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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Inappropriate behaviour from a guy I am seeing?

312 replies

Charliec12 · 17/05/2022 22:14

I have been seeing a guy for 6 months now we are taking things slow and not official. He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help. Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her). Anyway the ex girlf split up with her new partner that evening and he moved out. The partner who moved out blames the guy I am seeing for it all as he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still. Anyway I found out the next day that to wind the partner up who had moved out that night the guy I am seeing had decided to send messages to the partner about what he was doing in bed to his ex girlf who is also the guy I am seeing’s ex girlf too. I got sent the screenshots sadly. This is out of order isn’t it from the guy I am seeing even though we are not official? He was very drunk and said he did it to wind the ex partner up who had just split up with the girl. The partner I am seeing has not apologised to me about it either

OP posts:
Charliec12 · 20/05/2022 07:39

PinotPony · 20/05/2022 07:15

Bloody hell. Is this thread really still going?!

OP, your answers to people's posts are incredibly passive. You agree that he's a twat. You agree that you've made by choices. You agree that it's all too much drama.

But you aren't saying anything about how or when you're going to improve your situation. You haven't blocked him. You haven't arranged therapy for yourself. You haven't told your DH that the marriage is over.

All this "Oh dear, my life is shit. Poor me." doesn't wash when you're taking no accountability for your actions or control of your future. Tell us, what are YOU going to do?

Yes I have blocked him, getting lots of therapy at the moment from talking to others on here and friends. Enjoying the peace from what him and his ridiculous circle brought :)

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 20/05/2022 08:30

Charliec12 · 20/05/2022 06:43

Why? Have you got anything positive to add?

Not anymore. I tried but it fell on oddly unreceptive and passive ears.

Charliec12 · 20/05/2022 09:24

I have taken all of the advice on board thanks and made changes as I have mentioned a few times

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/05/2022 15:16

Charliec12 · 19/05/2022 16:23

No point telling him that no and in the past anyway now

I'd think that he needs to get himself fully screened for STDs you might have passed on from having sex with the drug addict.

They don't always stick to one drug from 14-45; there could very easily be intravenous/skin popping drug use in his past, along with his chaotic relationships and casual sex such as he had with you - and there is no way he would have told you about the true risks of having sex with him.

No point telling him? Is that before or after he finds out in the future that you've given him a death sentence from Hepatitis? Or HIV?

Charliec12 · 20/05/2022 17:51

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/05/2022 15:16

I'd think that he needs to get himself fully screened for STDs you might have passed on from having sex with the drug addict.

They don't always stick to one drug from 14-45; there could very easily be intravenous/skin popping drug use in his past, along with his chaotic relationships and casual sex such as he had with you - and there is no way he would have told you about the true risks of having sex with him.

No point telling him? Is that before or after he finds out in the future that you've given him a death sentence from Hepatitis? Or HIV?

Agreed and yes already checked that out at STD clinic and all fine luckily

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 20/05/2022 18:18

Agreed and yes already checked that out at STD clinic and all fine luckily

Since the last time you had sexual contact?

Get checked again in 6 months, to be certain.

Herejustforthisone · 20/05/2022 21:05

Agreed and yes already checked that out at STD clinic and all fine luckily

Hmm.

Charliec12 · 20/05/2022 21:10

Herejustforthisone · 20/05/2022 21:05

Agreed and yes already checked that out at STD clinic and all fine luckily

Hmm.

Yes because I am lying about it

OP posts:
Charliec12 · 20/05/2022 21:11

girlmom21 · 20/05/2022 18:18

Agreed and yes already checked that out at STD clinic and all fine luckily

Since the last time you had sexual contact?

Get checked again in 6 months, to be certain.

Nope since the first time and will do thanks :)

OP posts:
150poundrebate · 20/05/2022 22:57

Has your husband been checked, though? Or have you had no sexual contact with him since you started having sex with your boyfriend?

wellhelloitsme · 22/05/2022 14:04

Have you managed to stay no contact with this guy now @Charliec12?

Charliec12 · 22/05/2022 14:46

wellhelloitsme · 22/05/2022 14:04

Have you managed to stay no contact with this guy now @Charliec12?

Yes I have :)

OP posts:
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