Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

thats a very positive sign
and means than a liking for maypole too

Thank you…same here…urban late 40s! I will check Hinge 😊

Shunter350

id totally not care if someone was aroused on date 1-2
IF I fancy them !
im not dating to make friends

I’m assuming this means flirting and stuff on your behalf
rather than whopping out a boner

@Thisisworsethananticpated @Daydreamscometrue no I haven't heard from him. I did fancy him, he looked a lot better than his photos, but maybe he just didn't fancy me. I messaged him last night and was quite upfront and said that I'd like to see him again and can he let me know if he'd like to too. I'll delete him by the end of today, but just seems rude if he doesn't even contact me to say that he's not interested.

lesgalettes

what have you to lose ?
I find people are often weak about saying a blunt no
myself included

is this your first ever date after a very long break ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated yes it was my first date in over 25 years! Was more of a meeting than a date though, with no flirting at all which I found difficult. We had quite an intense week of messaging and a long phone call, and he did tell me that he doesn't like to rush into things. But we met for coffee yesterday afternoon and I think I should have heard from him by now if he was interested.

So disappointing, but I guess back to swiping for me. For various reasons, I'm doing incognito on Bumble, so there are very few men for me to even chose from, only a couple a day.

My past 2 LTR were from meeting on Tinder. Each time I start OLD (3rd time now) I'm like IM NEVER GETTING TINDER, so I try all the other apps like OkCupid, eHarmony, bumble, hinge etc and I always go back to Tinder lol..

And my current iron who seems relatively promising is from Tinder. Tbh a lot of people are on the same apps, and I don't thing Tinder has such a hookup culture anymore - same with Plenty of Fish, there are people who have found relationships on there.

I will add that I'm 30, so I expect that there is a difference on the apps and expectations depending on age!

lesgalettes

ah I see
to be honest the first date after such a long break is almost statistically guaranteed to fail

hang in there
im 10 months in now and have many battle scars

but as tedious as it is , the scars teach us !

Penguinwaddler

tinder is the ikea of dating !
dint get me wrong there are nice men there

it’s just the sheer quantity is overwhelming and made me anxious !

Oh right.. so whipping it out in Starbucks isn't the done thing..!
But yes., I don't want another court appearance..

"whopping out a boner" 😂😂😂

Sorry I have such a crude term of language !!!!!!

the sure sure way to tell if they fancy you in my humble opinion is the back touch

you know when a hand lightly touches the lower back as you walk from a to b
I’m like either
‘I’m in here 😁
or
oh shit - time to use the ‘babysitter’ excuse

{mention: pixie5121} I agree in that the guys on Hinge appear better but actually I get zilch interest there, maybe 10 likes ever (im london, mid 40s). I often wonder whether I'm just not cool enough as most seem to be looking for adventure partners etc!

{mention: pixie5121} you genuinely do sound like an ideal gf type! Could you get a profile review or something?

Hello all,
I’ve been lurking around this dating thread for a little while (after having signed up for old just over a month ago)…was just wondering if I could join the group forum, please?
Thanks x

Hi all,

been living in a bit of a haze this week as I’ve had a couple of flare ups, so haven’t been on the apps much. tbh,

I’m just chatting to one potential at the moment. He suggested a video call yesterday when we last chatted, (he’s a bit sporadic with messages) but the problem is that I find them really awkward ! I’m always worried that I’ll do a video call and I’ll flare up. I’ve managed to deflect him though. God knows how long it will last, though 😟

@ButterflyOfShay and @Rubyroseyposey- how did your dates go? ❤️

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow- great news about the wedding! ❤️

{mention: pixie5121} incognito means that my profile is not viewable to anyone unless I swipe on them first. I assume I have so few to chose from because some of the men who would have swiped on me first may have different criteria?

@Thisisworsethananticpated we're back in contact now! he messaged me late morning and did have a valid reason why he hadn't messaged yesterday, but I still feel that he could have messaged me before he did. So I'm sort of giving him a chance at the moment but trying to stay cool and detached.

lesgalettes

whilst I hate game playing
you’ve said your piece and were honest

let
him chat further and initiate a conversation as you have asked a fair question x

pixie5121

the only thing I like about the questions is IF you scroll far enough you can answer some in a more human and open way (hinge )

but yeah with your wonderlust and not wanting kids (I’m sorry if someone else said that and I’m mistaken ) you have many attributes !