Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I think it's worth thinking about continuing the search - at least this is what I've decided I'd need to do with any FWB. Even if that is spending just a few minutes a day swiping/chatting... I think it helps to keep things in perspective and yes, to be telling yourself that you are going to keep searching for exactly what it is that you want.

Fabulous update gelato - what a very grown up chat and great that he engaged... keeping everything crossed for Friday!

I'm not ready for that either and I think you just know it instantly with someone don't you... it's an energy thing for me, someone who is sort of slowing down into old age whereas I want to be bounding about still. It's not so much a physical thing as a mental fizzingness, a curiosity for life, or something...

hotnakedgelato

that’s so grown up and mature !
yeah viagra
i shan’t wish you luck this time and jinx it
poor fellows 🍆 got a lot of pressure already

but well done both

ibelieveinmirrorballs

chemistry is a funny thing isn’t it

even with messaging ? Some messages made
me smile from day 1 , and some didn’t

I like people who I can be myself with and who make funny observations
I’m definitely an immature 48

@Thisisworsethananticpated - yes it is so nebulous! And it's funny how even in messaging it's either there or it isn't, mostly from the get go for me. Almost all chats bore me (and are boring, I'm sure, to the other person) and I can't be bothered with them...

Speaking of which, I have zero interesting ones on the go at the moment... they all feel like they're on the slow decline... ugh!!

ibelieveinmirrorballs

patience ! You’ve only just ended a fling
mourning Period and all that !

but I’m really thinking how strange it is that literally a few words in a screen can impact if you like someone or not
and the mutuality of it , so when it’s bare messaging but you can tell they also like you back

good morning x
😂😂

@ButterflyOfShay Very exciting re your coffee...looking forward to the update. Enjoy!!

@hotnakedgelato That sounds like a really mature, open conversation and considering it's such early days and you both were able to have the talk, it all sounds promising.

{mention: pixie5121} That has been my recent experience too. Little to no chats and the ones that are talking are just short, vague, disinterested replies. Maybe guys are just as disillusioned with Old as we are?

Sounds great, the pills will certainly help if he is in the mood, the pharmacist comment about the #2 issue is fascinating, maybe it helps with getting him mentally / physically/ emotionally used to having erections again 🤔, I would suggest you start with some mutual masturbation rather than dividing straight in.

Morning all, @hotnakedgelato well done for having the chat, must have been a bit uncomfortable? Really hope you have lift off 🚀 soon enough! Poor guy probably nervous now 🤣🤣

@Thisisworsethananticpated yeah got the dress on 🙂 it’s actually soooo comfortable.. kind of a soft khaki shirt dress.. nothing too glitzy. Got drinks after work so it doesn’t look out of place either!

@Eesha I think he would just look at me strangely if I started randomly over flirting with him 😂😂 there’s a nice natural vibe with him which I don’t want to suddenly change just cos we’ve gone outside the office. ☕️ Hopefully he’ll come to the drinks later too!

I will update you lovelies later! Have good days 😘😘

Yes! A lust for life!! Or a certain mischief!!

Mainly checking in for @ButterflyOfShay update… am also invested!
my 3 date weekend has revealed some things to me- mainly I’m not as sure as I thought I was what I want. At all. Thought I had all that sorted. But no sigh the 3 are all still messaging, the one I dtd with wants to repeat on Sunday but it feels like it will accidentally morph to fwb as we are both busy. I might actually be ok with that as the other 2 ( and another 2 promising on chat) are much more slow burn. Although one sent a very early very long message about his recycling this morning.. think am def looking for somewhere north of recycling , south of only sexting 😂

Think {mention: pixie5121} youve just got to keep at it. It’s all very random. I’ve have phases with no interest at all then it’s suddenly like buses. Really it won’t be you- I know it gets very disheartening.

Arrggggh after today I bloody like him even more. DARN. Don’t need any complications 😂
Today’s been amazing!! Will write more tomorrow as too drunk now! ❤️❤️ to all 🥰

@ButterflyOfShay TELL US MORE

{mention: pixie5121} I think you just have to treat it as a secondary option rather than let it define you. You are still an attractive woman with loads to offer. It's so easy to feel low but we are also at the mercy of algorithms too.

In other news, I accidentally walked into a swarm of wasps today. Happily getting my steps in and there was this haze near the road and I realised there were thousands of wasps. People started running and I did too. Yikes!

@ButterflyOfShay this is intriguing!

{mention: pixie5121} Some people on here are happy to review profiles if you wanted them to.

What age bracket are you?
Sometimes just being inside a higher age brackey limits the interested men, specifically 50+ age range.

{mention: pixie5121} But do younger men want someone older than them.
Not all 28yr olds will want to date over 35, I'd say 28 - 30yr olds are setting their cut off to 35 so you're missing some of them.

Could you do an experiment and change your age range and see what happens?

Alternatively stick as you are and soon they'll be someone who is looking for you. You shouldn't have to change what you want.

Are you on dating sites for a relationship and to have a family or just a relationship?

Morning. @Eesha that is terrifying about the wasps! 😫 that it literally one of my worst nightmares. Where did you run to? What were they swarming on 😨

So yesterday.. it was just a great day. I didn’t see him in the office and was thinking I wonder if he’s forgotten… I kind of knew deep down he hadn’t though. Messaged about an hour before asking if he was in or were we going to meet somewhere. He said he was at a lunch and he’d come find me and he was keen to go out somewhere. So we went out and were out for about an hour and just chatted away and it was all cute. Then later he came out to the drinks and was stood with him a lot of the evening. I tried not to hover too much but it was definitely him gravitating towards me. Then we were messaging and he told me about this nature place not too far from me and said he wants us to go 🤭 so all pretty cute… and I really enjoyed my little self yesterday 😄😄💖

@ButterflyOfShay that sounds really promising! I'm really thrilled for you, a real life romance rather than online dating !

Nows your chance to make it actually happen by continuing the chat.

Wasps were near this car parked but it was like a dark cloud over the road. Maybe someone disturbed one. Very scary. It's happened to me before when my children were babies and I literally ran through it with them in the pushchair!

This is also my recent experience after a spate of so many matches that I couldn't believe my luck!

@ButterflyOfShay Fantastic update! How have you left it with him re meeting up again?