Page 8 | Wife going to see Dreamboys

Anothersatellite · 2022-04-16T14:53:22+00:00

I know, I know, the boys are at the mild end of things. So when my wife told me she had accepted an invitation to go to a major city theatre to see them in all their business, I was blindsided, and I didn't know why. A few days later and I still didn't. Was it insecurity? Don't think so but open to that idea. Jealous. Ditto. It's the strangest brew of feelings that I can't nail down. One day it's I couldn't give a damn. The next day, over my dead body. She's not that keen herself, more looking forward to dinner/shopping/cocktails with friends before the Henboys bearpit of severalhundredwomenbehavingbaďly. This is way short of a dealbreaker. I have never felt the need to hand out my permission for anything, but then again she goes to see Motown tributes/dinner/shopping with friends, so this has no precedent in our 11 years together. What I'd like, is advice on what to say to her when she gets picked up by car from our home on the day. I don't want to say anything remotely snarky, or make her feel like she's going to be dragging a ball and chain around. I'm not going to be at home slamming doors and being an arse. I love her and I've never wanted to issue ultimatums. I am not that man.

NotJustAnybody · 01/10/2022 23:55

I've been to about 3 male strip shows (1 with my DM) and it's always been an absolute scream. My sides have ached from laughing so much.
I have never heard of a man going to a strip show and saying he's never laughed so much.
That's the difference.

Reallycomplicatedpants · 02/10/2022 00:31

I went, unwillingly, on a hen night and I can honestly say it was the least erotic night I have ever had!

Qisk · 02/10/2022 10:52

Anothersatellite · 16/04/2022 16:22

Your reply is a bit Miss Trunchbull. I'm not stopping her. Not 1%. This doesn't threaten me like for example like I discovered she collects neighbourhood cats in a sack and sells them to a vivisection lab.

I met someone once who openly encouraged his wife to do this. In fact I think he must have been in a religious cult because he had six more wives and they also used to collect cats to sell for experiments. This was years ago on the way to a small market town, in Cambridgeshire (or was it Cornwall?).

Felix125 · 15/10/2022 10:04

NotJustAnybody · 01/10/2022 23:55

I've been to about 3 male strip shows (1 with my DM) and it's always been an absolute scream. My sides have ached from laughing so much.
I have never heard of a man going to a strip show and saying he's never laughed so much.
That's the difference.

What is it you laugh at......?

NotJustAnybody · 15/10/2022 11:43

@Felix125 - For me and the people I've been with, it's the ridiculous outfits they wear and the overly sexual dances they perform, it's just really funny! If one gets near you then there's plenty of screaming too and lots of blushing. There's always a couple in the venue that want to rub oil into their muscles/chest and the obliquity laying down while they gyrate above you.

To OP - tell your DW/DP to have a good time but not too good (said with a wink).

Felix125 · 15/10/2022 11:54

Great - I think if you all have a good time and have a great night - then go for it. I don't see an issue if you have a group of men willing to perform that kind of stuff and group of people wanting to watch it - then why not bring the two together.

And especially up north, there appears to be more demand for male strippers then female ones

cheshirebloke · 15/10/2022 13:01

NotJustAnybody · 01/10/2022 23:55

I've been to about 3 male strip shows (1 with my DM) and it's always been an absolute scream. My sides have ached from laughing so much.
I have never heard of a man going to a strip show and saying he's never laughed so much.
That's the difference.

I've been to a few strip shows with friends and we had a laugh (mostly and the blokes that get dragged up on stage and humiliated).

There really is no difference between a male and a female strip show. This thread is the pinnacle of Mumsnet misandry.

Pumperthepumper · 15/10/2022 13:47

cheshirebloke · 15/10/2022 13:01

I've been to a few strip shows with friends and we had a laugh (mostly and the blokes that get dragged up on stage and humiliated).

There really is no difference between a male and a female strip show. This thread is the pinnacle of Mumsnet misandry.

Show quote history

Misandry doesn’t exist.

OldFan · 15/10/2022 13:54

Misandry doesn’t exist.

Of course it does (and I don't massively have a problem with that.) For instance, we can develop an opinion of men based on our experiences or the experiences of women in the world in general.

I have a friend who has diagnosed crippling androphobia as a result of her experiences with some men. She can't be in any kind of interaction with any man (often including her adult son) without urinating in fear. There are only a few men she can have in the house. She is agoraphobic as a response to her (understandable) fear of men.

Pumperthepumper · 15/10/2022 13:59

OldFan · 15/10/2022 13:54

Misandry doesn’t exist.

Of course it does (and I don't massively have a problem with that.) For instance, we can develop an opinion of men based on our experiences or the experiences of women in the world in general.

I have a friend who has diagnosed crippling androphobia as a result of her experiences with some men. She can't be in any kind of interaction with any man (often including her adult son) without urinating in fear. There are only a few men she can have in the house. She is agoraphobic as a response to her (understandable) fear of men.

No it doesn’t. It doesn’t have any effect on society in the same way misogyny does. It’s only ever used when people think women might have a better deal than men - in this case because people want to believe female strippers and male strippers are the same. Which they’re not, misandry isn’t creating a demand for sex trafficking, for example.

Choconut · 15/10/2022 14:04

NotJustAnybody · 01/10/2022 23:55

I've been to about 3 male strip shows (1 with my DM) and it's always been an absolute scream. My sides have ached from laughing so much.
I have never heard of a man going to a strip show and saying he's never laughed so much.
That's the difference.

Agreed. Totally different things. Tell your OH to have a good time and leave it at that, see it as a bit of a cringy laugh.

JFDIYOLO · 15/10/2022 14:24

My DP and I have been to burlesque, and boylesque shows together. They're fun! He and I both entertained by both.

Goodadvice1980 · 15/10/2022 15:19

OP, as a woman who went to see the Dreamboys some years ago (against my better judgment) I found the show pretty dire and not particularly entertaining or sexy. If that helps.

PinkButtercups · 15/10/2022 15:23

Oh it's from April, that's a shame. Was going to see if there was a spare ticket for the Dream Boys 🤤.

OldFan · 15/10/2022 18:59

misandry doesn't exist

No it doesn’t. It doesn’t have any effect on society in the same way misogyny does. It’s only ever used when people think women might have a better deal than men - in this case because people want to believe female strippers and male strippers are the same. Which they’re not, misandry isn’t creating a demand for sex trafficking, for example.

None of that means it doesn't exist. Of course some people (understandably) hate men (aka misandry), even if it stays mostly in the realm of critical analysis of society, rather than having as much real-world impact as misogyny.

Also there is a lot of cultural 'woke' mocking of men, for instance in adverts etc, though I don't know how much effect that has.

Pumperthepumper · 15/10/2022 19:16

OldFan · 15/10/2022 18:59

misandry doesn't exist

No it doesn’t. It doesn’t have any effect on society in the same way misogyny does. It’s only ever used when people think women might have a better deal than men - in this case because people want to believe female strippers and male strippers are the same. Which they’re not, misandry isn’t creating a demand for sex trafficking, for example.

None of that means it doesn't exist. Of course some people (understandably) hate men (aka misandry), even if it stays mostly in the realm of critical analysis of society, rather than having as much real-world impact as misogyny.

Also there is a lot of cultural 'woke' mocking of men, for instance in adverts etc, though I don't know how much effect that has.

If you can’t name what effect it has then surely that means it doesn’t exist? What are the effects on society?

Felix125 · 17/10/2022 18:55

NotJustAnybody · 01/10/2022 23:55

I've been to about 3 male strip shows (1 with my DM) and it's always been an absolute scream. My sides have ached from laughing so much.
I have never heard of a man going to a strip show and saying he's never laughed so much.
That's the difference.

A couple of posts below yours, seems to suggest a man has gone to a female strip show and had a good laugh with his mates.

I think from this I can deduce that some people (male & female) find going to strip shows awful and don't enjoy them - whereas others go and have a really good night. Some people (male & female) will go to these shows and get turned on, thrill, aroused (call it what you want) and others won't.

I suggest that the vast majority of society (both male & female) won't go - but of the ones who do, for whatever their reasons, have a good night out and get out of it what they want.

You can't tell me that of all the male strip shows that go on - not one female audience member isn't getting turned on by what she sees

Girlsontour · 17/10/2022 19:52

I guess I will be considered an extremist weirdo around here, because although I know these shows are considered pretty naff and tame, neither me or my husband would be OK with the other one going to a strip club. If any of the women on this thread that are treating you as old fashioned or controlling for not being happy would be very upset if their husband/significant other went to a strip club or got a lap dance then they are total hypocrites.