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Original poster

Older man

164 replies

Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 20:45

Hi everyone
I could do with some help please. I’m 24 and have a huge crush on a 49 year old. We have exchanged messages but so far it’s not gone any further. He’s expressed that he would like it too though. I’ve never been with someone older than me before and I’m not really sure but I could do with some advice. Is this a bad idea? I feel so apprehensive and nervous about it all but at the same time I do want to see what happens. Any advice welcome!

OP posts:
NovelFarmer · 07/05/2022 23:18

He sounds awful but I guess it depends on what kind of life you want for your future.
You are in your prime at 24. Your choice of men will be greater now than when you are in your thirties.
Don’t waste your youth on this man if he has no long term potential.

Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 23:19

He says ‘he knew it was too good to be true’

OP posts:
MmeMeursault · 07/05/2022 23:20

Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 23:18

@MmeMeursault I agree! He claims if I go to see him and give him a chance he will not trying anything on with me but I doubt that

Oh god please have some self respect and don't meet up with him. Ever. Everevereverever. Just block him. No need to tell him why really or to offer him a chance to redeem himself. He's nasty.

peterpiperpickedapiece · 07/05/2022 23:25

I'm nearly that age and I don't even want to have sex with most 49 year olds. Please make the most of your youth and find a man that treats you right nearer your own age.

FannyFifer · 07/05/2022 23:26

He is a creepy old man, why on earth wld u even be considering this. How on earth do you even know him?

Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 23:27

‘ I now have a feeling I may be the fool falling for some elaborate practical joke. more fool me I suppose’. All because I told him it won’t be moving forward. Definitely time to block!

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 07/05/2022 23:31

You're not a fool but you have been a bit naive I think (said with kindness). I doubt it's a practical joke though. He's just a dirty old man thinking his luck was in and trying every trick in the book to coerce you then guilt trip you into thinking that's a good idea.

Original poster
Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 23:32

@DatingDinosaur sorry I meant to put that’s the message he has just sent me! He thinks I have been joking around with him

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 07/05/2022 23:39

Have you actually met this man before?!

I agree, his age is irrelevant. His behaviour is creeping me out, I've texted far too many men like this in my youth.

NovelFarmer · 07/05/2022 23:42

Urgh, he is really vile.
Manipulative and lazy.
He can’t even be arsed thinking of some proper compliments for you.
‘ I like you a lot and I can see it being regular and developing to more’
‘I like you a lot’. What does he like?
He’s lazy and left it blank so you fill in the gaps in your own mind with what you imagine he likes, such as your intelligence or creativity.
No, he likes what you can give him (I.e. sex) and that’s all he is thinking about.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 07/05/2022 23:47

I don’t know if I should say this but he calls me things like ‘little miss’ ‘young miss’ ‘baby girl’ etc etc.

Boak.

How did you meet this charmer OP?

Fireflygal · 07/05/2022 23:50

What's going on in your life op? Do you have family, friends? I'm just surprised that you would find this man attractive.

quietnightmare · 07/05/2022 23:54

Oh no, I'm shone it worked out and your 40 and he's retiring, it's just it going to go well. And then to top it off you have lost your 20s and 30s to some bloke to old for you who will be in a different era of life than you at all times. Of course he likes you your a prize

RitaFaircloughsWig · 07/05/2022 23:56

He sounds revolting.

DatingDinosaur · 07/05/2022 23:56

@Wishingwell24 ah, right, sorry, I misunderstood.

He's still just a dirty old man thinking his luck was in and trying every trick in the book to coerce you then guilt trip you into thinking that's a good idea though.

DeanStockwelllsBunny · 08/05/2022 00:03

@Loveisallweneed besides , sleazebags who chase much younger women are crap lovers because they are selfish twats who value women according to their age I am guessing you are speaking from experience , in which case is a shame but FFS please do not tar everyone with the same brush.

@Wishingwell24 There is a big age gap between the two, me and my other half were very happy marred for 18 yrs and we had 15.5 years between us so age is not always everything but we came from a very similar back ground and worked in the same industry ( which is how we met) so we had a good grounding .

However the msg that he had just turned down another lady because he likes likes you is so wrong . Even if you knew / agreed you were not exclusive to each other he is just tying to get kudos / brownie points for 'loving' you.

Try this , tell him you like him but want to be sure of your relationship before you have sex and want to for xxxxx time ( at least 5 dates four weeks weeks apart or pref longer ) see what his reaction is , laughs and say why = BIN him,
cool and fumbles = give him a day to respond ,
calls you frigid / tease / insults you even slightly kick him very hard to the kerb . says ok darling I understand but then starts to pester close to the 'date' feck him off .
Waits patiently and does not pester / insinuate / try to cajole = proceed with caution

DeanStockwelllsBunny · 08/05/2022 00:09

Wishingwell24 · 07/05/2022 22:59

I have messaged him along the lines of ‘I don’t think this should continue, I don’t want to be used’ He said ‘I could get sex in half an hour from someone else so it’s not just about the sex’. Makes me wonder whether he pays for it or something?!

@MmeMeursault that was exactly my thoughts too!

ok he is now a sexual pest , ignore my above !

Mif4 · 08/05/2022 00:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Wherearemymarbles · 08/05/2022 00:27

Presumably this is now the end of the thread as you have blocked him

quite why it took you so long I have no idea.

Loveisallweneed · 08/05/2022 00:32

@DeanStockwelllsBunny

’@Loveisallweneed besides , sleazebags who chase much younger women are crap lovers because they are selfish twats who value women according to their age I am guessing you are speaking from experience , in which case is a shame but FFS please do not tar everyone with the same brush.’
Can you please explain how speaking about men who ‘chase much younger women ‘ had anything to do with anyone other than that particular group of men ? I sure ad heck WILL generalise that men who specifically chase women because they are younger are crap lovers . I’ll go one step further qbd say their behaviour is predatory

Loveisallweneed · 08/05/2022 00:33

@DeanStockwelllsBunny

and if your other half didn’t target you BECAUSE of your age I fail to see how that generalises or even includes him ?

Loveisallweneed · 08/05/2022 00:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Loveisallweneed · 08/05/2022 00:39

@DeanStockwelllsBunny

that should have said
which is exactly why

point being , it’s great for you that your age gap relationship is not the result of an older man preying on a younger woman because of her age but in many cases it is …. And yes , these men will be crap lovers , simply because being a good lover means caring about one’s sexual partners needs .

this man was clearing targeting her for sex and because of her age which is why many here are giving a hard no

Onthedunes · 08/05/2022 00:59

Regardless of his age, he's such a wanker.

Predatory turd, do not meet this man whatever you do.

Repulsive, I actually feel a bit sick thinking about him.

Gip.

I wish we could all take the conversation over for you op.

CambsAlways · 08/05/2022 08:09

It just gets worse the more you post! Yuk I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole! Fgs raise your standards!

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