Men in their 40s

[whitebunnies]

I am in my late 30s. I don't know why but men in their late 40s ask me out. This is in real life and not from dating sites. Why would they not date a woman their age? Some of these men have children so it's not like they want to start a family.

is like sweets in a candy shop, if you went into a shop and every pack of sweets said they didn't like you for one reason or another.

I think they start off assuming they'll get a hot young chick. Then several hundred messages later (with no response) they get angry and bitter. That's when they start writing grumpy profiles and sending offensive messages.

😂 That made me lol greasyshoes. I'm warming to you!

Lol you’re a laughable . So engineering and science are the only fields that result in educated opinions s are they . For your information I have a background in science 😂
I never once claimed they don’t CONTRIBUTE

indact I provided an article that included that as ONE FACTOR
the factors are long and extensive
inckuding HORMONES , RISKY BEHAVIOURS , DRUG AND ALCOHOL Abuse , NOT LOOKING AFTER ONE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELL-BEING , etc
ALL of those factors contribute to early death of men .
unlike your childish claim that me. Die earlier because the do manual labour
the way you talk down to women , condescend them and assume that certain jobs , traditionally female are not hard is quite disgusting

@greasyshoes
even after all this you still have not shown once that manual labour is THE cause of early male death , not that it is the reason men look older
all you have done is cite articles that confirm exactly what I and others have said . That the causes are many and complex , with work hazards being just one contributor!
the fact you think you’ve proven a point when in fact you’ve proven your incorrect comments to be true shows you have no understanding or correlation and causation .
you clearly havnt studied statistics not health . What can I say to someone who doesn’t understand that one contributing factor doesn’t equal the cause .

Greasy appears to have poor comprehension and critical thinking skills, and is easily distracted, as has been shown on other threads.

I think we can take this analogy further and say that if the shopkeeper were a woman and the customer went in and insulted her intelligence, was rude to her or patronised her every time they tried to buy the sweets, no matter how much money the customer had, he would have his custom rejected and would be shown the door.

Alternatively, what is the definition of stupidity? Doing the same thing wrong over and over again and getting the same unsuccessful result.

Absolutely perfect analogy !!!!!

Why don't these men go to Thailand!!

the landlords cat if it stands still long enough
🤣

He'd also have a wider choice if he was young enough to still have all his own teeth.😂

I'm not talking about a temp though, if I wanted that then I would definitely go with a younger guy. I suppose (and only in my own personal experience) that 'most' men are less mature than women (maybe its just the ones I've dated). I've dated guys my own age and slightly younger and they are usually emotionally immature or just generally immature. I have made the assumption that if I have any hope of getting someone who is emotionally intelligent and has life experience, I'm more likely to get this from an older guy. Or, maybe I'm looking at this all wrong 😂

I'm not talking about a temp though, if I wanted that then I would definitely go with a younger guy. I suppose (and only in my own personal experience) that 'most' men are less mature than women (maybe its just the ones I've dated). I've dated guys my own age and slightly younger and they are usually emotionally immature or just generally immature. I have made the assumption that if I have any hope of getting someone who is emotionally intelligent and has life experience, I'm more likely to get this from an older guy. Or, maybe I'm looking at this all wrong😂

www.theguardian.com/science/2018/may/14/exercise-is-good-for-you-unless-its-part-of-your-job
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-5730275/Men-physically-demanding-jobs-likely-die-younger.html
bjsm.bmj.com/content/52/20/1320

'Men with high level occupational physical activity had an 18% increased risk of early mortality compared with those engaging in low level occupational physical activity'.
'The results of this review indicate detrimental health consequences associated with high level occupational physical activity in men, even when adjusting for relevant factors (such as leisure-time physical activity)'.

Excercise for a brief period is not the same as 6-16 hr days carrying out physical labour, some of the projects are also mentally taxing, far beyond degree level in terms of management-planning, logistics, and technicalities.

So that puts that argument to bed.

As for the rest, I personally think both groups start to become less physically attractive past the age of 35. Aging, diet, and genetics all play a part in this.
There are a tiny proportion of men and women who actually look better once they hit 40 and above but even that doesn't stretch much past 50.
My DP is 36, I'm 49 now, so I'm blessed, healthy living and genetics have given me a longer lease of life. Apart from the fact our fundamental goals and values match, which makes a great combo for satisfying physical and mentally attuned relationship.

If a man reaches his 40s, isn't fat, has a gym body (Playing squash isn't the gym), and doesn't have any vices then he's still attractive to a larger group of women than the average pot-bellied, vice-ridden man.
Although there is a minuscule amount attracting women below 30.

That's my broad opinion on the matter.

Weird post OP

15 years between my DH and I.

Well leaving aside the obvious advantages of looks and energy; I can only speak from my own experience, but in all honesty, I find late 40s+ men less in tune with the values that are important to me than younger men. I know its a generalisation and there are exceptions, but some of the worst attitudes of sexism tend to be found in older men. You don't have to look beyond this thread to see a prime example.
Young men though have grown up in a different world and are generally more open to see women as equals. The same with other social, political and equalities issues that are important to me.
I also think many older men don't wear their 'wisdom and maturity' well. It translates as arrogance, know it all superiority, close minded to the new things the world can offer. I prefer people who accept they still have things to learn, as do I.
But the other huge advantage of a younger man dating an older woman, is that he's chosen it. He could easily get one of the young women that the old men are coveting, but has chosen an older one, despite her age. To me that's preferable to an older man, who from these threads, could be with you as second choice because of lack of opportunity to get a younger woman.
I've no interest in an aging man constantly looking over my shoulder, leching at my daughters, when I can have one who couldn't care less about my age.

40s+ men less in tune with the values that are important to me than younger men. I know its a generalisation and there are exceptions, but some of the worst attitudes of sexism tend to be found in older men. You don't have to look beyond this thread to see a prime example.
Young men though have grown up in a different world and are generally more open to see women as equals

This is exactly my experience too.

To me that's preferable to an older man, who from these threads, could be with you as second choice because of lack of opportunity to get a younger woman.

Or he could just be a genuine bloke who finds you attractive on many levels.

Indeed. But the men on these threads have convinced me that the odds are against it. And while i still have the option to be choosy its not worth the risk.🙂

And while i still have the option to be choosy its not worth the risk.

When does your option to be choosy run out?

Ooh, plot twist!

In terms of the ability to choose from a range of men, who knows? But in the wider sense, never.
I will always have the option to choose to be alone in preference to settling for less than I want.

And we're back to the research that says men are happiest and healthiest when married and women are happiest and healthiest when single.

The option to choose doesn't run out for women. A woman may be generally content to remain single if they can't find what they want. Whereas a man may need relationships for their own well-being.

When Greasyshoes replied to another poster on this thread Let me guess; you have no background in science or engineering? it was one of the most patronising things I have ever read. Not just the sentiment, the scathing, belittling way in which it was put. And what does it even mean? University degree? A levels? I have an A level in Human Biology, does that count? Because as far as I'm aware, engineers aren't actually required to have a degree or indeed any science qualifications in this country.

I have no ideas why greasyshoes posts here. I had hoped that it was to learn from the views of a majority women forum, but it appears to be more to criticise them. That sort of sentiment is a perfect example of something that would make many women run a mile.

Its a shame when single people can't form relationships with their peers, I think lots of people are destined to be single in old age. But I know how scathing men can be about age, I look young for my age (and am not single) but I've had people make rude remarks that "I'm nearly as old as their house" when they found out how old I was (I'm not even that old).

Its horrible the way that some men see women as a commodity and they try to get the newest model available when in reality for the vast majority, a woman in their twenties is out of reach and they could be quite happy with someone the same age or a few years older or younger than they are. Of course big age gap relationships happen, but deliberately seeking out a very young woman is gruesome.

I think young women now are more wary of men in their forties trying to have relationships with them. And quite often, its very ordinary men too. Ordinary jobs, ordinary looks, not great company. These men would be far better advised to value women for their company than as a commodity they can show off to their friends. The trouble is, I don't think a lot of them are actually capable. Its very sad.