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Original poster

Weed - deal breaker?

192 replies

LooseGoose22 · 15/05/2022 00:30

Would smoking weed be a deal breaker for you in a potential partner?

Seems like nice guy in many ways, he is self employed, appears to do plenty of housework, cooking, works around the house, seems to do a lot with/for his kids etc. ..... but found out he smokes weed on a regular basis (he was open about it).

Says he feels he needs it to be chilled, chatty, upbeat etc.
Says he would be a different person without it (in a bad way).
Says other ways of taking Marijuana do not work for him/are just not for him.

My usual approach would be; no fkg way.
I shouldn't be questioning that, should I?

OP posts:
verdantverdure · 07/06/2023 16:59

How much does he spend on it?

I wouldn't be ok with our money going up in smoke even at the packet of cigarettes a day level of £300 a month and I imagine nightly weed plus social weed costs more than that?

MissCrowley · 07/06/2023 17:06

Yes a deal breaker for me, any kind of drug/ substance abuse would be.
There's nothing worse than a car door opening, kids coming out of it and a massive weed smell.
Do you have kids either of you?
Can you tell he's had it? Is he noticeably stoned (red eyes etc)?
It's down to you, if it bothers you then there'll be no point in carrying on as he won't change.
And before anyone jumps on me, yes I have done weed, quite a lot, eventually it affected me really badly and I quit straight away at which point I was under the age of 20.

ShandaLear · 07/06/2023 17:09

ZOMBIE THREAD

Tiny2018 · 07/06/2023 17:56

As the ex of a habitual weed smoker- never again. Weed always came first and if for any reason he couldn't get any, he turned into an angsty, angry arsehole.

So glad I'm not with him anymore.

catpoppet · 07/06/2023 19:09

yes what is it about weed smokers that makes them so volatile when they can't get it? so much for a supposed "chill out" drug

namechanged9999 · 07/06/2023 21:12

I was married to someone who smoked weed every day. Don’t do it. Biggest mistake of my life. They become psychotic / sociopathic and paranoid and crazy eventually. Can’t deal with any stress without weed. He lost the plot. He got anger issues. He couldn’t cope with normal life occurrences. He became literally stupid. He slept a lot and wouldn’t help with DD. Run.

GloriousD · 07/06/2023 21:36

He will be minimising everything he says.

JandalsAlways · 07/06/2023 21:41

I know lots of people that do this and think you need to assess each situation on its own. Regular weed isn't good for most people, especially of they have underlying mental illness. In saying that many people drink alot every day (me and my DH included), and imo this is worse even though it's acceptable

GloriousD · 07/06/2023 22:08

Do you know the reason why the relationship with the mother of his children failed?

SayItStraight · 07/06/2023 22:18

LooseGoose22 · 15/05/2022 09:41

Smoking weed when he's solely responsible for his kids would also be a massive deal breaker for me.

Will Google this for info, but what are the lasting effects of smoking weed the night before, as it were? How long are effects supposed to last? Is it constant low level if you are doing it most nights/a lot of nights?

One spliff means you can't drive for 24 hours so you'll always be designated driver.

Also, you'll always play second fiddle, as will your children if you have any.

I don't care what anyone says, you can get dependent on it and there's enough good reason it's a class B which sends people to prison.

SayItStraight · 07/06/2023 22:22

theemmadilemma · 14/09/2022 17:10

People in this country need to educate themselves on weed.

I'm not suggesting teenagers smoking super strength weed is great, but many many responsible adults use it to relax, deal with anxiety and pain etc.

Used correctly no different than a beer after work.

Director level people, lawyers, doctors, all using daily quietly.

I'm guessing you are one of them?!

SayItStraight · 07/06/2023 22:24

Aretheyhavingalaugh · 14/09/2022 19:13

Not a deal breaker for me. One of the smartest, nicest, well put together, caring, sensible people I know smokes weed on a regular basis. As others have said would much rather that than a heavy drinker. Weed doesn't make you violent like alcohol can and I've been around people that enjoyed alcohol a bit too much. I don't smoke weed and rarely drink but I've got experience of both. Weed can effect you mentally but you would already have some kind of issue in the first place, it wouldn't be the weed causing the problem.

Maybe he's only nice because he's got all the weed he 'needs' to keep him sweet?

SayItStraight · 07/06/2023 22:25

Devo1818 · 14/09/2022 20:27

My DH smokes weed most weekends. He's not a fan of alcohol and he uses it in the same way I use wine, to relax on a Friday and Saturday night. I don't love it tbh but I wouldn't tell him to stop - he can afford it, it's under control (he doesn't ever seem noticeably stoned) and I wouldn't like it if he told me to stop drinking wine.

Difference is you're legal and he's not

JandalsAlways · 07/06/2023 22:27

SayItStraight · 07/06/2023 22:25

Difference is you're legal and he's not

Show quote history

I don't really see why that should be the issue, alcohol and cigarettes should be made illegal too

Cosycover · 07/06/2023 22:28

Absolute deal breaker for me.

I have seen the very bad side of weed though so I am biased.

SayItStraight · 07/06/2023 22:28

If you used that logic then you could rob a bank anytime you need want a holiday

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