Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Mila14 i would think you need to take that with a pinch of salt, check out lovebombing, personally I would say, no it’s not normal, proceed with caution ⚠️ (Yellow alert, if watch Star Trek)

@Mila14 hmm., I occasionally suspend my account ( I suspended it yesterday) to give my MH a break. I've never been over undated with likes tbh..
I would go carefully, he maybe a "player"..

I already folded and just told Mr S that the lack of scheduled time is a problem. He suggested coming over tonight and also said that we can do lunches and evenings as much as possible until we have a weekend option again.

This feels like we are slipping into something more like an established relationship? We aren't going on dates, just hanging out.

I'm considering asking if he wants to go away for the weekend the next time we are both free.

@Mila14 I'm not a guy, but this behaviour also has my spidey sense tingling

Thanks everyone. I will proceed with caution. The guy is very handsome though. But yes. I am alert. I don’t understand this disappearance from app. My other iron is still there obviously. I have a third one now emerging but I’m not sure… he’s a country gent… we have not much in common other than his music playlist 😂😂. But I will investigate
I got into Match because I had such a quiet iron issue . I’ve lasted 3 days in total. I paid a month for nothing. I’m going off that site after 3 days. It’s quite horrendous in my opinion.Maybe works for younger people ??

He’s really willing to make it work I think. Suggesting lunches and evenings or whatever time he’s got looks like he’s really invested.
@Rubyroseyposey … good for you. I think my very traditional education weighs a lot on me and I really don’t like it. We live once. Pleasure is always welcome when we feel it’s ok

Rubyroseyposey

is rather have the honesty
really , you know and can move on faster
it’s the ones that disappear that duck me off

and I’m sorry if made for a shitty couple
of days 🍷😘

I also had this , and I didn’t mind as I basically wanted a shag and I had forgotten how to 🤣

Mila14

too much attention 🤣
silver fox indeed!

but my rule is as long as he’s making you smile
then alls good

it’s also ok to say ‘I like you and want to come off the apps’

its just the timing really

anyway keep Your others bubbling to match perspective

hotnakedgelato

he is a sweetheart isn’t he ? Also is it ‘folded’ ?
sometimes I think that we are too attuned to not have honest communication
all that game playing ‘treat them mean’ (which does have its place I agree !)

he doesn’t sound like a player, and when you communicated he responded , and nicely

I think we get bad habits from abusive relationships in the past
I do too
I’m scared of being honest in case they kick off

but he didn’t !

@Thisisworsethananticpated these are all very good points - very grounding.

He's not a player at all. He's adorably sweet as far as I can tell. I don't really understand why he is single, other than his past, and the fact that he seems to be fairly passive and very respectful. (Strange, but I think the bolshy, aggressive guys probably have more success with women).

Its honestly fine 😊 I will say it has made me second guess myself as I did feel we had good vibes. He wasn't even my usual 'type' 😂 I just would have preferred to be told instead of the lets think what to do next weekend and him taking me for food. It is what it is though, we can only move forward 🌞

Rubyroseyposey

yeah , if your a player don’t pretend to be a dater
do you think he meant it at the time and got cod feet
or is just full of shit he thinks women want to hear ?

You will know for next time
hear you oh that one totally

@hotnakedgelato …you didn’t fold. He’s being keen and reasonable and sweet and you too. Get together and communicate what your issues are. Sometimes it’s hit and miss for all of us. If you blink to early or too late you might miss a very good chance….it’s tricky
I hate the keep them keen and be mean thingy…I can’t do it and I don’t want anyone to do it to me either…I think I’m naff

Ive really no idea tbh. I have no clue as to what goes through their minds. He was insisting later he wasn't lying at the time, but who knows.

@hotnakedgelato he really does sound sweet but we’ve all said that from the start hey 🥰 I really think he is trying to make you happy..

@Rubyroseyposey hope you’re ok, maybe he freaked out or something 🙈 you sound cool and chilled about it which is a good thing!! 🙂

Nothing from Young Hunk, I was in work yesterday, he wasn’t.. there’s a social thing tomorrow that I think he’ll attend, maybe he thinks I’ll he there, but I’m not going… not sure when I’ll see or speak to him next.. I do think if a guy’s interested you’ll know, so if I don’t hear from him at all this week… ill kind of know he’s not too bothered.
C’est la vie!

Hows things @Thisisworsethananticpated any dates lined up this week? 🙂

@ButterflyOfShay why can't you just text him about tmw or the nature thing you wanted to go to?

I'm good thank you 💐

I have however blocked and removed him, so je can't try worm his way back in later, and also so there no chance of a drunk message from my end 😂

ButterflyOfShay
i admire your pragmatism here
what else can we do ?

im back with Balkan
it’s been a couple of weeks now
he had some thinking time when away, I did also
So he went into man cave
and I went on some shit dates

anyway most of the issues seem to have been silently resolved without really discussing them !
he’s being nice , I’m being nice
communications are just better
less moods
more smiling

honestly I really like him
and I think he really likes me too, you know you can tell - and I’m happy right now

Rubyroseyposey
smart
whikst I bet he will sex text , in this instance this is the best solution

@Thisisworsethananticpated that's great news! It's lovely how you seem to have drifted back together.

@ButterflyOfShay i think that your proposed approach is very wise. Men definitely do make their intentions known, even if it's just by buzzing around you a bit

Yeah you just know it 🙄 not today pal 😂

This is nice to hear 🎉😃

He's not a player at all. He's adorably sweet as far as I can tell. I don't really understand why he is single, other than his past, and the fact that he seems to be fairly passive and very respectful
I have a situation that was too good to be true. Please tell me you are nowhere near SWLondon/Surrey.