Older man

[Wishingwell24]

Hi everyone
I could do with some help please. I’m 24 and have a huge crush on a 49 year old. We have exchanged messages but so far it’s not gone any further. He’s expressed that he would like it too though. I’ve never been with someone older than me before and I’m not really sure but I could do with some advice. Is this a bad idea? I feel so apprehensive and nervous about it all but at the same time I do want to see what happens. Any advice welcome!

@Wishingwell24 The way he is behaving is sleazy, demeaning, predatory and manipulative. Why is that giving you the fanny gallops? Feeling lonely? Loving the attention? Somebody, anybody love me syndrome?

Please recognise that lust for sex and a genuine attraction to a person are two different things and come from two different places. And in his case, his lust for sex is coming from a very dark place by the sounds of things.

You're going to get very hurt by all of this. Sadly, I think this is one Life Lesson you're hell-bent on learning the hard way. You will need therapy afterwards, for sure. And possibly a good lawyer after he's raped you. "wouldn't pounce on you"? My arse.

is this thread genuine?

from the picture emerging from the OP since the original post it would show remarkable naivety to continue to have anything to do with the person described.

if the original post is genuine, block this arsehole and move on.

@Wishingwell24

This is a story as old as time. Please don't fall for this banal script.

I feel so apprehensive and nervous

This ^ - please reread these words you wrote in your first post. This is your instinct telling you to stay well away. This man is far too old for you - what, I wonder, is his ulterior motive in dating someone who's young enough to be his daughter?

Please don't do something you'll come to regret. 🌹

My dad is 25 years older than me, ew!

The picture emerging for me is of 58 year old Bernard sitting in his mum's spare room whose got a bit upset by the men in their 40s thread.

I can assure you all that this is genuine. I think it may be because I’ve been single for a while. I have dated but I have bad experiences in past relationships. I think I’m trying to tell myself that an older man would be more mature but in this case I am wrong

I am glad you have recognised this is not for you. I only wish other women in a similar situation had made the same decision.

But this man isn’t more mature, he’s a sleaze, so why is it you unblocked him! Blocking him and then unblocking him makes me think you want him to do more chasing! I think you are enjoying every second of these texts aren’t you op!

Think about your much-loved sister/cousin/a very dear friend of a similar age to you telling you this story. What would you think of the —perverted old bastard— bloke in this scenario? When someone you care about is in your shoes?

This horrible man is using every trick in the book trying to exploit your naivety. He’s even stooping to the guilt/pity fuck. He is absolutely revolting and doesn’t give a toss about you. Please listen to the chorus of older, wiser women trying to stop you being hurt/used/pressured into ever more degrading sex acts he can brag about to his (equally revolting), mates.

I understand that loneliness drives us to do stupid things we regret later and this prick giving you attention has been a sticking plaster for how you’re feeling. Reconnect with your friends/family instead. Arrange a girls’ night (in with wine & film if money is an issue), or join a new club. No-strings badminton is cheap and great for socialising for example.

Don’t make yourself a target for these arsehole predatory men. Please.

Did you lift that directly from the rapist handbook? Shameful.

5128gap I would have thought someone that knows and been told by almost all the posters that he’s bad news would not want to continue to texting him! Let’s face it what’s he offering her doh! He sees her as a plaything, and who mentioned a rapist! I certainly didn’t!

The OP has said on this thread that the sexual messages are unwelcome to her.
You said ' I bet you're enjoying every second of it'. it was disturbingly reminiscent of the sort of thing men say when they're forcing their attentions on women.

5128gap I understand where you are coming from maybe I worded it wrong! What I mean is! I would imagine a man like him a total sleaze when he’s sending her these texts he’s getting a thrill out of it , and while she is allowing communication between the two of them he’s seeing it as a red light to carry on, which is what he’s doing! She blocks him! Then for some reason only she knows she unblocks him! God knows why! So he carries on, now generally if you don’t like what someone is texting you surely you put a stop to it, certainly would in my world long before now! She’s asking for help and advise people are giving there opinion but this woman is carrying these texts on, she is accepting everything he says and not shutting the absolute sleaze down!

I was very attracted to a work colleague, similar ages, when I was younger.
We had a FWB thing for a while, nothing serious.
He was very handsome and funny but we both knew we weren't going to have a serious relationship.
What do you want from him?
Sounds to me like he's sounding you out for a sexual encounter. Probably a creepy git if he's messaging you sleeze.
(Very happy there was no technology back when I was younger) .....
Definitely listen to your inner voice.