Dating thread 228: ribbons round a maypole

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Exactly me. Sometimes I can't believe someone is interested. That's a sign of my low confidence which I recognise.
So take a step back.. sometimes less is more.
Don't suffocate the seedling!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow love the little hairy blondies you’ve met there! They’re so sweet. I feel downhearted about the poor bird earlier but I guess it is life 😟
@Howlong can imagine you might be feeling a bit unsure as expect you’re feeling slightly unsure overall about her, given the lack of contact henceforth? I might be wrong of course. If you’re not thinking it has legs ..(of lamb.. hehe) you might not be feeling very positive about this invite??

I have to ask again which apps are good. At the moment, I’m only using Bumble. Do guys who want a relationship go on Tinder too?

Jesus christ did he see it as some sort of interview. YOU’RE FIRED! urgh… instant no from me that would be.

I've been in a few. My personal favourite is ourtime.
It's a good clear interface. No fuss.
I've been "liked" by a few nice women and chatted to a fair few.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow , being invited to anything being the plus one is really positive, even if you know no one. It will give you a chance to see her with other people and to enjoy her company

{mention: pixie5121} I agree! I knew by the end of the date that I'd like to see him again, and he should know too really. I mean, what is there to think about? It's like he just thinks it's his decision and not mine at all. I'll see what happens....

@ButterflyOfShay yes it was like an interview! I wonder if he'll give me any feedback...

@Shunter350 good advice. I have absolutely no confidence at all, but I'm also really fussy about who I match with. So my problem will be trying to not come over as desperate, and also holding back as much as possible and not getting ahead of myself.

I only joined OLD for a bit of fun, but I'm not finding it fun now as I'm taking it too seriously and getting too invested, which I never thought I'd do.

Maybe I won't be passive and wait for his decision. I might just be upfront and message him saying that I'd like to see him again and can he let me know if he wants to too.

Personally I could not be in a sexless relationship either. Intimacy is the glue of a good couple in my view. I think the boner on at the beginning specially is key for me. I think we want to feel desired and see evidence of it but there are people for which sex is not that important. Each to their own

Excellent idea @gelatodipistacchio …clear the air and find solution perhaps

Wow… 4 possible irons… you go girl. I’m sure there’s a front runner there…

I used match and OurTime last year, match had more ppl, OurTime probably had the the better profiles.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow @Mila14
Strange about the comparisons.. ourtime and Match are one and the same..
Oh and the "evidence" of attraction thing.,
I'm a guy ( for reference) and if I get, err, aroused with a lady on the first or second date I feel mortified.
It's like I think "nice women don't want to see or feel that"..

What's your definition of a 'nice woman' shunter? Someone who doesn't like/want sex? What would you call a woman who likes sex then?

Yup. Sorry. Badly phrased.

Have you heard anything from him?

@lesgalettes that wouldn't work at all with me. If he was keen, he would have said so immediately or made plans. If you haven't heard, just draw a line and keep looking. His delay if he does eventually respond would make me think he's just hedging his bets for better.

.
@Mila14 I've had dates through most sites, Bumble the most, Hinge the least interest. This time round I'm trying match as I feel like maybe if someone pays, they are a bit more serious about dating there.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I love that you have a wedding invite (or overnight invite). Why the nerves though, she's integrating you into her life in a fun way.

Wow…great. Enjoy and relax. I have to disagree with men in their 50s getting fewer nods. I think many of us are attracted so silver foxes. Age is just a number ( I know , cliche… but so true)
im trying to catch up with everyone here… 😊Lots of good news I see !
{mention: pixie5121} , I’m feeling exactly like you about this OLD malarkey… I went into match last night out of pure boredom… yikes. Thankfully I only paid for 1 month. I’m staying in Bumble and see what happens

Sorry about your update , but as you say it’s the beginning of a relationship, a bit of enthusiasm on his side to arrange next date would be the right thing . You have been incredibly understanding and sympathetic with his ED. It’s crazy of him not to try to compensate somehow. You need to think what next yes …

Shunter350
very smart
fhe

lesgalettes
I’m sorry . I said that to someone I had a date with also . I didn’t fancy him sadly
putting him aside , did you fancy him ?

had a very funny Uni reunion yesterday , a married one tried to kiss me . I’m like ‘once a cheat , always a cheat’

Mila14

i was chatting with a man old uni mate (male) and we are both hinge fans

now we are late 40s , urban
but both finding the best vibes there ?