Is this a middle aged man thing or have I been unlucky?

[crochetmonkey74]

Lighthearted but also WTF -So I am OLD at the moment , and I'm noticing that quite a few of the men I'm talking to are so narrow minded and set in their ways.
Current experiences are : a guy commenting on the necklace I was wearing (a spider) and making a big thing out of how it wasn't a normal choice of a necklace, was I a goth etc. (I literally look nothing like a goth and the necklace was from Matalan so completely 'mainstream') Another guy while we were on a date - a little boy came running up to our table, clearly a boy, boys clothes, boys name when the mum called him. Afterwards my date made a big deal of deliberately not knowing if it was a boy or girl - kept saying "he? She? " when I said clearly a boy he replied with "but he had long hair" Are they just deliberately obtuse? Final guy googles everything I say and then says "if I remember rightly, that was built in ..... by ....." as if he knew these really obscure facts. WTF is going on , are they just all tedious old bores or have I been unlucky? (Lighthearted looking for solidarity)

@BitOutOfPractice Spot on. A lot of older men have narrow, fixed ideas of what a woman is and does, and it's modelled on their (usually traditional) mum and granny. If they encounter a woman who doesn't fit this mould, their software crashes. Instead of learning that women are in fact a diverse group of actual human beings, they spend their energy in a relationship on trying to control her, or if that fails, making endless ridiculous comments.
Sadly some younger men are like this too, but some of them base their Normal Woman blueprint on what they see on social media.

@BitOutOfPractice Spot on. A lot of older men have narrow, fixed ideas of what a woman is and does, and it's modelled on their (usually traditional) mum and granny. If they encounter a woman who doesn't fit this mould, their software crashes. Instead of learning that women are in fact a diverse group of actual human beings, they spend their energy in a relationship on trying to control her, or if that fails, making endless ridiculous comments.
Sadly some younger men are like this too, but some of them base their Normal Woman blueprint on what they see on social media.

@BitOutOfPractice Spot on. A lot of older men have narrow, fixed ideas of what a woman is and does, and it's modelled on their (usually traditional) mum and granny. If they encounter a woman who doesn't fit this mould, their software crashes. Instead of learning that women are in fact a diverse group of actual human beings, they spend their energy in a relationship on trying to control her, or if that fails, making endless ridiculous comments.
Sadly some younger men are like this too, but some of them base their Normal Woman blueprint on what they see on social media.

@BitOutOfPractice Spot on. A lot of older men have narrow, fixed ideas of what a woman is and does, and it's modelled on their (usually traditional) mum and granny. If they encounter a woman who doesn't fit this mould, their software crashes. Instead of learning that women are in fact a diverse group of actual human beings, they spend their energy in a relationship on trying to control her, or if that fails, making endless ridiculous comments.
Sadly some younger men are like this too, but some of them base their Normal Woman blueprint on what they see on social media.

Sorry about the multiple posts (if they did show). I was getting a MN error message when I was trying to post.

MN is paying up (again) today 😬

MN is paying up (again) today 😬

MN is paying up (again) today 😬

MN is paying up (again) today 😬

MN is paying up (again) today 😬

MN is paying up (again) today 😬

Tbh, he wasn't looking to date someone younger. His previous partner (of 10 years) was only 3 or 4 years younger than him and not by design.

He was also a bit concerned about the age difference to begin with. He was worried we wouldn't have enough in common or much common ground to talk about things.

He said it took him.a few weeks to be convinced it wasn't going to be a problem amd he is more worried than I am about the impact of the age difference as he gets older...

@FictionalCharacter and @JollyGoodBunting Im sorry I can’t quite grasp what you’re trying to say. Can you repeat it please? 😂😂😂

@OnlyClothes Sorry! No idea what happened, I got error messages when I tried to post, then my post came up loads of times in a row like I’m some kind of obsessed loon 😂

Can we please open a cosy daytime drinking’n’reading pub, with squashy settees, just for women?
<posts with fingers crossed in the hope that it won’t appear 100 times>

I like this, but once a month we have a dating night where we all bring a single friend/brother/dad to see if anyone else likes them

Can we please open a cosy daytime drinking’n’reading pub, with squashy settees, just for women?

We could call it The Book and Viper. I bagsy the squashy armchair next to the open fire.

We could call it The Book and Viper.
Perfect. I've never wanted to visit an imaginary pub more. 😩

Can we please open a cosy daytime drinking’n’reading pub, with squashy settees, just for women?

I seriously considered doing this a few years ago, although it wasn't exclusively for women I thought there was a gap in the market for somewhere where you could go in your own for a drink and read in peace. I was on maternity leave at the time and it was what I craved!

Definitely a viable business! But I'm guessing all single sex businesses have to face legalities around discrimination?

Definitely a viable business! But I'm guessing all single sex businesses have to face legalities around discrimination?

That's what I thought. My plan wasn't to be 'women only' but in my head I thought it would appeal mainly to women as a safe space to have a drink uninterrupted.

My DH still talks about it as an idea.

I think it’s a great idea but how would you prevent it just being another pub/cafe? I’m guessing the speak is to be able to go in and feel comfortable in your own around other women on their own but how do you stop it becoming just another pub/cafe for all i.e groups of people? Then it’s just like anywhere else or gave I completely got the wrong end of the stick? ☺️

I think it’s a great idea but how would you prevent it just being another pub/cafe? I’m guessing the speak is to be able to go in and feel comfortable in your own around other women on their own but how do you stop it becoming just another pub/cafe for all i.e groups of people? Then it’s just like anywhere else or gave I completely got the wrong end of the stick? ☺️

My idea was based on a place that already existed. It was a really quirky place where I felt really comfortable going in on my own for a drink .... it was a very unique place which unfortunately didn't survive lockdown. It was a specialist wine shop but you could sit in and have a drink and nibbles. I always said if they sold books too then I'd never leave!

I used to talk to the owner about it and my idea was that the focus would be the books. So it would be a licensed bookshop/library essentially rather than a pub. I had a name and everything!

Unfortunately I don't have guts to give up my well paid career ( that I also love ) to do it.

No. Single sex places are still permitted in law even though some would like it to be otherwise.

There is no discrimination if the idea is to make it a safe place for women to meet away from male people so that we can enjoy a peaceful evening without being surrounded by men who feel that women need to conform to a specific idea of womanhood.