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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Husband leaving as I can't have children

355 replies

Notmyfault1 · 25/04/2022 16:20

That's it really.i can't have children,and I would struggle with raising a children due to medical issues. This is relatively new.

We have been together 10 years and married 6. Since being married I have suffered medically issues that mean that it would be dangerous for me and potential baby to be pregnant.

My husband told me at the weekend that he isnt sure he wants a life without his own children. He wants to experience of a pregnant wife and supporter her through this and bring up a child together.

I'm gutted and in pieces. It's not my fault I can't have children. But i also know that i can't really be angry at his honesty.

I asked him to leave the house for a while he can think through his emotions as I can't look at him without feeling so much pain.

Has anyone else been through this?

I dont want him to resent me so I won't beg for him to stay,but I feel so much pain.

Thankyou

OP posts:

Godlovesall26 · 25/06/2023 09:15

Gardenista · 25/04/2022 21:09

@Notmyfault1 - I don't know your mental health diagnosis but my experience is that I was diagnosed with bipolar illness in 1999 ( I was 21). I had mania. At that time I was advised my mental health meant I would never be able to become pregnant and have my own child because of the medication I needed to take, and the risk of PND.

13 years later in 2013 I wanted to have a child and saw a perinatal psychiatrist who changed my medication to a mood stabiliser and anti depressant that are safe for pregnancy and breast feeding. I now have a very healthy 6 year old child.

I'm not sure I would be able to adopt due to my bipolar diagnosis, but my daughter and I are both thriving. I'm not sure what your MH diagnosis is but I would push to see a perinatal psychiatrist who can give you relevant advice - many psychiatrists are out of date with their training and things have moved on.

I wish you all the best

Show quote history

@Gardenista can i pm you ?

perfectcolourfound · 25/06/2023 09:24

GreyCarpet · 25/04/2022 17:21

Women are told all the time to leave a man who won't have children if she wants the chance at them. Other than the difference between won't and can't, why is this any different?

It's a terrible situation for them both and one which requires compassion.

Show quote history

Because that's a HUGE difference.

Godlovesall26 · 25/06/2023 09:28

Oh sorry just saw this was a revived zombie, well, @Gardenista little shout out if you’re still on here, and hope OP you’re ok💚

LuckySantangelo35 · 25/06/2023 09:32

Why does it matter if it’s a “zombie” thread!?

if it’s relevant to people and they wanna discuss they can!

personally given how tough child rearing is - everyone on here says so- I think OP’s husband may live to regret his choice!

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 25/06/2023 10:00