charm. Focus on yourself and your girls while you sort out your finances and living arrangements.

Once you're in a better place, you'll be able to date and find someone who respects and loves you as you deserve.

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Yes you are right I was very unhappy and at the start he was okay and it has spiralled from there big time :(

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oakleaffy · 18/05/2022 09:56

@Charliec12
He sounds absolutely awful.
You can do so much better.
An angry, drinking twat?
He is hardly a great catch.
Free yourself from the encumbrance.

GCAcademic · 18/05/2022 09:59

I would write off the £50. A tiny price to pay to be shot of such an immature and nasty twat.

oakleaffy · 18/05/2022 10:01

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 06:27

Nope he is 41 and so am I, it is very childish behaviour though I agree

He’s FORTY ONE?!

This sounds like the behaviour of a seventeen year old.

Please value yourself more.
Being alone is far preferable to being with an unpleasant man who likely tries to make you “ Upset and jealous” - Why else would he forwards the screen shots?

Chattycatty · 18/05/2022 10:04

You must he exhausted ending a marriage and getting involved with a fuckwit you do know that it's OK to be single. Take some time out from men get your head straight and no more idiots. You'll feel so much better. With two dc you need peace not drama.

Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:06

oakleaffy · 18/05/2022 10:01

He’s FORTY ONE?!

This sounds like the behaviour of a seventeen year old.

Please value yourself more.
Being alone is far preferable to being with an unpleasant man who likely tries to make you “ Upset and jealous” - Why else would he forwards the screen shots?

Show quote history

The one I was seeing didn’t forward me the screenshots they got to me via another friend but yes still awful regardless

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Original poster

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:07

Chattycatty · 18/05/2022 10:04

You must he exhausted ending a marriage and getting involved with a fuckwit you do know that it's OK to be single. Take some time out from men get your head straight and no more idiots. You'll feel so much better. With two dc you need peace not drama.

Yep all very draining to be honest as this fuckwit made me happy now he has just turned in to someone I don’t know

OP posts:

oakleaffy · 18/05/2022 10:09

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 09:21

I know the not great sex is awful alone 😁

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Let me guess…
He’s likely impotent with the drinking and coke.

This makes him feel small ( No pun intended) and you try to make him feel better?

He’s not even a good lover!

Kick him out.

Chattycatty · 18/05/2022 10:12

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:07

Yep all very draining to be honest as this fuckwit made me happy now he has just turned in to someone I don’t know

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Then end it. It is not compulsory to be with him life is too short for drama and definitely too short for relationships that drain you. He's 41 he isn't going to change.

Shelby2010 · 18/05/2022 10:12

Get rid. And have a long hard look at why you’ve stuck with him this long. Lots of women get sucked into trying to rescue a ‘troubled man who can only be saved by the love of a good woman’. It’s bollocks.