Would you go out with a short man?

[Maverick2022]

Not the most PC question, but....

Would you go out with a relatively short man eg I'm just under 5'6" and he's the same.

I've never gone out with a man the same height as me before, the prospect feels a bit odd. He's also v lightly built, which seems to emphasise it.

I've read that men routi eyes lie anoit height on dating sites etc due to mNy women's feelings about this/preferences etc.

How do you feel about it?

I don’t find tall men attractive. I am 5 foot 7 and really have only dated men 5 foot 8 or shorter.

I don't fancy men covered in tattoos. I prefer men who are 6' minimum. I prefer darker men to fair ones. I prefer them to have hair.

Does this make me shallow? No. Of my mates that are men, two are bald, one is ginger, one is 5'6". And this is the point. It's about what you romantically attracted to. We apply different criteria to our friends.

Or are we expected to shag our friends or #BeKind and have relationships with men we don't fancy? It's a no brainer and it's not shallow.

Someone who gets it!

Uh… but that’s the thing. I have friends who are ginger. I have have friends who have a Mediterranean complexion. Do I fancy them? No.

Funny thing is I’ve been romantically attracted to people with both those physical attributes too. The difference? Something called chemistry that was obviously based on something a bit deeper and not immediately apparent to the casual observer on first glance. As I posted before that’s why it’s called “shallow”. Because the blanket criteria you use to separate a friend from potential lover is near the surface.

Now, whether you feel people should make a moral judgement on that is another matter.

The point about men, often the same men we might feel bad or be made to feel bad) about not really fancying due to height or build, being perfectly happy to discriminate on "shallow" things is valid.

This guy has made his attraction on physical features obvious. He gave mentioned personality a bit, but we dint know each other well, and he has definitely focuses on looks a lot too.

Likewise, a shorter guy who made his interest clear at a sports hobby I attended (and whom I didn't really due to height, among various other things), mentioned v clearly during convo that he liked the fact I had a v slim build.
So he was allowed to pick on build/weight, but I got the impression he would be quite salty of i had made it clear u wasbg interested due to his height/build. (At the time I was on the verge of starting to see someone else, and just said that when it looked like i was going to ge asked out .... even on that basis his previously v helpful and "above and beyond" attitude at the sport, which he was an instructor in, disappeared).

Incels also seem to rant about women being selective, while never being interested in women who don't meet heir criteria of looks.

PumpkinsandKittens
Dating isn’t equal opportunities, people can dismiss anyone for whatever reason they like! Plenty of people won’t date out of their race etc, dating is not about being fair it’s about what you are attracted to and sadly most women aren’t attracted to short men, that’s life! But dating isn’t about “being fair” 

I was one of those being apologetic for saying I would not date a short man. I'd probably add beards and baldness to that, and being overweight, but the latter would possibly mean we would be mismatched in terms of exercise, lifestyle and being active.

No.

Good point, though I’d happily accept that if I was in a bar and someone caught my eye who I then went and chatted too, I would, at that moment, be basing my attraction on shallow criteria. That said, pheromones and body language/behaviour also allegedly play a big part. And there’s people I’ve come to fancy after spending time with them who I didn’t at first glance.

I’ve read theories that physical attraction is based on an archive of attributes that our subconscious logs of people we’ve respected and trusted over the years. But that can be a turn of phrase. A way of looking at you. The tone of their voice. And if one or the other is lacking then another takes its place. For many people it’s not as brutally simplistic as “above average tall” - and the sheer number of women who just so happen to all share this type is such a cliche that I suspect there’s either something primal or sociological at play than personal preferences.

I suppose I just find it baffling and a bit… well… depressing rather than condemning it. I’ve been attracted to tall people, short people, thin people, curvy people, brunettes, blondes and red heads, Asians, Africans and Caucasians and found something to delight in all. And none of these has a bearing on how well I actually get along with someone, which is the important part at core.

Incels also seem to rant about women being selective, while never being interested in women who don't meet heir criteria of looks

Yep. I have seen a number of horrific threads on Reddit with neckbeards who live in their parent's basements attacking women (and advocating violence against them) who wont date them in the most vicious manner whilst at the exact same time denigrating women who arent their exact physical type (eg not a supermodel). The amount of below average looking men who appear to think they are "entitled" to a supermodel is really quite shocking. To see this phenomena look up "I'm a NICE guy" threads on Reddit. Its really quite repulsive.

I suppose I just find it baffling and a bit… well… depressing rather than condemning it. I’ve been attracted to tall people, short people, thin people, curvy people, brunettes, blondes and red heads, Asians, Africans and Caucasians and found something to delight in all. And none of these has a bearing on how well I actually get along with someone, which is the important part at core

Sure, but thats what attracts you- all different kinds of looks. Its not really "baffling" that others might have a different attractiveness criteria, especially if as you say, what we are attracted to is imprinted on us from an early age. There are lots of psych studies that show that "most" couples tend to be fairly well independently matched in terms of attractiveness and that we often go for partners who have similar shaped facial features to us- indicating we are attracted to what is familiar. Its not therefore that "baffling" that we might be attracted to a similar type, over and over.

Okay, however why does it just so happen that similar type tends to be “over 6ft” rather than a reflection of the vast variety of human physical characteristics on offer?

I mean, a guy could say their type is “big boobs” - but, not going to lie, when I see a group of men slathering over page 3 models or whatever, I don’t really think “oh yeah, they just all happen to coincidentally share the same type”.

Nice guy? Is this a thing or a type?@

And again, my main original point wasn’t that people shouldn’t have preferences, just that such preferences - if dealbreakers - are by their nature “shallow”. It’s up to us to decide whether there’s a moral judgement attached to that.

To be honest, this is coming across as a bit judgy and superior. Its coming across as if you are saying that anyone who has a physical type is nasty and shallow and therefore below you, whereas YOU are clearly very noble and kind and deep because you will date anyone of any physical description. I'm sure you dont mean it like that, but that is how its coming across- as not very pleasant towards other women.

Maybe for the same reasons that rules used to exist for policemen and similar to be a certain height, or the same reasons that all "hero" characters in films were generally played by tall men, or the same reasons that tall men apparently earn more and climb corporate ladders more on average, or the same reasons that most successful sportsmen are relatively tall (except jockeys) etc etc.

Some of these have been stamped out by laws and political correctness.
But that doesn't apply to the mating game.

Sorry, that was in response to

"Okay, however why does it just so happen that similar type tends to be “over 6ft” rather than a reflection of the vast variety of human physical characteristics on offer?"

My XH was 6'1 but current partner 5'8. I'm 5'7. Size irrelevant!

I’m not sure why people are getting so hung up on it being “shallow”. Who cares if it is or it isn’t? You can’t make or shame someone into going out with someone they don’t find attractive and nothing good will come from that happening anyway!

”shallow” isn’t: “I just don’t find David sexually attractive so I cannot date him”

surely shallow is: “David is the perfect guy for me, I find him very attractive and we get on so well but ew he’s only 5 foot 4 so what will others think? I therefore won’t date him”

Those two things are not remotely the same.

I looked up Henry Cavil myself, as he's mentioned a couple of times, and apparently he's 6ft 1. I'd thought he was even taller than that.

It wouldn't be my first choice but I guess if they were really funny and a nice person then I could get on board.

Would rather someone taller though in all honesty.

I’m 5 5 and a half (the half is very important to me 😆) and I would probably go for someone who is 5 5, but I definitely prefer tall. DH is 6ft and he’s the shortest man I’ve ever dated. I love tall men who make me feel delicate and protected 🥰

I think confidence might be an issue though. My lovely sister is 5 7 and her hubby is 5 6. She is very conscious of being taller than him so usually wears flats but they were going to a wedding and she really wanted to wear heels so she asked if he minded and he just laughed in her face and said of course I don’t fucking mind 😬😆 I imagine someone must have been precious about it to her in the past, which is a really turn off.

I just think this is such a non issue really. The thread has proved that there are women who will date short men, so why can't they and the short men just crack on with it? Why the need to persuade other women they should want them too? Granted, there's a lot of short men, but I doubt they'd be enough to go round if we all wanted one.

Exactly! There are plenty of women in this thread who have no issue dating shorter men so whats the big deal? let them date them and the people who want tall men, date them, and everyone is happy. I'm finding this weird scolding and labelling and denigrating of women who prefer taller men to be really, really strange. There are plenty of women in this thread who will happily date shorter men- you cannot expect EVERYONE to find you attractive for goodness sake. Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea and you are not going to be everyone else's cup of tea. Thats something all of us have to deal with in life, not just shorter men.

Probably some truth in that some couples do look alike.

DP's sister has commented how alike we are.
I think it's the specs.😂

I don't have any male Eastern European features at all.