Men in their 40s

[whitebunnies]

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

It's the kind of male posturing that works with other men, they haven't changed their M.O. to facilitate communication with women.

exactly !
If it was all up to Mother Nature the younger man wins hands down
patriarchal society that has treated women as chattel for Millenia and seen men hold the vast majority of financial power is what’s caused the warped delusion and entitlement of older men

Lol.
'Because as a flabby, mid 30s, average at best man, your 'options' are so limited, they barely warrant being referred to in the plural.
So, if by some unbelievable good fortune on your part, I were to pick you out from the legion of other 'yous' (like the winning ticket in the world's most depressing raffle) you should seize the rare opportunity to leave your mother's spare room before i come to my senses, block you on everything and possibly report you to the police.'

I like that @5128gap

🤣

Or his mum has told him he's a good catch so it must be true...

(She wants him out of the spare room pronto)

Men think with their little 3rd leg all the time. Always looking for an opportunity to sleep with someone younger and prettier, and caring far less about a genuine connection than women do.

The predictable and inexplicable carp they seem so fond of holding in their pictures is generally a better one.

That bloody fish!

Do they all share the same one and pass it around?

Just listen to an plenty of the older dudes who happens to be with a younger woman
The ones who crap on about how he’s lucky
how’s ‘he’s fit and able to keep up ‘ . The ones who’s main and first description of his ‘younger woman ‘ is her age and looks …..blah blah blah
They really do just think that youth is the greatest all and end all in women , huge mysogynistic
I actually feel incredibly sorry for the younger women they are with this type , they have a future of him looking down in her likes she’s somehow less of a human being as she ages simply because that’s what primarily matters to him
thats not connection , it’s treating women as sub human . That type of man doesn’t even know what human connection is .

That type also assumes older women are actually jealous or my favourite ‘bitter ‘
they fail to realise that the last thing in the world older women would want is to be with the likes of them and that most of us actually feel quite protective of younger women after having our eyes opened over the years. I sure don’t want my daughters brainwashed that they are devaluing , they arnt vehicles . We just speak out about these men and they hate it .

Quite so Loveisallweneed.

Let's educate our daughters so they can recognise these nincompoops for what they are.

Mind you there'll be old peoples homes jam packed full of lonely, perpetually single, old men who've lived in spare rooms all their lives, and fished (and been incredibly dull) until their poor mothers had passed away (from frustration of never finding them a match), and they found themselves with no one to look after them.

That old chestnut, "they're jealous", such a defense of that kind of man eh, cos they are almost without personality and certainly without integrity. I also feel very protective of younger women with older men, they are most definitely used for their youth and niavity, as older women for sure have sussed those types out.
I was previously with an older man, (9 years difference between us)and looking back I think it was because he was running away from getting older and he was definitely one of those Peter Pan types, didn't want responsibility. That relationship definitely held me back, but I think he thought I had the time to just do whatever so I don't think he would ever acknowledge how valuable my time was that he wasted.

You lot are just saying what I think tonight 😀. This is spot on.

Agree ,
how terrifying for them to think women can now be totally independent free thinking human beings who can call out the bullshit for what it is 🙄

actually, thinking about it, if I were a man who thought like that , I’d certainly huff and puff a lot The last thing I’d want to do is have a relationship with a woman my age who had worked that all out and would require me to be a decent human being who didn’t think womens value is in their youth!

No, thats describing a social construct based on optimism and urban myth. Its a bit outdated now and its a bit funny to think people are going to listen to some kind of script from a 70s sitcom. If the structures that maintain a working cohort of relatively incompetent, overpaid men in positions of power weren't there, then the minimal reproduction rates which you attempt to describe would be lower still. And those structures are breaking down all the time.

What nature tells us is that (a) impotence is frequent in this age group (b) reproductive quality and reliability is compromised and (c) far from being attracted to the demographic you describe, a significant proportion of the population despise them. Its well known that younger entire members of most mammals demonstrate far higher rates of healthy offspring than older examples.

You don't "frequently see" it either. Its very rare that an older man can attract a younger woman. There are always outliers of course, but the chances that Mr Floppy can attract Ms University Student Stunningly Beautiful are about nil to zero.

You don't "frequently see" it either. Its very rare that an older man can attract a younger woman.

Do you have any figures for how very rare it is? This article claims that in Western society, around 8% male/female couples have an age gap of ten years or more. It doesn’t say what percentage of those are male older/female younger.

www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220317-age-gaps-the-relationship-taboo-that-wont-die

I get that these men don't want to listen to women on this subject. But I'd have thought they could cast their minds back a few decades to when they were young men.
Have they forgotten their old buffoon of a boss, the laughing stock of the office party, belly hanging over his trousers, sparse hair coaxed into some semblance of a young man's style, boring on about how they remind him of himself when he was younger and pontificating about how he got where he is today?
Little knowing the young men are only listening because he's the boss and that's the only reason his 'jokes' are funny. That they collude with the young females to head him off and impersonate him behind his back?
The old men who think they're so attractive and youthful should remember, so did that guy.

Why does that worry you Percy . People state their beliefs based on their experience amd obviously that poster feels it’s rare .
seems at best it’s 8% even if we were to assume all those in the stats were older male/younger female . Hardly a big figure … so yeah , big deal

bottom line is most older males are less desirable than they claim they are
Men like to be valued for their wisdom , life experience and whole selves and talk a whole lot about their ‘experience and what they bring to the table , but many don’t seem to want to extend that same courtesy to women

Interesting point towards the end that says young people are becoming increasingly adverse to relationships where the male is older. That's certainly reflective of what I see amongst young people. The outing of so many high profile exploitative older men in the last few years seems to have made an impression. On young men as well as young women. My DP and DS and their circles are very judgy about older men with younger women.

@PercyWesterman, as the article states it was more common in previous generations because of patriarchal society and ime that is still the dominant factor.

In the few large age gap relationships I know there is definitely power imbalances. All are much older wealthier men with women from developing or lower economic countries. One woman is qualified so could be independent but the wealth of her partner enables her to assist her wider family. Her thought process is not that of a woman who grew up thinking she has choices.

One relationship where there is children donor IVF was used as older husband unable to conceive.
In another the man has lost all contact with his adult children (and grandchildren) because they disapproved of his behaviour. I think he must wake up each day and wonder if it was worth it.

Very very rare to hear a man boast about his same or close in age partner and how wonderful her life experience , knowledge , wisdom and personality is . Yet you’ll hear a bunch of them banging on about how THEY have all those qualities because they are older .
but soooo common to hear those with younger women. Comment on how young their partner is and /or comment on her looks . If he’s a real creep he’ ll throw in that that is what makes him so lucky lol
man’s if you’re lucky he’ll try and negate what a creep he sounds like by adding on ‘ oh and we get in great ‘

soooooo boring ….. what a snoozefest