Weed - deal breaker?

[LooseGoose22]

Would smoking weed be a deal breaker for you in a potential partner?

Seems like nice guy in many ways, he is self employed, appears to do plenty of housework, cooking, works around the house, seems to do a lot with/for his kids etc. ..... but found out he smokes weed on a regular basis (he was open about it).

Says he feels he needs it to be chilled, chatty, upbeat etc.
Says he would be a different person without it (in a bad way).
Says other ways of taking Marijuana do not work for him/are just not for him.

My usual approach would be; no fkg way.
I shouldn't be questioning that, should I?

Complete turnoff. It stinks and the stench hangs around for ages and clings to everything. I remember a student coming to class post spliff and he stunk out a 300 seat lecture theatre.

I'm a heavy weed smoker.

I have a very responsible job.

4 teenagers all doing well in life.

Own my own 5 bed house.

Have my shit together.

Not everyone that smokes weed is a scumbag.

There were a few kids at school whose parents smoked weed and their clothes always stank of it. Always made me feel sad for them.

There's always a few car-crash people around. Do you feel sad for people who drink too much?

occasional usage - probably ok. Regular - no way! Everyone I know who is a long term user has either mental health issues as a result, or is a deadbeat loser.

If he's fine then don't cause an issue. Simply not worth it.

There is a mega-ton of nonsense talked about cannabis. First and most importantly it is not addictive in the way tobacco or alcohol is. Secondly, if he's smoking skunk that is a MAJOR issue.It sounds as if he isnt 'couch locked' as he's self-employed.

Don't jettison a perfectly good relationship because he likes a toke.

Deal breaker, I wouldn't want to be with an addict of any kind. Especially if children are involved.

Not sure if that was in relation to my most recent post? Apologies if not but if so - if I knew kids who went to school smelling of their parents booze, which is the equivalent of what I said re kids smelling of their parents' weed, then yes I would feel sorry for them.

Citation needed

Dealbreaker for me. I wouldn’t give a shit about the reasons he gives to justify smoking it.

“Says he feels he needs it to be chilled, chatty, upbeat etc.
Says he would be a different person without it (in a bad way).
Says other ways of taking Marijuana do not work for him/are just not for him.”

What he’s actually saying is that he’s got ishooos that he’s not willing to confront and deal with and prefers to smoke weed as a way to escape and feel better about himself. Some people drink to escape the reality of their lives. He’s choosing weed to do that.

Oh and he’s warning you that he’ll be an arsehole if he doesn’t get a fix / you demand he stops.

You should stay well clear of him. He is likely to be smoking stronger stuff that you don't know about. Actually listen to what he said about been a nicer person after smoking it.

My niece got her self a waste of space bf, who we later found out was a drug user. He knocked out his naked ex gf at his mums and left her there. He had been in jail for car theft and burglary. Every time he got kicked out he kicked my sisters door in, or my niece begged my sister to let him stay. His sister is the same and squats until they remove her. The sister visits home to rob, and my nieces bf would hide drugs in the children's draws. My niece has 3 young children, and got hooked on the drugs too. Both are paranoid and my niece has tried to hang her self having an episode. And they steal money and I no longer visit them after the stories they make up about family and friends. The places that are supposed to help them say they have to go and get help but they never do.

Op, move on already, he’s talking out of his arse. I suspect that his use of weed has become a crutch if he really believes the so called benefit to his personality of smoking it.

knowing someone who smokes weed regularly and being in a relationship with someone who does, are two very different things and the latter should be avoided.

He needs weed to have a good time.
Get shot of him. It’s a red line for me, always has been, always will be. Same with excessive alcohol use.

my ex husband was a heavy weed smoker, caused no end of problems including severe mental health problems. and yep, he scored on every family holiday abroad, even took it on holiday, with it shoved up his bum. never been so happy since divorcing him, run for the hills

Please look up cannabis-induced psychosis. It's not harmless. I lived in the Netherlands for years (where it's semi-legal) - it really affects people's brains in a bad way. The teens I knew who smoked a lot of weed did fuck all with their subsequent lives. There is a reason most people in the Netherlands don't smoke weed.

@wellhelloitsme ah, they should smoke in the garden shed like me 😉

Dealbreaker

Dealbreaker, I wouldn’t date a weed smoker, been there and done that, chilled and lovely guy as long as he could have a smoke, if he couldn’t get hold of any weed he had a personality transplant and became aggressive, irritable and downright nasty.

Out of interest what did you decide @LooseGoose22 ?

Not a deal breaker for me. My DP has smoked weed on and off all his life and can (and did) happily give it up for very long periods as he had a job where it was an absolute no-no. He is smoking daily now to deal with the stress of looking after his DM who has late stage dementia (full time all through Covid) whilst also dealing with a life-limiting illness of his own. Much better alternative than alcohol.

It would be a deal breaker for me.

My 24 yr old niece met a boy couple of years older. I found out that he had done time for stealing cars, and doing burglaries. They was a lot of drama and my sister would ban him from the house. He would kick the front door in, and my niece would beg for my sister to let him stay. My sister had to hide money from him. Him and his sister are both on drugs, his sister lives in a squat until the police move her on or jail her. They steal any thing from the parents house when they visit.

We found out he hides the weed in the kids drawers. My niece decided to try it too, and is now addicted to using it daily too. I was not allowed to knock on the front door because my niece is paranoid and panic's. My sister was in bits once to arrive home from her evening job to finds her hanging herself in the bath room. He would have my sister drop him at meeting places for their supply.

They have 3 young kids and pawned stuff including the tv, and we fed the kids and gave a tv to them. My niece imagines things, and if they don't get money given they start to try to cause friction between people. So I said enough is enough, and after every thing else my niece said we no longer have contact with them. The police just say they is nothing any one can do they have to want help.

People in this country need to educate themselves on weed.

I'm not suggesting teenagers smoking super strength weed is great, but many many responsible adults use it to relax, deal with anxiety and pain etc.

Used correctly no different than a beer after work.

Director level people, lawyers, doctors, all using daily quietly.

Not for me. I smoked a fair bit in adolescence then stopped when I realised how anxious and paranoid it was making me. I actually hate it as a drug, it's very habit forming and the regular users I know are boring, insular and self absorbed. It doesn't do anything to enhance people socially, quite the opposite. Multiple people from my childhood have cannabis psychosis and are prescribed large doses of antipsychotics and have no life to speak of, just existing in a haze from one day to the next. The adult users I know now stink of it and are distinctly lacking in organisational skills, drive, motivation and maturity!

I know some smoke it for pain/symptom relief which I understand but it's harmless image doesn't fit with the reality.

I think its off putting yes. I did see someone who smoked weed. He functioned well but he was not my BF.

I believe some people can function fine just like those that drink 3/4 times after work at home.

I would be more interested in where is he at in life? His goals? Career?

I would walk away without looking back.