Men in their 40s

[whitebunnies]

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

Stop the pretence you speak for anyone but yourself.
It was a quip.
This thread could be classed as being derogatory towards men over 40.

@Organictangerine, Not denying that your views may have dominated at a time when women were not empowered or didn't have the ability to be self sufficient but I think the younger generation are moving away from this view.

@Hrpuffnstuff1, you have just trotted out a very misogynist view. I mentioned earlier I work in a very male dominated industry and the poor mental health of middle aged men is well known. Thankfully it's becoming much better talked about about and hopefully will reduce the number of male sucuides. This is in addition to the many men who also have addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling and unfortunately could not be classed as stable.

Had he or she dated other people in their 40s or were you the first . Have you had long term relationships with people your own age ?

She had dated people her own age or slightly younger. My previous long term relationship was with a woman 13 years my senior.

Did I say that?

Possibly, but it affects women’s choice, not who men find attractive

You do realise your posted are soaked with misandry and feminist theory which is poorly received as it's an academic ruse not an empirical group experience.

If you cannot get a man the people complaining are highly likely to be investing time in the wrong areas and the wrong people.

Male mental health issues are directly connected to loss of familial environment added to the fact vices such as coke and drinking litterally rot the brain....
Talking about it isn't enough, men need to take direct action.

I married a man in his late 40s when I was early 30s. He's fantastic and it was such a contrast with the previous men I'd been out with - all ages within a few years of my own age. They were immature, commitment-phobic, not wanting to settle down. I asked my DH out too, he'd have never made a move as too shy!

We've now been married over a decade, now in ours 40s and 60s. It works brilliantly. He's been supportive of my career and has taken early retirement to be a SAHD.

Hrpuffnstuff1, you mentioned women and stability and I highlighted that men suffer with mental health issues, can't see why that's misandry as we both agree. The causes for poor mental health (in either gender) are usually not attributed to just one factor, usually a few coming together. It is now being spoken about which ultimately will benefit men.

There's no issue.
The threads generally start with women commenting on old men chasing young women, and that it's a nuisance/creepy.
Women chat about this for a bit.
Then some aging men show up to tell us we're wrong, and old men are actually irresistible to young women.
There then follows the sound of women laughing out loud.
Perhaps you're mistaking that for moaning?

You misunderstand the source of my offence. I have no issue with your view that men are attracted to beautiful women and that the traits considered beautiful tend to be found more frequently (though by no means always) in younger women.
My issue is with your 'generalisation' about woman's motivation for choosing an older partner. Its pretty offensive and perpetuates stereotypes that do none of us any good.

The threads generally start with women commenting on old men chasing young women, and that it's a nuisance/creepy.

I'm still waiting for someone to answer my sincere question as to what constitutes "old" and "young".

The OP isn't in her twenties. She isn't in her early thirties. She's in her late thirties. So a guy in his late forties could be eight years older than her. So - IN THE CONTEXT OF THE OP - this isn't "another generation" as a pp suggested.

So, again, and I'm asking so I can honestly be enlightened - at what age does a man chasing a 39 year old woman cease to be just "not her type" and instead become "old and creepy"?

I’ve noticed in myself, since reaching my mid-forties, that young women who I wouldn’t have found attractive in my twenties are attractive to me now, simply because they are young. Not very noble, but true.

On the other hand women of my own age who would not have been attractive to me in my twenties are attractive to me now.

And I’ve also found that I seem to get attention from some women in their twenties perhaps because I am now a bit beat up looking? Or perhaps they are giving me attention because I’m a dear old man, lol.

@Loveisallweneed

second article says nothing about a direct link between those workplace issues and why men die earlier than women

You are kidding, aren't you?

you made the claim that men are dying earlier and getting sicker ( actually false as women experience more Ill health despite men dying earlier ) and claimed it’s because men do hard labour and women don’t. you’ve provided nothing to link the two .

The evidence is overwhelming that the burden of occupational disease is far higher in men than women.

I always assumed that it was the increased likelihood of being killed earlier in life as a result of accidents, industrial or otherwise, that lowered the average lifespan of males when compared to females.

Theres no magic age imo. As age itself isn't creepy, it's unwanted attention from a man you have absolutely no interest in and have indicated no interest in, that can be creepy. Particularly when persistent. Ie, chasing. Chasing is creepy.
Unfair as it might seem to older men, not enough young women are interested in them to make it likely their attention will be welcome. Possible, but not likely.
Therefore to avoid being creepy they should assume a lack of interest on the part of a much younger woman (over a decade for the sake of argument) as the default, and leave her alone unless she indicates otherwise.
But instead, so sure of their own desirability are some older men (or else they don't care, as their only interest is in what they want) that they go round approaching young women, who common sense should tell them wouldn't look at them twice, making nuisances of themselves, and earning themselves the label of creeps.

Women and stability.😜🤣 Is that an oxymoron.

WTF?

@5128gap

I came to the conclusion that these men know they won't succeed with attractive younger women but get off on making them feel uncomfortable.

I man walked up to me in a bar and said "I'd love to fuck you". He was about 60, short, fat and stank of cigarettes. He clearly knew I wasn't going to go outside and fuck him. He wanted me to feel uncomfortable.

maybe better to ignore?

Its not even an oxymoron.
Its a sexist joke. (and that actually is an oxymoron.)

I'd agree. My DD and friends go to a club known for its under 25 clientele. Every week there's a group of 40s men who hang about on the edge of the dance floor ogling them and telling them they're hot. There is no way on earth they think the young women are interested, and they must be able to tell from their expressions they dislike the attention, never mind the ones who've actually told them. Yet still they persist.

@pixie5121

Got tons of messages from idiots like that in my late twenties and early thirties. Loads of baggage and wanting a fresh young woman to 'start again', as if I was interested in taking on someone else's baggage and being a step mum at 29.

Or the Peter Pans who had travelled the world and were now 'ready to settle down' at 42, looking for a younger woman to have kids with asap. So they got to travel and experience the world but I get a life of domestic drudgery and don't get to follow my own dreams, just listen to them regale me with tales of their trip to Cambodia. Yeah, no thanks.

This should pop up like an advert on dating websites.

@Hrpuffnstuff1
Clearly I speak for more than just myself when I find your statement deriding women as unstable . Your comments are offensive and far from funny or true .
as for you oft claims that’s it’s all misandry and offensive to men over 40 ha ha ha
you spend a lot of time complaining about womens opinion and even complaining that women vouce their opinions , calling them ‘bitching’
males one wonder why you hang around a the forun when clearly it hurts your feelings to hear women with opinions

at what age does a man chasing a 39 year old woman cease to be just "not her type" and instead become "old and creepy"?

45 tops!

Yep … and not even witty