Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Loving the active dating stories in here at the mo! @Mila14 good luck with your dates. @Brightstar29 i agree with pp to maybe be very honest and say you are meeting up with another person and like them too. All you can do is be open, it’s up to people how they receive the news - you aren’t doing anything wrong.

A very senior lady I work with said she dated two very different guys for quite some time as she couldn’t decide, they both knew, in the end the natural choice became apparent and she and he are happily married with children now.

Oh, to even have one iron of interest!! 😂😂 worse problems to have 😅

Same @Youcunnyfunt lovely update!! 💘💘

I always find men who try and be mysterious on OLD so offputting. Mate you are really not that interesting to me….

That’s really sweet and I honestly think it’s the best when they see you up on that pedestal 🙂 he sounds like a really nice guy.. glad its going well now 😘

Irons update here…I’m seeing Mr W next week and he has already booked. Mr Smiles not available as off business travel and then weekend away with kids…it’s ok though. We will plan for June I think. I’m not crazy about him and to be honest have a preference for Mr W. Not bothered 😉

just started a chat with a potential on Hinge. He seems cool, but trying not to get too excited. 🙂

@Mila14 your iron is sending you pictures of his kids? That seems a bit strange. I wouldn’t like that unless I was further on in the relationship.

I feel much happier since I deleted Mr Gambit’s message. I’m sure he thought he was being nice but it stirred things up a bit and made me think about how he used to treat me. It’s good that he’s had time to reflect but I think it’s too late for apologies now.

Ive just had one tell me he enjoys the 'wonderful feeling he gets when he talks to me' - english isnt his first language so maybe its that but erm 😩😅🚩

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers
Mila14

i hear you in the wanting sex . I’m having sex but I was like this last summer
horny as hell

in the end I had a one afternoon stand with a married man
proper classy

but I think you two ladies are looking
for something more meaningful ?

but there are apps for casual alot Of people here (this thread ) have used them to great effects

@Thisisworsethananticpated …I’m not looking for casual sex. If I needed I could call the ex boyfriend. He’s always wanting… I’ve done before until now but this confuses things. We can’t be FWB. So, I think I am cool choosing when and with who to be honest. Not in a hurry at all. I’d like something meaningful yes 😉

@Thisisworsethananticpated I'm not into casual sex either. it's because I haven't had any sex at all that I want it, but I want it as part of a relationship.

i'm aware that i'm the only virgin in this group, and I hate it! that's why I feel a bit wistful of you all sometimes. because you're all experienced in that kind of thing.

I’d be very very wary of secretive men. Happy to discuss but unless he can tell you straight out and not play games it will only end in tears

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers
well if that’s the case then definitely not casual sex for you my sweet xx not to start with

Totally agree. He’s not serious at all ( Mr Silverfox) but I am intrigued as to what pretence he’s going to pull😜…

I have a date arranged for Friday, first one in years. I’m a different (and probably more jaded) person to the person I was back then. I find myself wanting to ask him my ‘dealbreaker’ questions before we meet so we don’t waste each other’s time 😳 but I think I just have to go with the flow and see what happens, don’t I?

I’ve only chatted to two people and I’m finding it exhausting already 🤣 fortunately he seems really nice so maybe something good will come of it. If not I think that might be it for me for a while, I have no stamina for dating.

I feel super nervous already. What if we can’t find each other? What if there’s nowhere to sit? What if it’s really awkward? What if I can’t find the table again on my way back from the toilet? Arghhhh.

There is, indeed, a lot of sex happening on the thread at the moment it seems. And those of us who are not currently having it are maybe thinking we may have it at some point. And an abundance of choice for some - is it spring making everything happen I wonder?

I had the best first chat on the phone with Mr Arty tonight. We have an awful lot in common - we like reading the same types of books, we both hate shopping and we get each other's references. He asked interested questions without interrogating me. It was so easy and light and he laughed a lot which was lovely. We both said this was surely too good to be true... another chat planned for Wednesday night, we're both busy tomorrow. I really really want to meet him but we live two hours apart and I've got a lot on at the weekend and so does he. So we'll see. But I'm almost giddy after our chat and can't wait to speak to him again.

Please don't be nervous. See it as meeting a friend for a catch up. And don't push it too soon with deal breakers and needing to know everything. It's really not a big deal, just two people having a chat.

There is, indeed, a lot of sex happening on the thread at the moment it seems. And those of us who are not currently having it are maybe thinking we may have it at some point
not for another month here 😞

I just wish I could just hurry and find someone and do it, sometimes @Mila14. it's offputting when you think of telling your potential partner than no one's touched you. That is the thing I worry about getting into a relationship.

That is one thing I couldn't fault Mr. Gambit for. He made me feel comfortable about it. not many men would do that.

@Thisisworsethananticpated agreed ❤

@WeWantTheFinestWines that's so lovely! It's always nice to make a connection and sounds like a good start (though potentially logistically difficult?)

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers i was keen to lose my v-card asap in secondary school, and was very enmeshed in what was probably my first emotionally abusive relationship. I think you have the right idea being circumspect about sex.

As a guy ( for reference) it's strange reading about other guys being "secretive" .. I'm always up front, there's no point in getting "caught out" later. But that still doesn't seem to enamour anyone.,a few nice chats but nothing else.
Sex.. nothing., casual or otherwise..
As @ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers said I just wish someone would come along and just do it..

@hotnakedgelato you mean not liking telling people? it's horrible. I'm really sorry to read about what happened to you ❤

The only people i've ever told with my ex (who was a virgin too, so that wasn't so bad) and Mr Gambit. Which some might say is foolish considering I never met him, but he had this way of getting me to open up in the early days. If only he could have stayed like that!