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Original poster

Older man

164 replies

Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 20:45

Hi everyone
I could do with some help please. I’m 24 and have a huge crush on a 49 year old. We have exchanged messages but so far it’s not gone any further. He’s expressed that he would like it too though. I’ve never been with someone older than me before and I’m not really sure but I could do with some advice. Is this a bad idea? I feel so apprehensive and nervous about it all but at the same time I do want to see what happens. Any advice welcome!

OP posts:
pictish · 07/05/2022 20:50

I’m going to say he’s too old for you.

Regularsizedrudy · 07/05/2022 20:51

Is this a bad idea? YES.

Adeleskirts · 07/05/2022 20:54

Oh god if my daughter who is the same age said this I’d tell her to run run and then run some more. And don’t look back

he wants an ego boost and a shag op. Don’t go there, honestly. Don’t do it. Yoire going to get hurt, a notch on his bed post or his old age carer. Plus there is a huge power imbalance.

im fifty three, think about it, I go to festivals, i socialise, I have a great career. I don’t want to be going home to a partner who is knocking on eighty.

move on sweetie. Move on fast.

Onthemaintrunkline · 07/05/2022 20:58

The age difference here, I think, leaves you mismatched in pretty much every area. Move on and move on quickly.

HollowTalk · 07/05/2022 21:00

So he was older than you are now when you were born? You realise that's like you going out with an 11-year-old?

Nsky62 · 07/05/2022 21:01

Way too old, find someone nearer your own age

CambsAlways · 07/05/2022 21:02

Not a good idea old enough to be your father! He just wants a shag ! I’m sure he would like it to go further, up to you of course op!

DidiSharma · 07/05/2022 21:03

Men his age who chase women your age are bad news.
I'm sure it would be a huge ego boost for him to bed you, not because of your personality or his crush on you but simply because you are young.

I'll tell you now you will be the one left short changed and perhaps even hurt by the experience. Whatever 'daddy issues' that made you attracted to him, he is NOT on the same wavelength as you. This will be a porn category sex for him. I'm sure you can do much better.

CherrySocks · 07/05/2022 21:04

HollowTalk · 07/05/2022 21:00

So he was older than you are now when you were born? You realise that's like you going out with an 11-year-old?

Or him at 24 going out with a one year old baby

seensome · 07/05/2022 21:04

I've never fancied an older man so I can't imagine it personally but if you fancy him, go for it, you're both adults and you don't have to settle with him.

pompomseverywhere · 07/05/2022 21:05

What has happened to you in your past that makes you attracted to an older man? Such an old man?

sidebirds · 07/05/2022 21:11

trust your instincts. my mother was 27 when she married my father, who was 54. they met through work. i never heard them exchange an angry word and they were together until he died at the age of 90. the downside was that she finally had to nurse him, however he was extremely youthful for his age and this only happened in the last few years. she wasn't interested in meeting anyone else after his death. i think their situation was unusual. it was difficult being the child of parents of such differing ages in that i was teased a lot at school. play it by ear! 👂

Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 21:12

I will be 25 in November and he’s turning 50 in August so he will be exactly double my age! I’ve no idea why I’ve never been attracted to an older man before. I must say he is very sexually explicit sometimes in his messages. I think for him it would be purely sexual but he has told me he likes me

OP posts:
Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 21:13

That meant to say I have no idea why I feel like this!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/05/2022 21:18

Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 21:12

I will be 25 in November and he’s turning 50 in August so he will be exactly double my age! I’ve no idea why I’ve never been attracted to an older man before. I must say he is very sexually explicit sometimes in his messages. I think for him it would be purely sexual but he has told me he likes me

He sounds like a creepy pig. I know you're very young, but please, FGS, raise your standards. Do you really want to be a fuck doll for some pathetic, middle-aged man?

Rewritethestars1 · 07/05/2022 21:22

Don't bother its a waste of your time.. I 'dated' a 40 year old when I was 21. We were at totally different stages of life obviously and it became an issue. He had children with his ex wife and while I like children I was in no way ready to be a step parent. I wanted to go out every night but he didn't and often couldn't. He was in an established career and I was at uni and we had totally different priorities.
Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it for a while because he treated me like a queen and its the best sex I have ever had but it wasn't meant to last. I look back on the power imbalance and feel a bit sick.
It was a fantasy for him which he admitted.

Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 21:31

Thank you everyone. I should also add he has a teenage son too with an ex wife. He has also just split from his current wife

OP posts:
gothereagain · 07/05/2022 21:33

Depends. A bit of sex? Then yes, if you have chemistry then go for it. I've had great sex with older men.

Relationship? Nope.

coodawoodashooda · 07/05/2022 21:33

Adeleskirts · 07/05/2022 20:54

Oh god if my daughter who is the same age said this I’d tell her to run run and then run some more. And don’t look back

he wants an ego boost and a shag op. Don’t go there, honestly. Don’t do it. Yoire going to get hurt, a notch on his bed post or his old age carer. Plus there is a huge power imbalance.

im fifty three, think about it, I go to festivals, i socialise, I have a great career. I don’t want to be going home to a partner who is knocking on eighty.

move on sweetie. Move on fast.

This!

Hellobonjourhallo · 07/05/2022 21:34

When I was 16, I 'dated' a 32 year old man for a while, makes me feel sick looking back, creepy and obviously just a sex thing for him.
Had nothing in common and never would have gone anywhere.

Like most of the previous posters, I would say too old...

sidebirds · 07/05/2022 21:37

Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 21:31

Thank you everyone. I should also add he has a teenage son too with an ex wife. He has also just split from his current wife

doesn't sound good...

MmeMeursault · 07/05/2022 21:40

Do you know for yourself he's split up with wife or is that just what he's telling you?

You're closer in age to his son than to him.

MissSmiley · 07/05/2022 21:45

gothereagain · 07/05/2022 21:33

Depends. A bit of sex? Then yes, if you have chemistry then go for it. I've had great sex with older men.

Relationship? Nope.

Same but don't bother if you're already getting feelings for him

Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 21:47

@MissSmiley That’s what I thought as I know it won’t go anywhere other than sex and I do have feelings for him. He has told me that he thinks ‘it could be something good’.

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 07/05/2022 21:49

@Wishingwell24 I wouldn't bother then if that's the case, you'll only get hurt, save your affections for someone who'll treat you well. You have the power in this situation, just stop replying, find someone else.

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