Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Brightstar29

gosh ! I’ve never had that
this is probably really bad but I’d be tempted to dtd with both
that’s awful

but how can you make
a decision otherwise

hotnakedgelato

things moving at your end
staying over and toast !!!!!
you seem loads happier

my heart breaks for my son a bit right now as he’s going to lose his school place
and that’s sad whatever way I slice or dice it xx

Mila14

you are right
I just need to remember he can’t help me with my problems any more than I can help him with his

@Thisisworsethananticpated i get what you mean with that. I’ve never had it before either because usually if I’m dating or speaking to a few people the others fizzle out and I end up becoming more exclusive to one.

But I’ve also chose the wrong people in the past too. I think there’s a part of me who is anxious if I eventually get rejected by one I don’t want to have missed out on something good with the other. I suppose it might become more clear after date number 2 with one of them tonight but we also had a video call for an hour the other day. The other one I’m starting to develop a good connection with as well and I’m seeing him again on Sunday which will be date number 5.

So sorry about your son thisisworse…I hope he can find a good place that makes him feel ok and settled. I am having a nice ladies night with friend tonight in my fave tapas bar . Enjoy weekend everyone

This is a GOOD problem to have @Brightstar29 …you don’t need to decide anything at this stage…enjoy and things will get clearer eventually

@hotnakedgelato I'm not judging him staying over but going in your fridge😱
I know he needed spread but still😂

I've only recently let Mr K get milk out of the fridge and we're over 2.5yrs in😂

@Mila14 i just dread at some point having to choose because at the moment there’s no red flags for either and both seem to have potential. I’m guessing I’m just hoping fate will decide for me because it normally does?

I’m also really bad at breaking things off with people, especially in cases where there’s a good connection and no red flags. Obviously I wouldn’t ghost but I would feel terrible if it came to me having to break things off with one.

No problem…keep both at the moment…time will tell. Don’t worry

That's not awful. Nothing wrong with trying them both out 😂

{mention: pixie5121} I'm so jealous! It's the opposite for me, I do really well on the apps but get no attention in "real life". I wish I did, it's so much more natural. I sometimes wonder how many people I've swiped left on who I'd actually have a connection with if I met them out and about but swiped left purely on looks 😅

preciousthings

yeah true ! I don’t know why I thinks it’s immoral
my religious upbringing !?
society ?

Today's update: Music Man has asked me to be his plus one at his sister's wedding reception 🙈🙈 I haven't said yes yet, but ... I'll probably go 😋

I can't say much more without this being terribly outing but I will have already met several people there before, so it isn't completely left-field.

Brightstar29 - I agree it's not a bad position to be in, even if it doesn't naturally sit right with you. Give it some time and the answer will become clear!

pixie5121 + Preciousthings - I find it so impossible to gauge chemistry from photos on apps. Current guy isn't someone I'd naturally be drawn to in photos, but in person, he is HOT. And the main thing is, clicking and having chemistry in person. I think it's better to swipe right on people you're not unattracted to on the apps - don't focus too much on if someone is super hot in a photo and see what they are like more in person (mannerisms and voice make such a massive difference!). I'm quite a big fan of voice notes. I deliberately include some no-makeup natural photos on my profile.

{mention: pixie5121} true, I've met people who have looked better than their photos. I also don't have any filters on my photos. Some with make up, some without. Don't wanna be a catfish!

@Youcunnyfunt music man sounds lovely 😊when is the wedding?

great news @Youcunnyfunt …now you will have to worry about to wear to wedding do. That looks pretty settled with Mr Music

Every man I have met from OLD has been better looking in real life 😁 I always gave people a chance if they looked ok and something in their profile grabbed me.
If I had known Mr L’s height in advance I probably wouldn’t have swiped on him which doesn’t bare thinking about 😬

From what I’ve heard from some guys they get fed up with the filters and pouts. Best to look fairly natural or at least untouched up I think. No disappointment then!

Thanks, you’re right really, it is hell! And none of my friends are going through it, so they say comforting things but can’t really emphasise with the stress of it all.

You’re right… so I almost never have a day to myself, I’m either working, with the kids (who are lovely but very full on, one potentially has special needs), or with friends/Mr Beard. But I do have one or two evenings to myself a week. Which is more than I used to get!

Yep, that and cat whiskers & bunny ears

Good job you haven’t meet me then, you would be sadly disappointed,!

Sounds great 👍🏼

{mention: pixie5121}
i had the same issue, never did much on the apps, but seemed to do better IRL,